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Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 03. Jul 2005 18:00    Titel: Bitte um Korrektur! Antworten mit Zitat

Hi,

kann mir bitte jemand diesen text korrigieren?! Macht nichts, wenn es nicht 100prozentig stimmt!

Bear prefers pop-corn!

"At first it was terrible but in the End it was funny", a woman said to a newspaper reporter.
On the city celebration, which took place in Kassel, a lot of people feeled the same.
They went there to have fun and they exspected a funny evening.
Parents took their kids with them because of the carousels but because of the circus, too. These year, it is a big sensation, because the artists want to entrance with a real brown bear. Something like that hadn´t been taken in the past. But the circuspeople (und jetzt brauch ich die vergangenheit von must?) change their programm because the audience don´t want to see animals like hares ore something like them.
The kids often ask their parents when the performance is going to begin.
While people are talking with other ones, are eating and drinking, a girl come and say: " I had to warn you, because the brown bear is lost!"
Then the police is called. A voice through the loadspeakers orders, that all people should leave the place because the police must catch the bear. But at the same moment the big animal is seen. The people are so shocked, that they can´t do or say enything. Nobody make a move. The animal looks dangerous and hungry.
"I thought he would attack a person", a man said. Some people cry. The bear walks through the people but what are he going to do?
The police arrive. They want to stop the bear. But the bear has finding what he was saerching for: He stands in front of a cabin and eats pop-corn!Of course, he likes pop-corn!
All the people are relieved. That city celebration will they nerver forget!

Bitte verbessert mir die fehler, die ihr seht! LG
Ulli
Ehrenmoderator


Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389

BeitragVerfasst am: 04. Jul 2005 17:39    Titel: Korrekturvorschlag Antworten mit Zitat

Hier mein Korrekturvorschlag dazu, No Name smile


Bears
prefer pop-corn

"At first it was terrible but in the end it was funny", a woman said to a newspaper reporter.
On the city celebration, which took place in Kassel, a lot of people felt the same.
They went there to have fun and they expected a funny evening.
Parents took their kids with them because of the carousels and also of of the circus too. These year it is a big sensation because the artists want to entrance with a real brown bear. Something like that hasn´t been happened in the past. But the staff of the circus p(und jetzt brauch ich die vergangenheit von must?) had to change their programm because the audience didn´t want to see animals like hares ore something similar.
The kids often asked their parents when the performance would begin.
While people were talking with other ones, were eating and drinking, a girl came and said: " I have to warn you, because the brown bear has disappeared!"
Then the police was called. A voice through the loadspeakers instructed, that all people should leave the place because the police had to catch the bear. But at the same moment the big animal was seen. The people were so shocked, that they were not able do or say anything. Nobody made a move. The animal looked dangerous and hungry.
"I thought he would attack a person", a man said. Some people cried. The bear walked through the crowd but what was he going to do?
The police arrived. They wanted to stop the bear. But the bear had found what he had been searching for: He stood in front of a cabin and ate pop-corn .Of course he likes pop-corn.
All the people felt relieved. That city celebration will be never forgotten!

Tipp: Übe bei www.ego4u.de Grammatik Augenzwinkern Wink

_________________
LG Ulli

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Spanish proverb
no name
Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 04. Jul 2005 18:41    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

super klasse!

Vielen Big Laugh Prost , vielen, vielen Dank!
Ulli
Ehrenmoderator


Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389

BeitragVerfasst am: 04. Jul 2005 20:28    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

no name hat Folgendes geschrieben:
super klasse!

Vielen Big Laugh Prost , vielen, vielen Dank!



Hi no name, smile
vielen Dank für dein liebes Feedback. Gern geschehen Augenzwinkern - aber ohne Gewähr Big Laugh Augenzwinkern .

_________________
LG Ulli

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Spanish proverb
me
Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 29. Jul 2005 10:32    Titel: Re: Korrekturvorschlag Antworten mit Zitat

Ulli hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Hier mein Korrekturvorschlag dazu, No Name smile


Bears
prefer pop-corn

"At first it was terrible but in the end it was funny", a woman said to a newspaper reporter.
On the city celebration, which took place in Kassel, a lot of people felt the same.
They went there to have fun and they expected a funny evening.
Parents took their kids with them because of the carousels and also of of the circus too. These year it is a big sensation because the artists want to entrance with a real brown bear. Something like that hasn´t ever been happened in the past. But the staff of the circus p(und jetzt brauch ich die vergangenheit von must?) had to change their programm because the audience didn´t want to see animals like hares ore something similar.
The kids often asked their parents when if the performance would begin.
While people were talking with other ones each other, were eating and drinking, a girl came and said: " I have to warn you, because the brown bear has disappeared!"
Then the police was called. A voice through the loadspeakers instructed, that all people to should leave the place because the police had to catch the bear. But at the same moment the big animal was seen. The people were so shocked, that they were not able do or to say anything. Nobody made a move. The animal looked dangerous and hungry.
"I thought he would attack a person", a man said. Some people cried. The bear walked through the crowd but what was he going to do?
The police arrived. They wanted to stop the bear. But the bear had found what he had been searching for: He stood in front of a cabin and ate pop-corn .Of course he likes pop-corn.
All the people felt relieved. That city celebration will be never forgotten!



soll ganz und gar keine kritik sein. aber ich denke ich hab noch ein paar fehlerchen gefunden, weil mir grad so langweilig war LOL Hammer

liebe grüße
me nochmal
Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 29. Jul 2005 10:35    Titel: Re: Korrekturvorschlag Antworten mit Zitat

me hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Ulli hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Hier mein Korrekturvorschlag dazu, No Name smile


Bears
prefer pop-corn

"At first it was terrible but in the end it was funny", a woman said to a newspaper reporter.
On the city celebration, which took place in Kassel, a lot of people felt the same.
They went there to have fun and they expected a funny evening.
Parents took their kids with them because of the carousels and also of of the circus too. These year it is a big sensation because the artists want to entrance with a real brown bear. Something like that hasn´t ever been happened in the past. But the staff of the circus p(und jetzt brauch ich die vergangenheit von must?) had to change their programm because the audience didn´t want to see animals like hares ore something similar.
The kids often asked their parents when if the performance would begin.
While people were talking with other ones each other, were eating and drinking, a girl came and said: " I have to warn you, because the brown bear has disappeared!"
Then the police was called. A voice through the loadspeakers instructed, that all people [color=red]to [/color]should leave the place because the police had to catch the bear. But at the same moment the big animal was seen. The people were so shocked, that they were not able do or to say anything. Nobody made a move. The animal looked dangerous and hungry.
"I thought he would attack a person", a man said. Some people cried. The bear walked through the crowd but what was he going to do?
The police arrived. They wanted to stop the bear. But the bear had found what he had been searching for: He stood in front of a cabin and ate pop-corn .Of course he likes pop-corn.
All the people felt relieved. That city celebration will be never forgotten!



soll ganz und gar keine kritik sein. aber ich denke ich hab noch ein paar fehlerchen gefunden, weil mir grad so langweilig war LOL Hammer

liebe grüße
easybor
Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 24. Nov 2005 21:13    Titel: Noch ein kleiner fehler=) Antworten mit Zitat

This year it is a big sensation because the artists want to entrance with a real brown bear.
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