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rikner
Anmeldungsdatum: 27.01.2009
Beiträge: 1
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 Verfasst am: 28. Jan 2009 18:17 Titel: Letter of Motivation |
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Hallo Leute,bin grad im 3. Semester Informations- und Medientechnik an der BTU Cottbus.Möchte für ein Semester ins Ausland nach Växjö/Schweden.Dies ist mein Letter of Motivation dazu. Hatte 2 Jahre kein Englisch-Unterricht, also vllt. kann ja mal jemand drüberschauen und noch ein paar Verbesserungstipps geben.
Bzgl. des Inhaltes bin ich mir noch nicht sicher, ob ich alle Sachen mit hinein nehme, besonders beim letzten Absatz. Man soll ja darstellen, warum man sich grad für dieses oder jenes Land entscheidet. Was meint ihr so dazu?
Bei folgenden Dingen bin ich mir auch nicht sicher:
- 'in comparison to' oder 'in comparison with germany' ???
- ist 'chairman' eine übertriebene bezeichnung für jemanden, der im vorstand deslokalen jugend clubs ist?
-clublife oder club-life???
DANKE IM VORRAUS!
rikner
Hier der Text:
My name is Erik *******, at the moment I'm 21 years old and I am studying information technology and media engineering at the Technical University of Cottbus (BTU).
The reason I've chosen this course of studies are my interests in matters of media, such as design and its connection to computers and modern technologies.
Before I went to the BTU I completed my education (A-Level) at the Echtermeyer-Gymnasium in Bad Liebenwerda, mady my civil service and worked for eleven weeks as a trainee at the CTH Riesa GmbH, where my major task was to build and repair PCs.
I decided to apply myself for a semester abroad, because I see this as a challenge and as a great chance to advance my personality and independence and also to improve my knowledge and experience in my studies.
Another reason for me to take a semester abroad is the opportunity to study in a new environment with different methods and of course different people. This could be a chance, to improve my own forms of learning and take something with me, which could help me in my studies, my job and other future tasks.
I'm very excited about getting to know other cultures and different types of people too.
I have a big interest in other countries and I'm also excited about living in such one for a longer period of time to get another point of view on my own country and maybe on the world in general.
My first choice of the list for the university places abroad was Sweden, because I think Sweden has lots of things to offer, which fit to my personality.
Because I am, or was a member of different groups, teams or clubs I also want to join at least one study- or working group in Växjö. In my hometown, I am both member and one of three chairmen in our local youth club. We often organize cultural events, public festivities and concerts for our community. So I'm very excited, if there could be any differences in clublife / club-life in comparison with/to Germany.
I already informed myself about the University and the town Växjö. I would expect a different collegiate life than in Cottbus, because the University has nearly twice the number of students than the BTU, at the same time Växjö has less inhabitants than Cottbus.
Because the BTU has a very famous library in Germany, I already informed myself about the Växjö University Library and it gives a very good impression to me, because there seem to be very good learning conditions.
I noticed that Sweden seems to have a different kind of music culture, which is very interesting to me, because I play drums and guitar. This country offers a lot of bands, which have international success, which is a big difference compared to Germany. I would be very curios about the relationship of Swedish people to modern music as well as about the local music scene. |
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Ukkat
Gast
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| Verfasst am: 25. Feb 2009 01:28 Titel: |
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interesting that you wanna go to Sweden.
when do you wanna go?
will go to Uppsala in August |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 26. Feb 2009 17:00 Titel: Re: Letter of Motivation |
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Ich hab mal die Dinge, die mir jetzt aufgefallen sind, angestrichen und größtenteils mit Erklärungen versehen.
Außerdem habe ich das zweite Korrekturgesuch abgespalten! Siehe nun "Letter of Motivation (SNU)".
Gruß
MI
| rikner hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
- 'in comparison to' oder 'in comparison with germany' ??? Theoretisch halte ich die zweite Version für schöner - beide sind aber häufig benutzt
- ist 'chairman' eine übertriebene bezeichnung für jemanden, der im vorstand deslokalen jugend clubs ist?
Vielleicht ist "head" schöner? "Chairman" klingt für mich wirklich ein wenig nach Business, etc.
-clublife oder club-life???
Ich würde eher zur ersten Möglichkeit tendieren - aber das Wort kenne ich nicht, von daher ist das mit äußerster Vorsicht zu genießen
DANKE IM VORRAUS!
rikner
Hier der Text:
My name is Erik *******, I am 21 years old and I am studying information technology and media engineering at the Technical University of Cottbus (BTU). Keine Kurzformen in förmlichen Briefen! Des Weiteren halte ich das "at the moment" für überflüssig
The reason I have chosen this course of studies are my interests in matters of media, such as design and its connection to computers and modern technologies.
Before I went to the BTU I completed my education (A-Levels) at the Echtermeyer-Gymnasium in Bad Liebenwerda. Afterwards I did my civil service and worked for eleven weeks as a trainee at the CTH Riesa GmbH, where my major task was to build and repair PCs. Ein Vorschlag, da der Satz seltsam subjektlos klang (was er aber nicht ist).
I decided to apply for a semester abroad, because I see this as a challenge and as a great chance to advance my personality and independence while also improving my knowledge and experience in my studies. "apply for" ohne "myself". Ansonsten ein kleiner Stilvorschlag
Another reason for me to take a semester abroad is the opportunity to study in a new environment with different methods and of course different people. This could be a chance to improve my own forms of learning and take something with me, which could help me in my studies, my job and my whole future career.
I am very excited about getting to know other cultures and different types of people, too.
I have a big interest in other countries and I am also excited about living in abroad for a longer period of time to get another point of view on my own country and maybe on the world in general.
My first choice of the list for the university places abroad was Sweden, because I think Sweden has lots of things to offer, which fit to my personality.
Because I am, or was, a member of different groups, teams or clubs I also want to join at least one study- or working group in Växjö. In my hometown, I am both member and one of three heads in our local youth club. We often organize cultural events, public festivities and concerts for our community. So I would be very excited, if there were any differences in clublife in comparison with Germany. Beachte die Bildung des if-clause!
I already informed myself about the University and the town Växjö. I would expect a different collegiate life than in Cottbus, because the University has nearly twice the number of students than the BTU, at the same time Växjö has less inhabitants than Cottbus.
Because the BTU has a very famous library in Germany, I already informed myself about the Växjö University Library and it makes a very good impression on me, because there seem to be very good learning conditions.
I noticed that Sweden seems to have a different kind of music culture, which is very interesting for me, because I play drums and guitar. This country offers a lot of bands, which have international success, which is a big difference compared to Germany. I would be very curious about the relationship of Swedish people to modern music as well as about the local music scene. |
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