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kokoro
Gast
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 Verfasst am: 17. Apr 2010 19:09 Titel: Composition - Bitte um Korrektur |
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Hallo zusammen!
Ich habe hier einen Text über Multicultaralism in Britain und würde mich freuen, wenn sich den jemand durchlesen und korrigieren könnte (sowohl mein Englisch, als auch inhaltliche Fehler). Ich weiß, es ist viel, aber ihr würdet mir damit echt helfen!
Todays multiculturalism in Great Britain is a well-discussed topic. The underminig of traditional British society started after World War II when the government encouraged immigration to a high degree because of labour shortage and the economic destruction the war caused. Therefore many willing workers e.g. Jamaicans came to Britain. In the 1960s a level was reached that lead the government to restrictions. Several Immigration Acts were passed so that it became more difficult to settle in Britain. In former years people from the Commonwealth could freely immigrate but after these laws only couples or descendants of British colonizers are allowed into the country.
But at this time Britain already was a multicultural state and the problems that are going along aren't completely solved yet.
First of all, ethnic minorities often have disadvantages. Many children need special help in education, unemployment is a big problem and racial discrimination is a daily experience. Today many Britains are against further immigration because it is seen as a threat to the civil service system and the refugees and illigal immigrants who are steadily coming aren't qualified to find a job.
But despite this, Britain also gains a lot from its diverse society. The fact, that in London about 300 different languages are spoken and therefore workers with various language abilities are easily found, attracts many international companies. Also the fact that there are more and more mixed families and ethnic minorities don't build up relations just in their own close group any longer, leads to a higher degree of integration instead of the feared segregation problem.
All in all, multiculturalism in Britain is a great chance and solving the still existing problems should be seen as a challenge rather than a threat.
Mein Text basiert auf mehrern Artikeln, die ich bekommen hab. Ist also weniger meine Meinung, als eine Zusammenfassung was ich gelesen hab
Bin jedenfalls für jede Hilfe dankbar  |
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Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 20. Apr 2010 22:52 Titel: Re: Composition - Bitte um Korrektur |
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Ein paar Kommetare auf die Schnelle:
| kokoro hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Todays multiculturalism in Great Britain is a well-discussed topic. The underminig of traditional British society started after World War II when the government encouraged immigration to a high degree because of labour shortage and the economic destruction caused by the war Sehr viel schöner meiner Meinung nach, die erste Version klang etwas merkwürdig. Therefore many willing workers e.g. Jamaicans came to Britain. In the 1960s a level was reached that lead the government to imposing restrictions on immigration. 1. Teil: "a level was reached", da würde ich noch beschreiben, was genau du mit "Level" meinst. Den zweiten Teil habe ich als Vorschlag etwas erweitert, weil ja nicht die Regierung zu Einschränkungen kam, sondern die Regierung Einschr. auferlegte. Several Immigration Acts were passed so that it became more difficult to settle in Britain. In former years people from the Commonwealth could freely immigrate but after these laws only couples or descendants of British colonizers were allowed into the country.
But at this time Britain had already become a multicultural state and the problems that are going along aren't completely solved yet.
First of all, ethnic minorities often have disadvantages. Many children need special help in education, unemployment is a big problem and racial discrimination is a daily experience. Today many Britains are against further immigration because it is seen as a threat to the civil service system and the refugees and illigal immigrants who are steadily coming aren't qualified to find a job.
But despite this, Britain also gains a lot from its diverse society. The fact, that in London about 300 different languages are spoken and therefore workers with various language abilities are easily found, attracts many international companies. Also the fact that there are more and more mixed families and ethnic minorities that don't build up relations just in their own close group any longer, leads to a higher degree of integration instead of the feared segregation problem.
All in all, multiculturalism in Britain is a great chance and solving the still existing problems should be seen as a challenge rather than a threat.
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