Korrekturlesen Bewerbungsschreiben / Cover Letter Praktikum

patsko · Anmeldungsdatum: 01.06.2005 Beiträge: 7 Wohnort: Bei Hamburg

Hi, ich moechte eine Firma in australien fuer ein Praktikum anschreiben und habe eine Bewerung geschrieben. Koenntet ihr dieses bitte Korrekturlesen? waere euch sehr sehr sehr dankbar!!!

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Application for an internship in Australia

Dear Sir or Madam,

My plans for the next month are to work and travel with the Working Holiday Visa through Australia. I will arrive in Sydney on 7th July 2005 after a stop-over in Singapore of 4 days. I intend to absolve an unpaid practical training at the beginning of my journey while I will be in Sydney. In consideration of my planned business studies after coming home to Germany it would be really interesting to have already gained some impressions of working life in Australia.

After already calling to ask with your co-worker in Germany, I now apply for that internship directly at you.

I got to know Cochlear through my litte deaf sister. She has the possibility to hear with the Cochlear-Implant for already one decade now.

Your business segment is very interesting for me, so Cochlear would be optimally dedicated for my internship. It should give me an insight in a job in the economy. My favourite career aspirations are logistics and also controlling. In my opinion a durations of perhabs between 2 and 4 weeks would be reasonable.

Due to my already started journey I am unfortunately only achievable by email and mobile phone. Because of that I am yet in Australia I am also ready to start the internship as soon as the circumstances shall permit for you.

I am looking forward to recieving a reply from you soon.

Kind regards

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Weiss jemand von euch wie die Datumsangabe in Australien geschrieben wird? hab jetzt 06/07/2005 verwendet!

Also, danke!
Patsko

Ebenso ist hier http://www.englischboard.de/ptopic,3270.html#3270 noch mein Resume, waere gut enn ihr hier auchn noch kurz reinschauen koenntet!

chibimalik · Anmeldungsdatum: 15.05.2005 Beiträge: 91 Wohnort: USA

Dear Sir or Madam,

My plans for the next month are to work and travel with the Working Holiday Visa through Australia. I will arrive in Sydney on 7th July 2005 after a 4 days' stop-over in Singapore. I intend to do an unpaid practical training at the beginning of my journey while I will be in Sydney.
(A/N: 'to absolve' heisst NICHT absolvieren sondern freisprechen oder Absolution erteilen)
In consideration of my planned business studies after returning to Germany it would be really interesting to have already gained some impressions of the working life in Australia.

After already calling to ask with your co-worker in Germany, I now apply for that internship directly at you.
('ask with' gibt es meiner meinung nach nich, was soll das heissen?)

I got to know Cochlear through my litte deaf sister. She has had the possibility to hear with the Cochlear-Implant for already one decade now.

Your business segment is very interesting for me, so Cochlear would be optimally dedicated for my internship. It should give me an insight into a job in the economy. My favourite career aspirations are logistics and also controlling. In my opinion a duration of perhaps between 2 and 4 weeks would be reasonable.

Due to my already started journey I can unfortunately only be reached by email and mobile phone. Since I am already in Australia I am ready to start the internship as soon as the circumstances shall permit for you. (das ist falsch, leider weiss ich selbst nicht so genau wie das auf Englisch richtig ist, weiß nur das es heisst: permit sb. sth.)

/edit/ vielleicht: 'as circumstances permit' or 'circumstances permitting' grübelnd

I am looking forward to receiving a reply from you soon.

____

ich bin nich so gut in Englisch und es sind wahrscheinlich noch 'n paar Fehler drin (manche Sachen hören sich sehr deutsch an z.b. dieses 'through' in 'I got to know Cochlear through my litte deaf sis...').
wär vielleicht besser wenn sich dass nochmal jemand ansieht, der 'n bisschen mehr ahnung hat als ich Hilfe