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Motivation essay nach Maastricht. Bitte um Korrektur!
 
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dagnarus



Anmeldungsdatum: 10.07.2015
Beiträge: 2

BeitragVerfasst am: 10. Jul 2015 17:24    Titel: Motivation essay nach Maastricht. Bitte um Korrektur! Antworten mit Zitat

Hallo zusammen!

Möchte mich gerne im Maastricht bewerben und bin mich nicht ganz sicher, ob mein LoM gut genug aussieht.. Es wäre Super wenn einer Zeit finden könnte es anzuschauen und eventuell auch zu korrigieren.. smile

Vielen Dank vorzeitig! smile

--------------------

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Alexander Diener and I would like to apply as a graduate student for your master programme of "Artificial Intelligence" starting in September 2015 at Maastricht University.

Since my youth I was always curious in solving logical questions and I have always been the winner of mathematical academic competitions in secondary school. At the same time I was deeply intrigued by the growing state of technological development in particular the field of AI and space technologies. Since my father is a programmer, I have always had the wish to become a programmer, too.

After I received my baccalaureate with very good average grades, I got an opportunity to make dual system studies to become a Bachelor of Science along with a formation as a Mathematical and Technical Software Engineer. In this study I learned about the principles of computer systems and how to overcome challenges by applying logic (primarily mathematical) to many problems, in addition to that it gave me a clear insight of many computer languages. I learned how to program in Java, Python, C++, C#, JavaScript and many other programming languages by using efficient algorithms that would allow me to create a lot of programs from basic computer games to websites and bill calculating software.

This year I had a class of Robotics and was very much excited about it. We have worked in groups and solved some essential problems of AI programming, such as motor and sensor calibration, state-machine-behaviour, embedded systems, automatic control technique, mapping possibilities, navigation and visual computing. I always had great fun by doing the exercises and after the first lessons I became a dream to be an AI Engineer.

I found out about Maastricht University from a fellow student and felt very confident that this will help me to achieve my goals and prepare myself for the working life.

Another reason for applying to Maastricht University is that I would like to study abroad in order to get to know students from foreign countries with other cultural backgrounds. My opinion is that it is very important to learn more about foreign cultures and mentalities to understand global developments. For myself, I got a lot of multicultural experiences after I moved to Germany from Russia 11 years ago. Since then I had many little projects, which I had to achieve in multicultural teams and it’s impressive how effective such teamwork could be.

I am also very interested in the “Problem Based Learning” system of your programme, because I’m understanding the newly acquired knowledge much faster by applying it into practice. I think this system is also a good way to prepare myself for the real life problems that I will have to solve in the future. I’m able to adapt easily and quickly into new environments to work with new teams as I am responsive, open-minded and outgiving. Furthermore my unusual art of thinking and great motivation always helps me to find extraordinary and fresh new solutions for different problems.

At the same time the psychology is not anything unknown for me. My second dream was to be a psychologist, because of the special interest in this subject. In my leisure time I searched for the answers of human made decisions, influence and cause of every action. Pedagogics was one of my favourite school subjects. And I think those pedagogical knowledge will be very helpful because of its close relationship to the AI development.

Learning entirely in English is my other reason to go to Maastricht University, because my English is not very fluent and with my good learning-by-doing skill, I can improve my English very fast. Nowadays English skills are very important for everyone who want to make career in any development and AI in particular.

Among other things, I have a native Russian language ability, which allows me to understand and use many interesting Russian scientific documents. A plenty of informative forum topics or videos about various scientific subjects in Russian is open for me too, so it makes me possible to have much more ideas for my own projects or projects of my team.

I will enrich the programme by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your programme.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I am looking forward for hearing from you soon.

Sincerely Yours,
Alexander Diener

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Steffen Bühler
Moderator


Anmeldungsdatum: 03.12.2013
Beiträge: 88

BeitragVerfasst am: 10. Jul 2015 17:57    Titel: Re: Motivation essay nach Maastricht. Bitte um Korrektur! Antworten mit Zitat

Willkommen im Englischboard!

Ich finde Deine Bewerbung prima, nur ein paar Flüchtigkeitsfehler sind drin:

I always had great fun when doing the exercises and after the first lessons I got a dream to be an AI Engineer.

...because I understand the newly acquired knowledge much faster...

...my unusual way of thinking...

Furthermore, psychology is not something unknown for me.

...everyone who wants to make career...

...so this makes it possible for me to have much more ideas for my own projects or projects of my team.

Viele Grüße
Steffen
dagnarus



Anmeldungsdatum: 10.07.2015
Beiträge: 2

BeitragVerfasst am: 10. Jul 2015 18:54    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

Das war schnell!! Danke!Big Laugh

"Furtermore, psychology..." passt nur nicht so ganz, weil vorherige satz auch mit Furtermore beginnt..
Vielleicht "Moreover, psychology is not anything unknown for me."? ...
Steffen Bühler
Moderator


Anmeldungsdatum: 03.12.2013
Beiträge: 88

BeitragVerfasst am: 11. Jul 2015 10:34    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

Stimmt, hab ich übersehen. Deine Version passt sehr gut.

Nur halt "something" statt "anything".

Viel Erfolg
Steffen
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