letter of motivation

Nadine Meißner · Anmeldungsdatum: 08.08.2007 Beiträge: 3 Wohnort: Berlin

hallo, es wäre wirklich super,wenn sich jeman von euch mal meine letter of motivation durchlesen könnte. ich habe sie schon zu oft gelesen, als das ich noch fehler finde. bin mir mit der struktur auch recht unsicher. danke im vorraus!!lg Nadine
---------------------------

Dear Madam or Sir,

I recently completed my A-level at the Rheingau Gymnasium Berlin. I am writing with reference to the possibility of obtaining work experiences within the host department of your business and would like to apply for 4 months starting in February 2008.

Within my exchange year in the USA/Indiana I was already given the oppurtunity to face the challenges of living in a foreign country and to gain cross-cultrural competence. Futhermore I improved my English and have now an excellent command of speaking and writing in English. At present, I am taking courses in Spanish to prepare for the employment. Moreover I will be working as an au-pair and atttend a language school from the end of september for 3 months in Barcelona to advance my spanish.

My unique mix of previous work experienes in the restaurant industry combined with my activities in the fields of sport, promotion, language and child-care make me an ideal candidate for your business. I dispose of linguistic knowledge in German, English and French as well as basic knowledge in Spanish.Being a good communicator I can easily establish relationships. You will benefit from my enthusiastic, flexible and patient personality combined with my responsible, organizational and initiative acting. I can easyily accommodate in a new environment and tackle all kinds of problems, which will make me an asset to your business.

I am especially interested in travelling, experienced different cultures and stayed in different hotels, where I had the perfect opportunity to look into the hotel branch. I am very keen to apply my skills and experience to your hotel, as my career goal is to work as a tour guide. Workin abroad is the consummate chance for me to advance my cross-cultural understanding and to expand my horizon. It will be a pleasure to understand the branch of tourism and my interests in people make it an enjoyment for me to work in your team. I have been to spain several times, it impresses me with it´s inimitable art and culture, spirited mind and cordiality.

I also informed myself in-depth about the challenging job of a club representative. In addition I spent several holidays in hotels offering extensive host programms. I am aware of the ambitious work club represantives have to complete and prepared to manage.

If you are looking for a bright, hard-working, outgoing and reliable girl please do not hesitate to contact me.
Your sincerely

MI · Administrator Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005 Beiträge: 1140 Wohnort: München

Nadine Meißner · Anmeldungsdatum: 08.08.2007 Beiträge: 3 Wohnort: Berlin

vielen, vielen dank für deine mühe. du hast mir wirklich weiter geholfen. Noch einen schönen ta.
lg nadine

Ukkat · Gast

hi nadine.

nächstes mal wäre es aber besser, wenn du deine anfrage nicht unter ankündigungen platzieren würdest sondern eher bei übersetzungen...

die anfrage wird dann auf jeden fall auch beantwortet!

Nadine Meißner · Anmeldungsdatum: 08.08.2007 Beiträge: 3 Wohnort: Berlin

uuups, danke Augenzwinkern

MI · Administrator Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005 Beiträge: 1140 Wohnort: München

Das hab ich auch übersehen...
Naja, hab's mal verschoben. Das andere Thema hab ich dann gelöscht, da es ja genau denselben Eintrag enthielt und somit sonst zweifach vorhanden wäre. Somit bekommst du vielleicht auch so mehr Antworten!

Gruß
MI

EDIT: Ich sehe gerade: Der Text war schon ein wenig verbessert. Das "it's" hast du aber noch übersehen und es hieße natürlich "I possess" anstatt "I possess of"

Tamesis · Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2006 Beiträge: 1 Wohnort: Magdeburg

Hey,

für zweiAuslandssemester in Finnland hab ich ein Motivationsschreiben erstellt. Da ich Fachübersetzen studiere, ist ein Auslandsjahr obligatorisch. Ich würde einfach mal jemanden bitten, über den Text zu schauen und evtl. grammatikalische Fehler zu korrigieren. Andere Anregungen sind auch willkommen. Okay, hier der Text:

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Statement of Motivation

Currently I’m studying technical translation in the first semester of the bachelor programme at the university of applied sciences in Magdeburg. I have choosen this course of studies because I love languages and I would like to work with languages in my future job.

Before my study I completed an education as a foreign language correspondent at Oskar Kämmer Schule Magdeburg in 2003. After that I worked for Continental Temic Haldensleben in the same year. In July 2004 I started to work for Nickel Personaldienstleistung GmbH Hamburg as an office clerk where I have had the chance to use my English skills because I have worked for an international company.

In line with my studies will be an academic exchange for one year. I would like to study at University Tampere in Finland for two terms in the study programme ‘Translation / Interpretation’. There are a lot of reasons for me to study at this University. One reason is that I was several times for vacation in Finland. I like the helpfulness and the way of life of Finnish people. I like to meet new people, get to know new countries and cultures. After I have heard that our university has a partnership with University Tampere I have started to get information which students have been on an academic exchange at this University. I have spoken to Nancy Polzin, who is now in the 7th Semester and she recommended it to me and told me a lot of details which were very interesting and helpful. The Finnish education system is one of the best and the technical mediums are up-to-date.

Nancy also told me that the University offers courses to learn the Finnish language. For me that would be a great oppurtunity because I am interested to learn languages like Finnish, Swedisch and Norwegian. I started to teach myself Finnish one year ago. But it is very complicated to learn without having a teacher on my side. And in our region there is no possibility to learn this language in adult education courses.

One last reason to spend my academic exchange at University Tampere is that I have plans to go abroad after finishing my study. Finland is one main reason. I could imagine to live there. But before that I would like to prove if it could be a good choice or a bad choice. Because living in another country is a completetely different thing as to vacation. For me it is a good opportunity to spend one year in Finland as an academic exchange and to figure out whether this country is the right choice for going abroad.

For study at the University of Tampere in the bachelors degree programme ‘Translation / Interpretation” I would like to attend courses where I can improve my English skills, where I can learn different aspects about the british english / american english culture and where I can learn the finnish language.

Thank you very much for your considering my request. I am looking forward for hearing from you soon.

bartix · Anmeldungsdatum: 19.01.2008 Beiträge: 1

"I am" statt "I'm"

Ich weiß nicht, ob man schreiben sollte, dass man Sprachen "liebt", wieder etwas informal.

Auch "job" empfinde ich als zu informal. Vllt. besser "working life" (dann doppelt sich allerdings das work, oder "professional life".

"Before my studies..."

"In July 2004 I started to work for Nickel Personaldienstleistung GmbH Hamburg as an office clerk where I have had the chance to use my English skills because I have worked for an international company. " --> zu lang, hinter clerk ein Punkt und dann: There I had... (und nicht "have had", nur "had", das selbe mit "have worked", kein Grund für den perfect)

Ich mag auch das "because" nicht, klingt komisch, ich würde den Satz komplett umstellen und sowas wie Folgendes schreiben:
"As this company is working in an international environment, I had the opportunity to improve my English skills."

Insgesamt verwendest Du in diesem Absatz zu oft "work", im mittleren Satz könntest Du statt dessen zum Bsp. auch "made an internship" (wenn es denn eines war) verwenden. In dem Satz finde ich es auch ein wenig unglücklich, einmal am Anfang einmal am Ende eine Zeit einzubaun (erst "After that..." und am Ende dann noch mal "...in the same year.")

"In line with my studies will be an academic exchange for one year."
--> "In line / Within my studies I will absolve an academic exchange year."

"...at the University of Tampere", "for two terms" würd ich weglassen, davor sagst Du ja schon, dass Du ein Jahr dorthin gehst. Auch study würde ich weglassen, programme reicht hier.

Denk dran, der Letter of Motivation sollte möglichst kompakt ausfallen!

Im nächsten Abschnitt mixt Du auch wieder bunt die Zeiten. Im Allgemeinen verwendet man den Simple Past, auch wenn im deutschen oft der Perfekt verwendet wird.

"I heard" ist sehr umgangsprachlich.

Wieder "the University of Tampere".

"...and told me a lot of details which were very interesting and helpful." --> Who cares? (Sorry ;-) )Nicht ausschweifen, du schreibst keine Geschichte.

"semester"

Insgesamt finde ich, schweifst Du in diesem und in den nächsten beiden Abschnitten zu sehr aus, versuch schneller zum Punkt zu kommen, kurz und kompakt!

Du schreibst mehr oder weniger, dass Du gern Finnisch lernen möchtest weil Du gern Finnisch lernen möchtest. Hebe lieber hervor warum. Zum Beispiel weil die finnische Sprache sehr außergewöhnlich ist und so gut wie keine Verwandschaften zu anderen Sprachen aufweist (Ungarisch hat wohl eine ähnliche Grammatik, Estisch hat teilweise ähnliche Vokabeln). Damit (durch Wissen in dem Gebiet) zeigst Du eher Dein Interesse.

schreib außerdem besser: "Scandinavian languages"

"Finland is one main reason." What for? Du meinst wohl ein "Hauptziel" von Dir?

"if it could be a good choice or a bad choice." schreib's anders

"different thing as to vacation." thing? --> ugs. und das "to" weg da

"For study at the University of Tampere in the bachelors degree programme ‘Translation / Interpretation”" und "where I can learn the finnish language" --> Du wiederholst Dich

"british english / american english" --> das erste english weg

"Thank you very much for your considering my request." das "your" raus

Wer bekommt den Brief eigentlich, dass der in Englisch sein soll? Ich war auch 8 Monate in Finnland, in Jyväskylä, war 'ne super Zeit, wird Dir ganz sicher gefallen. Und auf jeden Fall 'ne super Gelegenheit Englisch zu sprechen.

Viele Sachen sind auch Gefühl, würden sicher andere Leute auch anders sehen und Gewähr kann ich Dir auch keine geben, da mein Englisch auch kaum mit Muttersprachlern erworben wurde. Also seh es einfach als Vorschläge! Viel Erfolg mit Deiner Bewerbung!

DenniSkysurfer · Anmeldungsdatum: 29.01.2008 Beiträge: 2

Hallo!
Ich bewerbe mich an einer FH in Bad Honnef für Hotelmanagementund wolte fragen, ob vielleicht auch jemand einen Blick auf meinen LoM werfen kann?

Das wäre ganz toll, weil ich mir immer noch nich sicher bin der so ok is. Wahrscheinlich strotz er nur so vor fehlern.

Danke schonmal!
Dennis

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir or Madam,

My wish to work in the hotel industry arose during my internship in a five star hotel in my hometown Hamburg where I worked for one month. Since recieving my A-Level in 2007 I visited many universities in Germany and abroad to get a better look into hotelmanagement bachelor-programs.

The fact that I majored in Englisch, German and geograpghy gives me the opportunity to have a perfect entrance into a hotelmanagement study-program. Englisch was important to obtain proficient Englisch skills. Because of the German major class I was able improve my general education and my feel for the German language. Last but not least was geography very helpful to gain knowledge about the industreis of foreign countries.

After I have visited the FH in Bad Honnef on December 7, I was sure that the FH Bad Honnef totally meets my expactations of a private university. Especially decisive for me is the wide range of offered languages and the large number of oppurtunities to gain experiende acquired in foreign countries through internships and semesters abroad. Considering that almost all lecturers already worked or are still working in the indsutry , the FH Bad Honnef offers a good cmpromise between hands-on training and management is the perfect preparation for the hotel indsutry.

The much smaller classes in private universities such as the FH Bad Honnef supply that the lecturer can better concentrate on each of the students and can therefore provide a more effective work climate. Moreover is the contact to the industry and the big network of former and successful students an advantage and very useful to find internships.

I want to study hotelmanagement so that I can intigrate my talents in my later job, e.g. My creativity, my reliability, my ambition, friendlyness and my helpfulness.
I am also intersted in traveling abroad and get to know foreign countries. I have been on holiday in Miami, Dubai and Hawaii, experienced different cultures and stayed in many different hotels around the world, where I had optimal oppoprtunities to look into the hotel business. I experienced hotels as a guest and as a staff member.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I am looking forward for hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,
Dennis XXXXXX

Ukkat · Gast

"Dear Sir or Madam,

My wish to work in the hotel industry arose during my internship in a five star hotel in my hometown Hamburg where I worked for one month. Since recieving my A-Levels in 2007 I visited many universities in Germany and abroad to get a better overview ( Auf jeden fall nicht look ) into hotelmanagement bachelor-programs.

The fact that I majored in English, German and geograpghy gives me the opportunity to have a perfect entrance into a hotelmanagement study-program. English was important to obtain proficient Englisch skills ( wer sagt das? klingt nicht gerade, als wärst du der Meinung ). Because of the German major class I was able to improve my general education and my feel ( da würde im Deutschen jetzt nen Ausdrucksfehler dahinter stehen ) for the German language. Last but not least was geography very helpful to gain knowledge about the industries of foreign countries.

After I have visited the FH ( ein deutscher Begriff, der englischsprachigen Menschen nichts sagt ) in Bad Honnef on December 7, I was sure that the FH Bad Honnef totally meets my expactations of a private university. Especially decisive for me was the wide range of offered languages and the large number of oppurtunities to gain experience acquired in foreign countries through internships and semesters abroad. Considering that almost all lecturers already worked or are still working in the indsutry , the FH Bad Honnef offers a good compromise between hands-on training and management is the perfect preparation for the hotel indsutry.

The much smaller classes in private universities such as the FH Bad Honnef supply that the lecturer can better concentrate on each of the students and can therefore provide a more effective work climate. Moreover is the contact to the industry and the big network of former and successful students an advantage and very useful to find internships.

I want to study hotelmanagement so that I can integrate my talents in my later job, e.g. my creativity, my reliability, my ambition, friendlyness and my helpfulness.
I am also intersted in travelling abroad and get to know foreign countries. I have been on holiday in Miami, Dubai and Hawaii, experienced different cultures and stayed in many different hotels around the world, where I had optimal oppoprtunities to look into the hotel business. I experienced hotels as a guest and as a staff member.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I am looking forward for hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,
Dennis XXXXXX"

also als erstes mal: mach die ganzen XXXX da weg...wie informal ist das denn...

ansonsten ist das erstmal ok soweit.

noch ne kleine Anmerkung:
versuch nicht soviele lange geschachtelte Sätze zu schreiben. im Deutschen ist das vielleicht normal, aber im englischsprachigen gehts eher um kurze Sätze...

und wegen deinem travelling abroad.
Es ist glaub ich nicht wichtig, wo du letztlich gewesen bist, denn die Orte klingen so, als würdest du Luxus vorziehen...

und dann noch so ne anmerkung, die ich vielleicht als Lesender der Bewerbung haben würdest:
Welche SPrachen kannst du noch?
Englisch und Deutsch gut zu können ist ja heute nichts aussergewöhnliches mehr ( leider ).

Hoffe ich konnt dir helfen.

DenniSkysurfer · Anmeldungsdatum: 29.01.2008 Beiträge: 2

Hey! Ja du hast mir sehr geholfen! Vielen Dank!

Die X stehen da nur weil ich nicht meinen Nachnamen ins Forum schreinen wollte, das schicke ich so natürlich nicht ab.

Ansonsten danke nochmal!
Dennis

Ukkat · Gast

achso....ich dachte schon

im englischen kannst du ja auch "XXX" für Kisses schreiben.

Freeclimber · Anmeldungsdatum: 03.03.2008 Beiträge: 1

Wie wird so ein Letter of Motivation überhaupt aufgebaut?
Wie ein normaler Brief mit Absender, Empfänger, Betreff usw???

oasis1991 · Anmeldungsdatum: 27.10.2008 Beiträge: 1 Wohnort: chemnitz

Wäre bitte jmd. so lieb und würde sich das durchlesen und am besten gleich bei fehlern korrigieren....
ist für ein freiwilligendienst im ausland nächstes jahr- öktoourismus oder gemeindeentwicklung in indien oder südafrika...
danke

Dear Sir or Madame,
with this letter I would like to apply for the position as a voluntary supporting your project.
Travelling, getting to know new people and cultures and protecting the environment is an important part of my life. Besides that I could not only get to know myself better and learn for my further life, but also help people improving their living conditions and try to give them a better chance in life or to improve the environmental situation with my work in that year.
Last year I was part of a student exchange program (GAPP) between our school in Germany in Chemnitz ( Karl- Schmidt- Rottluff- Gymnasium) and a school in the US in Salt Lake City (Judge- Memorial-Catholic High School). With that exchange I got to know a lot about myself and learned how to deal with new situations and how to adapt to a new culture and so I became very flexible and open-minded.
Right now I am attending the Karl Schmidt Rottluff Gymnasium (High School) in 12th grade and in this year I will do my A-levels. My advanced courses are German and English which helped me to improve my communication and writing skills and with passing the Cambridge First Certificate I´m also able to communicate in English very well. Furthermore I have a basic knowledge in French and Russian and also I am very interested in Geography, History, Political Studies, Arts and Cultural Studies.
As a part of the environmental group of our school I and my schoolmates organize many projects helping to protect the environment such as fund-raising parties like a ´´Jungle Run´´ collecting money supporting the ´´Raintime´´ project helping to protect the Rain Forests or a project with children cleaning a forest in our area.
I gained work experiences in a landscape gardening office where I was thought how to analyze soils, how to plant plants and just how theoretical methods work in practice and in a retirement home where I learned how to handle with difficult situations in caring for people. Last month I took part in a workshop called ´´Student´s Economy Days´´. There I gained an insight in the world of economy, how to guide projects and how to use the computer since I took part in a computer course which was offered there.
With this program I would like to improve my language skills, my intercultural experiences, as well as gaining experiences which can be useful for my later working life. After this year abroad I would like to start studying Tourism and Environment Management and so your project would be a great opportunity for me to gain first working experiences in that field.
Although I know that I won´t be able to make big changes in this short time, but even little steps help to make a change. I´d like to be a part of that and just give disadvantaged people a chance or help improving or protect environmental situations.
To sum up, I can say that such an occupation will help me in my personal development quite a lot and give me a chance to make a small contribution to the people and the environment during that project since I´m willing to do my best in that year.
If you are looking for a self-motivated, creative, hard-working and open-minded boy do not hesitate to contact me.
Thank you for considering my request.

Marga · Gast

Kann sich jemand auch noch meinen letter of motivation durchlesen und Verbesserungsvorschläge geben? Wäre super nett, danke schonmal.

Delmenhorst, 22nd March 2009

Letter of Motivation: International Leisure Management

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is to express my motivation for studying International Leisure Management at NHTV Breda.

In June 2009 I will pass my Abitur at Max-Planck-Gymnasium in Delmenhorst, Germany. As it is my future goal to start an international career as an event manager I would like to study as a German student in the Netherlands. In my opinion there are many positive aspects for studying in a foreign country, as this experience supports one’s independence, autonomy and flexibility. These characteristics are fundamental in today’s working environment. In addition, you get the chance to learn a new language, which is also highly important in times of globalisation. In order to increase my knowledge of the Dutch language I am attending a course at an adult education centre at the moment. In studying in the Netherlands I see the chance to meet new people with a multicultural background, which is highly interesting to me.

As I have always been interested in languages I chose to attend the bilingual class from year 7 to year 11 at my school. During this time I was taught several subjects in English, for instance Biology, Politics and History, which improved my vocabulary in different semantic fields. I also had the possibility to take part in a three-week student exchange with Toledo, Ohio (USA). This international experience strengthened my English skills and additionally encouraged me to live and study abroad. Furthermore, I took part in a preparatory class for the Cambridge First English Certificate which I passed in June 2006.

The job of an event manager has fascinated me for a few years, as I like the idea of a creative, project-based and diverse everyday working life. I am eager to learn about developing and organising public and corporate events, conferences, fairs and exhibitions. NHTV seems to be the perfect place to study International Leisure Management as your school shows a strong international orientation. I like the idea of working in an international team and achieving a common goal. The opportunity of a six-month internship abroad is the perfect possibility to translate knowledge into practical applications. In addition the combination of lectures, courses and projects in your study programme appeals to me very much, as the practice-oriented and project-based programme suits excellent to my problem-solving attitude and result-orientated behaviour. The opportunity to match my personal interests to one of the four specialisations sounds very positive and convincing to me. I also appreciate the informal atmosphere between staff and students on campus, which I was able to experience during my visit on the orientation day in February this year. There I had also the opportunity to gain insight into the real-life case studies offered at your school, which appealed to me very much.

Due to my interest for your study program I am sure I will be able to accomplish the challenge of studying at your school.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Marga XXXXXXXX

Yersinia · Anmeldungsdatum: 14.11.2009 Beiträge: 1

Hi Leute
ich muss einen Letter of motivation verfassen für die Bewrbung auf eine PhD Stelle. Bis jetzt habe ich versucht alles alleine zu schreiben. Da mir diese Stelle jedoch sehr wichtig ist, wollte ich ihn hier reinstellen, vielleicht hat ja jemand von Euch Zeit und Lust mal drüber zu schauen und mir ein paar Tips zu geben.

Dear Prof. Dr. xxx,

I graduated in Biology at the University of Bonn in the Institute of Microbiology and Biotechnology. During my time at the university, I came into contact with the fascination of microbiology and molecular biology. I am very interested in this field of studies and would like to continue my involvement in recent scientific research within the scope of a PhD position.

My grade finished with my diploma work (???? kann man das so schreiben?), for which I submitted the related diploma thesis in the end of August 2009. The aim of the thesis was the heterologuous expression of the two biosynthetic genes of Nε-acetyl-β-lysine (NAβL), a compatible solute from the mathanogenic archaea Methanosarcina mazei Gö1, in E. coli BL21 and several Halomonas elongata strains for constructing a production strain of this solute. The two genes were cloned into vectors with either salt or IPTG-inducible promoters, therewith different expression systems can be compared.

During this time I dealt with a variety of methods. For the molecular part, I utilized the standard molecular methods like PCR, the enzymatic modification of DNA (e. g. hydrolysis, ligation) and gene transfer into procaryotic cells (transformation and conjugation). To verify NAβL I used the analytical method HPLC (isocratic HPLC and FMOC-HPLC). To optimize the synthesis of NAβL in these strains, I carried out experiments with variable growth conditions (salinity, point of time of induction/harvest, supplementation with L-lysine) to achieve an applicable production strain. The protein expression of the biosynthetic enzymes of NAβL, α-lysine-2,3- aminomutase and β-lysine Acetyltransferase was analyzed with the sodium dodecyl sulfate polyacrylamid-gelelektrophoresis.

To widen my experience, I would prefer to re-adjust my subject of research. Thus I would like to extend my already substantial experience that is based on previous courses in biochemistry, molecular and microbiology as well as on my thesis. In my opinion the topic of the PhD thesis is promising and significant and I think that it is quite important to have a deeper investigation in the association between different mechanisms that provoke the formation of resistance or the reinforcement of virulence.

At the University of Bonn I gave a speech within the scope of a seminar about resistance of antibiotica with the topic “Yersinia pestis”. Subsequently I completed a related work in the laboratory with “multiresistent Staphylococcus aureus”.

My practical and theoretical knowledge of microbiology, molecular biology and biochemistry and my basic experience with resistance of microorganisms and their factors of virulence can be helpful to bring this PhD thesis to a prosperous achievement (vielleicht besser: for beginning the PhD thesis???).

Furthermore my assignment as a student assistant at the University and the German Press Council taught me team spirit, flexibility and confidence. At the Institute of Microbiology and Biotechnology I led tutorials to prepare students for the microbiological course who later did practical work in the laboratory under my supervision. My responsibilities at the German Press Council were to publish the press review and to act as a contact person for discussions with international guests during exhibitions. Therefore I have the practical and analytical ability to find solutions independently and to deal with new methods as well as to apply well-known ones, which is essential for scientific work as well as for this project.

I would be very glad to be a part of your institute and am looking forward to meeting you in person for an in-depth interview. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to point out my motivation and ideas for the project personally.

Best regards,
xxx