Korrektur meines Textes über Vegetarians :)

ari86 · Anmeldungsdatum: 20.02.2013 Beiträge: 1

Meine Frage:
Hello! Ich habe einen Text über Vegetarier geschrieben,und bin sicher dass da einige Fehler zu finden sind. Kann bitte eine mit Englisch vertraute Person, kurz einen Blick drüber werfen?

According to the public opinion are vegetarians leading a healthier lifestyle as the non-vegetarians or the meat-eaters. It's a fact in some cases. But like for the most things in life are there advantages and disadvantages. Vegetarians are living only on herbal products, and there are indeed advantages. Hardly anybody of the vegetarians have weight problems or suffers from high blood pressure, that results from meat consumption. But the abandonment of meat products may also cause deficiency signs that can be prevented with a balanced vegetarian diet. So you can live on an healthy or unhealthy vegetarian diet. A vegetarians challenge is it to make up a diet that provides his body with essentials. So are plant products just one menu part of the all-eating human being, of which forefathers eaten meat for million for years.
You should also consider,that vegetables, fruits, nuts, etc. not cheap are. The diet of a vegetarian is as more expensive as the diet of a person, who consumes meat. I personally believe that the effort and the costs of a vegetarian life will pay off. As well in respect of mercy for the own body and improvement of own health, as also of protection of the environment.
Every kilogram of meat need about ten times more of wheat or soya which are feeded to a pig or cattle to be produced. Also it needs hundred litres of water. The farm animals produce also exhaust gases. With those one kilogram meat only one person will be replete. The concentrate of a farm animal, which is need to produce one kilogram meat, could be used to sate ten people. Even if you can't firmly eat the concentrate, you could use the agricultural are to produce plant products for human beings. It's more efficient if you want to feed the humanity and not the farm animals or make the capitalists of the meat market even more richer.
In my opinion are the vegetarians leading healthier lives as the meat-eating persons and they are better to the environment.

Meine Ideen:
Bitte kritisiert mich nicht so heftig wegen dem Inhalt, es geht hier um das Üben der englischen Sprache. Augenzwinkern

korrektur · Gast

Einen kleinen Fehler habe ich schon gefunden.

Ich würde das so schreiben:

Hardly anybody of the vegetarians have weight problems or suffers from high blood pressure, that results from meat consumption.

Hardly no one of the vegetarians has weight problems or suffers from high blood pressure, that results from meat consumption.

Every kilogram of meat needs about ten times more of wheat or soya which are feeded to a pig or cattle to be produced.

gastFeb · Gast

Dein Text enthält viele Grammatik- und Ausdrucksfehler. Du solltest ihn noch einmal gründlich überarbeiten. Besprich ihn mit jemandem, der gut ist in Englisch.
Achte v.a. auf den Satzbau. (S-P-O)
Vllt. findet sich jemand, der die Zeit hat, ihn näher anzusehen.