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Splinter
Anmeldungsdatum: 11.02.2007
Beiträge: 2
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 Verfasst am: 11. Feb 2007 12:37 Titel: textkorrektur |
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Ich muss ein Referat über das holstentor halten ,
könntet ihr bitte mal den Text überprüfen und verbessern , danke schonmal 
-Holstentor History-
The Holstentor was built by Hinrich Helmstede between 1464 and 1478.
The Holstentor was built because the fortifications should be improved on the Traveseite.
In the Holstentor there were 30 cannons but they have never been used .
The ground on the Holstentor was built didn't again-stand long the weight
-already during the construction works, the South-tower sank
a Today,
The Holstenter is half meter below the Earth's surface.
The development of the war technology let the Holstentor
fast outdated.
In the 16. Century was therefore built a pre-gate.
The pre-gate was 15m before the Holstentor,
The pre-gate was torn down 1853 because the city Lübeck build a railway station there.
The railway station stood there until 1908.
In the year 1863, the citizen was against the tear off the Holstentor
The Holstentor restoring shortly after the vote.
The inscription "indoors harmony - outdoors peace" has been there since 1863.
Previously, it was called „Inside unity - outside peace "
In 1871, another inscription was installed,
that the letters S.P.Q.L contains.
These meant: Senate and people of Lübeck.
Today, the Holstentor is well known, bases for it are :
The Holstentor became the landmark of Lübeck
Marzipan-manufacturers and other companies in Lübeck picked it as trademarks
-It was on stamps ,
-on the 50-mark note,
-and on the 2 Euro coin.
-Holstentor Museum -
The Holstentor serves as a town historical museum since 1950. Finds from old Lübeck are presented, a development of the medieval Lübeck represented in models and pictures and models of the ships issued to the Hanseatic League. Historically, this museum was not exact either. So it also contained a torture chamber with a dungeon, a stretching bank and further torture equipment. However, such a one had never been in the Holstentor in truth.
The two monumental statues of lions made of iron lying in the plant formed by Harry Maasz in front of the Holstentor were created by Christian Daniel Rauch. The bronze statue of an antelope of the sculptor Fritz Behn suitably stands on the other side of the street.
The Holstentormuseum was modernized in 2002. Not only the torture chamber was removed but all rooms equipped according to a new concept which contained the inclusion of picture and clay documents. The management of the museum is located at the culture foundation Hanseatic town Lübeck as of 2006. |
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MI
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Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 11. Feb 2007 18:21 Titel: Re: textkorrektur |
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| Splinter hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
-Holstentor History-
The Holstentor was built by Hinrich Helmstede between 1464 and 1478.
The Holstentor was built because the fortifications should be improved on the Traveseite.
In the Holstentor there were 30 cannons but they have never been used .
The ground which the Holstentor was built on ohne relative Satzstruktur gibt's keinen Sinn didn't withstand the weight very long 1. never separate a verb and its object. 2.: "again-stand" gibt's leider nicht. Eine Möglichkeit wäre "to withstand sth.".
- during the construction works, the South-tower sank already
a Today,
The Holstentor has sunk half a metre into the ground die ursprüngliche Konstruktion gefällt mir irgendwie nicht.
The development of war technology made the Holstentor obsolete very fast "to be outdated"=altmodisch sein passt hier nicht so gut wie "to be obsolete"=überflüssig sein. Und dann solltest du das "very fast" hinter das Verb stellen. Außerdem würde ich keinen Artikel vor "war technology" stellen, weil du ja Kriegstechnologie im Ganzen meinst.
Therefore, a pre-gate was built during the sixteenth century Satzstellung! Das ist ein ziemliches Kuddelmuddel.
The pre-gate was positioned 15m before the Holstentor "was" was? "positioned" ist da schon besser - aber auch nicht besonders elegant.,
The pre-gate was torn down 1853 because the city of Lübeck built a railway station there.
The railway station stood there until 1908 nicht elegant, aber auf die Schnelle fällt mir nichts wirklich elegantes ein....
In 1863, the citizens were against the tear-off of the Holstentor. Das "tear-off" würde ich durch ein anderes Wort ersetzen, weil sich "off of" nicht gut anhört. Ist aber ansonsten ein passendes Wort.
The Holstentor was restored shortly after the vote. Warum eine nicht existente Präsensform?
The inscription "indoors harmony - outdoors peace" has been there since 1863. auch nicht schön...
Previously, it read „Inside unity - outside peace " "it was called" heißt: es wurde genannt. Du willst aber sagen, dass es dort vorher geschrieben stand.
In 1871, another inscription was installed that contains the letters S.P.Q.L. STVO!
These meant: Senate and people of Lübeck. (Inhaltlich solltest du vielleicht sagen, dass die Lübecker sich das von Rom abgeguckt haben  )
Today, the Holstentor is well known, because of the following points:
The Holstentor became the landmark of Lübeck
Marzipan-manufacturers and other companies in Lübeck picked it as trademarks
-It is on stamps , Hey, die Briefmarken existieren noch
-on the 50-d-mark note,
-and on the 2 Euro coin.
-Holstentor Museum -
The Holstentor serves as a town history museum since 1950. Findings from old Lübeck are presented, the development of medieval Lübeck is presented in models and pictures and models of the ships issued to the Hanseatic League. Historically, this museum was not exact either. It also contained a torture chamber with a dungeon, a stretching bank and further torture equipment. However, such one had never been in the Holstentor in reality.
The two monumental statues of lions made of iron lying in the plant formed by Harry Maasz in front of the Holstentor were created by Christian Daniel Rauch. The bronze statue of an antelope by the sculptor Fritz Behn suitably stands on the other side of the street. Nur wenn sie dem Skulpteur noch gehören, kannst du auch "of" benutzen.
The Holstentormuseum was modernized in 2002. Not only the torture chamber was removed but all rooms equipped according to a new concept which contains the inclusion of picture and clay documents. The management of the museum is located at the culture foundation Hanseatic town Lübeck as of 2006. Das Konzept steht doch bestimmt noch immer. Den letzten Satz verstehe ich nicht. Übersetzt hieße er: Das Museumsmanagment befindet sich bei der Kulturstiftung Hansestadt Lübeck als für 2006 |
So viel von mir. Vielleicht kann jemand anderes noch mal drüberschauen...
Gruß
MI |
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Splinter
Anmeldungsdatum: 11.02.2007
Beiträge: 2
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| Verfasst am: 11. Feb 2007 19:05 Titel: |
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viel korrigiert , danke  |
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Jack
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 09.04.2006
Beiträge: 549
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| Verfasst am: 13. Feb 2007 17:14 Titel: |
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Vielleicht auch noch statt "the Holstentor" ab und zu mal Synonyme wie z.B. "the building" oder "the gate" benutzen. Sonst klingt der Vortrag etwas monoton. |
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