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Pansy
Gast
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 Verfasst am: 15. Dez 2010 20:21 Titel: Essay: Freedom at last? Korrektur :-) |
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INTRODUCTION
As requested I have written an essay about the girl Tina who asks for permission to travel for the first time by herself. It leads to a long discussion between her parents and her.
ARGUMENTS
The chosen destination Cornwall is not far away. Cornwall is a tourist attraction. There is few rain so it is a pleasant state. What is more, two of her friends are travelling with her, so she is not alone.
They have already planned everything.
PERMISSION
Her parents are seriously considering her suggestions. And after a long process they come to a conclusion. They allow her to go. The only catch here is that they will come with her but stay in an other hotel. So, she will have her independence, and the parents will be there if she need them.
CONCLUSION
To sum up, Tina has the permission to travel with her friends however her parents will accompany her to the place but stay in seperate hotels. |
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ruri14
Anmeldungsdatum: 28.11.2010
Beiträge: 63
Wohnort: Tirol
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| Verfasst am: 16. Dez 2010 08:41 Titel: |
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Hallo Pansy,
Du hast jetzt zwei Threads eröffnet, das kann passieren beim ersten mal.
Ich bitte dich aber, das in Zukunft zu unterlassen. 
Danke für dein Verständnis.  |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 18. Dez 2010 00:48 Titel: |
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@ruri14: Ja, vermutlich dieselbe Person, aber es sind zwei verschiedene "Essays". Also kann man das ruhig in zwei verschiedene Thread stellen.
@Pansy:
Einen "Essay" würde ich das nicht unbedingt nennen - daszu müsste es meiner Einschätzung nach länger sein.
Ansonsten ein paar Anmerkungen meinerseits - ich hoffe ich habe nichts Großes übersehen.
Gruß
MI
| Zitat: |
INTRODUCTION
As requested I have written an essay about the girl Tina who asks for permission to travel for the first time on her own. This leads to a long discussion between her parents and her.
ARGUMENTS
The chosen destination Cornwall is not far away. Cornwall is a tourist attraction. There is little rain so it is a pleasant state "few rain" ist nicht möglich, weil Regen offenbar nicht abzählbar ist. Daher hier "little". Den zweiten Satzteil finde ich auch irgendwie unschön, habe aber gerade keinen besseren Vorschlag.... What is more, two of her friends are travelling with her, so she is not alone.
They have already planned everything.
PERMISSION
Her parents are seriously considering her suggestions. And after a long process they come to a conclusion. They allow her to go. The only catch here is that they will come with her but stay in another hotel "The only catch" ist eher umgangssprachlich. Besser vielleicht: "The only problem" oder als Anschluss ", under the condition that her parents...". So, she will have her independence, and the parents will be there if she needs them.
CONCLUSION
To sum up, Tina has the permission to travel with her friends however her parents will accompany her to the place but stay in a different hotel. Der Satz könnte sonst auch meinen, dass die Eltern in verschiedenen Hotels sind, nicht nur in einem von ihrer Tochter verschiedenen Hotel
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