Letter of motivation

Sternschnubbä · Anmeldungsdatum: 24.01.2009 Beiträge: 2

Habe einen LoM für ein Auslandspraktikum in Irland verfasst und wäre sehr dankbar für jeden Hinweis bzw. Verbesserungsvorschlag....
Sind die Zwischenüberschriften sinnvoll und übersichtlich oder eher nicht angebracht? LG

Dear Madam or Sir,

I herewith wish to state my interest for a international traineeship in Ireland.

Education and work experience

After graduation of the A-Level in June 2006, I gained solid work experience by passing a practical training in a travel agency and working in the electronic industry.
In August 2007 I started an apprenticeship as office clerk at MOTEX Logistik & Management GmbH in Hörselgau, which I am schedule to graduate in June 2010.

Personal motivation

I aspire to complete an international placement in Ireland during my job training.
I am very interested to spent time in a foreign country to become acquainted with a different business culture and mentality.
Especially Ireland attracts my attention because of its impressive countryside and famous history. I would appreciate to get the opportunity to visit it for a few weeks and get to know its people, culture and daily business life.
Furthermore I hope to educate myself on an international level and broaden my horizon in occupational as well as personal perspective.
With a previous language course I want to confirm and even improve my English to be able to support an Irish company as good as possible.

Knowledge

I set good preconditions to work in an English speaking country by choosing English as principle subject at secondary school. During the current apprenticeship as an office clerk I am getting well prepared in accountancy, business studies, data and word processing. My special interest is to work with the computer.
I am a very ambitious, reliable and open-minded person, who enjoys to get in touch with different people. My fast comprehension and the ability to integrate would be very helpful for an successful work in a team.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any futher details or documents.

Thank you very much for considering my request, I am looking forward to get an positive answer from you.

Gast

Dear Madam or Sir,

I herewith wish to state my interest for a international traineeship in Ireland.

Education and work experience

After graduation of the A-Level in June 2006, I gained solid work experience by passing a practical training in a travel agency and working in the electronic industry.
In August 2007 I started an apprenticeship as office clerk at MOTEX Logistik & Management GmbH in Hörselgau, which (bin nicht sicher ob "I graduate an apprenticeship" wirklich get, deshalb würde ich which streichen)I am scheduled to graduate in June 2010.

Personal motivation

I aspire to complete an international placement in Ireland during my job training.
I am very interested to spent(d statt t: spend) time in a foreign country to become acquainted with a different business culture and mentality.
Especially Ireland attracts my attention because of its impressive countryside and famous history. I would appreciate to get the opportunity to visit it for a few weeks and get to know its people, culture and daily business life.
Furthermore I hope to educate myself on an international level and broaden my horizon in occupational as well as personal perspective.
With a previous language course I want to confirm and even (even = sogar, klingt hier etwas protzig) improve my English to be able to support an Irish company as good as possible.

Knowledge

I set good preconditions to work in an English speaking country by choosing English as principle subject at secondary school. During the current apprenticeship as an office clerk I am getting well prepared in accountancy, business studies, data and word processing. My special interest is to work with the computer (computers (ohne "the" und Plural) klingt besser, imho).
I am a very ambitious, reliable and open-minded person, who enjoys to get in touch with different people. My fast comprehension and the ability to integrate would be very helpful for an - kein Artikel nötig und wenn schon, dann ohne "n" successful work in a team.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any futher details or documents.

Thank you very much for considering my request, I am looking forward to get an ("n" weglassen, "an" benutzt man nur vor Vokalen (a, e, i, o, u)positive answer from you.