Englisch Text korrigieren, bitte? :)

Loly · Anmeldungsdatum: 16.04.2012 Beiträge: 1

Meine Frage:
Wir haben eine Klausur geschrieben und die sollen wir nun halt korrigieren, ist denn alles soweit korrekt? Danke smile

Bin neu hier und ich weiß nicht ob ich das hier alles richtig mache, entschuldigt wenn ich es falsch gemacht habe.

English exam II
1. The text ?Iroquois tradition today? from an unknown author, is about a Native American tribe called ?Iroquios?. The name is given by France. The Iroquios trying to make everybody happy by making a true democracy by taking care of everyones individuall?s needs.
The idea oft he Iroquios ist o think before actually acting. It says, before an Iroquios acts, he hast o think about the next seven generations. It also says that the Creator give the humans everything they need to live. People don?t listen and make the world bad because of greediness and stupidity. The Iroquios introduce the ?Great Law of Peace?.
In 1977 an organization called ?Seventh Generation Fund for Indian developmen? is founded to help native people to keep up things like their traditions, training people to lead communities and developing plans for their economy. The basis ist he ?Great Law of Peace?. If the environment is good, the poeple will be happy.
The ?Great Law of Peace? is up to date. A company called ?Seventh Generations? sells environmentally friendly products such as paper towels or plastic garbage bags made from recycled plastic. They also offer a support so that people can get informed how they can help the environment like saving natural resources and reducing the pollution, for example.
2. I am going to write an essay about the sentence ?a healthy environment has a direct influence on social justice and on general happiness and safety?. I have moved from Hamburg to a small village, so I have some personal experience and know the difference between the environment in a big city and in a village.
First of all I would like to say that the unknown author has a good point. It is probably better to hear birds singing outside every morning as it is in a village, than to hear cars and trucks crossing the street all night and day long.
My last argument is, that it is very importang to find the perfect balance between the right enviroment and nice people. I might be very happy with my family near Tschernobyl and I might be happy with no friend in a beautiful landscape with a forrest, water and mountains. Actually I do not think that a lot people can be happy without friends, but it could be possible.
All in all, I did like to tell in my essay, that everyone has ist own needs, it is not possible to make everyone happy at the same time. So the ?Great Law of Peace?, unfortunately, can not be realized, at least everybody can not be happy and feel safe at the same moment.

Meine Ideen:
Ich habe es wie meine Lehrerin korrigiert hat abgeschrieben, aber man weiß ja nie, 4 Augen sehen bekanntlicherweise mehr als 2 smile