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Gast
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 Verfasst am: 29. März 2009 15:48 Titel: cover letter - seeking an internship |
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hallo zusammen, habe einen cover letter für eine initiativbewerbung auf einen praktikumsplatz geschrieben. wäre toll wenn jmd ihn korrekturlesen könnte bzw. verbesserungsvorschläge geben könnte.
die XXX sind variabel gedacht. wie man erkennen kann handelt es sich um eine bewerbung an universitsinstituten im naturwissenschaftlichen bereich.
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Date
Dear XXX
I am writing to inquire about possible internship opportunities within your department. I am a third year student, studying XXX at the University XXX. I am seeking an internship for a 2 - 3 month period during the XXX. My primary interests are in XXX and XXX. While researching opportunities in the field of XXX I read in the Bio World Expansion and Relocation Guide about the excellent reputation which the Univesity of XXX enjoys in the research sector. I explored the XXX homepage, which led me to your lab web page.
I understand that you are working with XXX and I read with great interest the paper by XXX about XXX and further abstracts of the selected publications on your homepage. Next year after my intermediate examination I am going to specialize in three sub-fields and I think an internship will help me to make my decision which one to chose.
I have a thorough background in biology, chemistry, laboratory work and I am enthusiastic about applying this background in a XXX position where I will learn from experienced scientists in a research environment. I took laboratory courses at the institute of inorganic chemistry and the institute of organic chemistry at the University XXX and laboratory courses in biochemistry and molecular biology at the XXX Laboratories. In 2006 I completed an internship at the University XXX
I feel that with my ambitions this internship would provide me with the ideal opportunity to assist at your intitutions goals and to expand my own skills. A different environment like this will inspire me, help me enlarging my scientific skills and broaden my mind . This is why I am trying to explore the world and find an internship in XXX. Should you have any questions before, you may reach me via phone XXX or via email XXX.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
XXX |
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Gast
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| Verfasst am: 31. März 2009 11:42 Titel: Re: cover letter - seeking an internship |
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Insgesamt meiner Meinung nach sehr gut und auch verständlich. Ein paar Kleinigkeiten sind mir im letzten Teil aufgefallen - ansonsten habe ich hoffentlich natürlich nichts Grobes übersehen.
Gruß
MI
| Anonymous hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Dear XXX
I am writing to inquire about possible internship opportunities within your department. I am a third year student, studying XXX at the University XXX. I am seeking an internship for a 2 - 3 month period during the XXX. My primary interests are in XXX and XXX. While researching opportunities in the field of XXX I read in the Bio World Expansion and Relocation Guide about the excellent reputation which the Univesity of XXX enjoys in the research sector. I explored the XXX homepage, which led me to your lab web page.
I understand that you are working with XXX and I read with great interest the paper by XXX about XXX and further abstracts of the selected publications on your homepage. Next year after my intermediate examination I am going to specialize in one of three sub-fields and I think an internship will help me to make my decision which one to chose.
I have a thorough background in biology, chemistry, laboratory work and I am enthusiastic about applying this background in a XXX position where I will learn from experienced scientists in a research environment. I took laboratory courses at the institute of inorganic chemistry and the institute of organic chemistry at the University XXX and laboratory courses in biochemistry and molecular biology at the XXX Laboratories. In 2006 I completed an internship at the University XXX
I feel that with my ambitions/qualifications this internship would provide me with the ideal opportunity to assist at your intitution's goals and to expand my own skills. Es hängt natürlich von dem ab, was du sagen willst, aber ich persönlich fände "qualifications" irgendwie besser. A different environment like this will inspire me, help me enlarging my scientific skills and broaden my mind. Enlarging erscheint mir nicht ganz so schön - wie wäre es z.B. mit "deepen"? This is why I am trying to explore the world and find an internship in XXX. Der Sinn des ersten Satzteils entfällt mir etwas - grammatisch ist das natürlich klar, aber was bezweckst du damit in dem Zusammenhang? Should you have any further questions, you may reach me via phone XXX or via email XXX. Das "before" ist mir nicht so ganz klar.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
XXX |
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Gast
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| Verfasst am: 01. Apr 2009 16:39 Titel: Re: cover letter - seeking an internship |
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Noch 3 Dinge...
| Anonymous hat Folgendes geschrieben: | Date
Dear XXX
I am writing to inquire about possible internship opportunities within your department. I am a third year student, studying XXX at the University XXX. I am seeking an internship for a 2 - 3 months period during the XXX. My primary interests are in XXX and XXX. While researching opportunities was soll das heißen? in the field of XXX I read in the Bio World Expansion and Relocation Guide about the excellent reputation which the Univesity of XXX enjoys in the research sector. I explored the XXX homepage, which led me to your lab web page.
I understand that you are working with XXX and I read with great interest the paper by XXX about XXX and further abstracts of the selected publications on your homepage. Next year after my intermediate examination I am going to specialize in three sub-fields and I think an internship will help me to make my decision which one to chose.
I have a thorough background in biology, chemistry, laboratory work and I am enthusiastic about applying this background in a XXX position where I will learn from experienced scientists in a research environment. I took laboratory courses at the institute of inorganic chemistry and the institute of organic chemistry at the University XXX and laboratory courses in biochemistry and molecular biology at the XXX Laboratories. In 2006 I completed an internship at the University XXX
I feel that with my ambitions this internship would provide me with the ideal opportunity to assist at your intitutions goals and to expand my own skills. A different environment like this will inspire me, help me enlarging my scientific skills and broaden my mind . This is why I am trying to explore the world and find an internship in XXX. Should you have any questions before, you may reach me via phone XXX or via email XXX.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
XXX |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 03. Apr 2009 10:23 Titel: |
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Dein erster Punkt würde mich mal interessieren.
Meiner Meinung nach ginge sowohl "2-3 month period", als auch "2-3 months period", wobei das erste geläufiger ist. Google gäbe mir da Recht, aber das heißt ja nicht viel.
Zum zweiten Punkt: Vermutlich ist gemeint "While informing myself about opportunities..." aber du hast Recht, so ist's seltsam.
Gruß
MI |
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Jack
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 09.04.2006
Beiträge: 549
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| Verfasst am: 03. Apr 2009 12:03 Titel: |
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Die Frage ist, ob man "a period" überhaupt braucht, denn "for 2-3 months" wäre richtig und das ganz ohne Zweifel. 
Wenn man es dennoch verwenden will, hätte ich eher zu "a period of 2-3 months" tendiert. |
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Gast
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| Verfasst am: 03. Apr 2009 15:01 Titel: |
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Jacks Version ist noch viel besser. Nehmen wir die |
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Gast
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| Verfasst am: 06. Apr 2009 17:29 Titel: |
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danke für eure hilfe! letzter absatz wurde überarbeitet.
With my ambitions, I feel that I would be able to greatly help your work group achieve its goals - as for me, I feel that it would be a great opportunity to further improve and expand my skills. A different environment like this will inspire me, help me to improve my scientific skills and broaden my mind. This is why I am trying to explore the world and find an internship in the United States. Should you have any further questions, you may reach me via phone XXX or via email XXX.
ambitions drückt schon richtig aus was ich sagen will - da sind nur qualifizierte leute.
"further" gefällt mir
"for a 2 - 3 month period" sowie "I look forward to hearing from you." ist sicher richtig.
"While researching opportunities..." wollt ich sowas sagen wie: Als ich mich in dem und dem Feld umgesehn habe bzw. darüber informiert habe. Find jetzt auch das es komisch klingt werde es so wie von MI vorgeschlagen ändern. |
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Gast
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| Verfasst am: 06. Apr 2009 19:18 Titel: |
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| Anonymous hat Folgendes geschrieben: | | ambitions drückt schon richtig aus was ich sagen will - da sind nur qualifizierte leute. |
Hä?? |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 06. Apr 2009 21:26 Titel: |
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Oder anders gefragt: "ambitions" bedeutet "Ehrgeiz" - wolltest du wirklich das aussagen? Was hat das mit "da sind nur qualifizierte Leute" zu tun?
Gruß
MI |
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Gast
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| Verfasst am: 06. Apr 2009 21:36 Titel: |
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genügend qualifiziert um da zu arbeiten bin nicht nur ich...ab nem bestimmten zeitpunkt haben viele leute das selbe level erreicht. wollte damit aussagen dass ich es "wirklich" will. passt schon so |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 08. Apr 2009 10:10 Titel: |
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Wenn du das so meinst, okay.
Ansonsten ist mir nichts mehr aufgefallen. |
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