HILFE bei Letter of Motivation für Studium in Utrecht !!!

zahnfee123 · Gast

Hey ihr in Deutschland,

hab im September vor in Utrecht Soziologie zu studieren und bin jetzt gerade dabei meine Bewerbung zu schreiben. Dazu gehört ein Letter of Motivation in Englisch. Nur leider ist mein Englisch einfach nur grottig ( ich studier in niederländisch ... keine sorge also ) und deshalb würd ich gerne um Hilfe fragen. Erst einmal inhaltlich, weil irgendwie kommt mir das ganze schon sehr kindisch und unformell geschrieben vor und zweitens natürlich Grammatik, etc.

Ich lebe übrigends jetzt shcon in Utrecht und es wär echt schlecht wenn das nicht klappt.

Danke schonmal im Vorraus für die liebe Hilfe und Sorry für die Fehler Augenzwinkern

Dear Sir or Madame,

my name is XXX and I would like to apply for the Bachelor of Sociology study at the University Utrecht starting in September 2009.
I am a 21 years old girl living in Utrecht, but born in Hamburg on October the XXX. Until I ended my exam I was living in Vlotho, a little town near Hannover. On XXX I finished my “Abitur”. After that I worked in Zwolle as an au pair for a half year. I was already planning studying in the Netherlands. This time was a very good experience for me living nearly on my own in a foreign country and I also fall in love with the Netherlands. So I decided to gain some work experience in Utrecht before starting my study. Until now that is very nice, because I meet great people from all over the world and the time improves my abilities in Dutch and English. My documents show you, that I did not have a dutch language certification now, but I would like to join the course in the summer vacation especially for german people.
My open minded personality and my social type helped me a lot starting in Utrecht. The first time was hard, but now I begin making friends and feel home.
My choice to start a study in the Netherlands is supported by my adviser from school. Certainly he told me that I can study nearly everything not depending on my marks. And first that was the main argument starting the time as an au pair. But the more I lived in Zwolle I recognized how open minded and multicultural Dutch people are. And even so I am very sure that studying in a foreign country is nowadays an important aspect to get a satisfactorily work in the length of life. My decision for the University of Utrecht is founded of principles as international orientation and the innovative aims, which I can identify with. By my first visit I was so impressed of the building and the atmosphere that I definitely decided studying in Utrecht.

That my mother always told me I am very diplomatic, that was the first point when I considered studying sociology. Original I came to the Netherlands to study psychology, but during my Au pair time I changed my mind. I reflected on my future and couldn’t see myself as a psychologist. I was thinking how much fun I had in school in sociology. For that I must admit before I had the subject I didn’t care about political issues, but the last year in school awakes them again. I think sociology creates a really good connection between policy and society and that is what really interesting me, so as working with people and analyze everything around me. What show my main subjects in school Math, Pedagogy, Biology and German. I see it every day how cultures are clashing and I see how the Dutch society handles it or even not. I hope the study will give me some answer of the question I
already have in my mind since I live here. The fact I am from Germany I am seeing as an opportunity for me and not a disadvantage. Much think are here the same, but the longer I live here I also see little, but important differences which create a society. For me as a foreign person it's easier to see them.
Sociology is for me the opportunity to study something what goes along with my interest and advocates my mind. So I am really looking forward to begin my study.
Should you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your reply.

Yours faithfully,

Gargy · Anmeldungsdatum: 25.05.2008 Beiträge: 62

Ist das ein Motivationsschreiben oder ein ausführlicher Lebenslauf? Ich denke, man sollte die persönliche Situtation und das "Heranwachsen" etwas weniger ausführlich beschreiben. Sind aber auch gute Sachen drin.

Und ich muss auch nochmal nörgeln, weil du geschrieben hast, du "möchtest dich gern bewerben". Das ist falsch! Du bewirbst dich!! Du willst doch dahin, also machst du das auch. Nicht immer hätte, würde, möchte schreiben, sondern werde, will, denke mir das so und so, habe dieses und jenes damit vor, Ziel ist blabla.

Ich würde vorschlagen, du schaust nochmal, ob du's nicht ein bisschen weniger erzählerisch schreiben kannst. Vielleicht schaust du hier am Board mal durch, da gibt's ja reichlich Motivationsschreiben. Google hilft vielleicht auch noch ein bisschen. Wie gesagt, du musst nicht alles verwerfen, aber ich hab zB in noch keinem Motivationsschreiben das Geburtstdatum gelesen. Dafür einfach den tabellarischen Lebenslauf anfügen.

P.S.: Achso, und Hilfe möchte her jeder Augenzwinkern

Das solltest du nicht vorn ranschreiben. Manchmal antwortet dann keiner...

eyeslikeice · Gast

Dear Sir or Madame,

my name is XXX and I would like to apply (besser: I apply) for the Bachelor of Sociology study at the University OF Utrecht starting in September 2009.
I am a 21 years old girl (besser: I am a woman of 21 years) living in Utrecht, (kein Komma) but born in Hamburg on October the XXX. Until I ended (Du hast das Examen nicht wirklich beendet, oder? Nimm besser "did my exam" oder "finished my school" oder so) my exam I was living in Vlotho, a little town near Hannover. On XXX I finished my “Abitur” Versuch, hier wenigstens die niederländische Entsprechung für Abitur zu finden oder die englische (z.B. A-levels) und schreibe sie in Klammern hintedran hin. After that after that ist korrekt aber unschön, besser "And then") I worked in Zwolle as an au pair for a half year besser: six months oder, wenn man year, dann würde ich schätzen, ist "half a year" besser). I was already planning studying "to study in...", vermeide zweimal hintereinander die ing-Form (continous form), ist unschön / ausserdem klingt es besser, wenn Du sagst "From then on I was planning" oder so, nicht "already", geht aber schon durch in the Netherlands. This time was a very good experience for me living nearly almost statt nearly on my own in a foreign country and I also fall in love with the Netherlands fell statt fall (Vergangenheit). So I decided to gain some work experience in Utrecht before starting my study. Until now that is very nice, because I meet great people from all over the world and the time Was willst Du hier sagen? "Die Zeit verbessert..."? Nicht eher so etwas wie "and in time my Dutch and Englisch are getting better" oder so?[/color ]improves my abilities in Dutch and English. My documents show you, that I did [color=orange]do not / don't have, wieso Vergangenheit? not have a dutch Dutch (grosses D) language certification now, but I would like to join the course in the summer vacation especially for german German gross / Länder, die zugehörigen Adjektive und Sprachen werden gross geschrieben: England, English people, speaking English z.B.[/color ]people.
My open minded personality and my social type helped me a lot [color=orange]to start / to begin living starting in Utrecht. The first time first time = erstes Mal, die meinst wohl eher "the beginning" (Anfang) was hard, but now I begin making friends and feel at home.
My choice to start a study in the Netherlands is supported by my adviser from school. Certainly he told me that I can study nearly everything not depending on my marks. Willst Du ernsthaft schreiben, dass er Dir sicherlich gesagt hat, dass Du fast alles studieren kannst, egal was Du für Noten hast? And first that was the main argument for (aber den Sinn davon verstehe ich nicht) starting the time as an au pair. But the more longer statt more I lived in Zwolle I recognized how open minded and multicultural Dutch people are. And even so I am very sure that studying in a foreign country is nowadays an important aspect to get a satisfactorily satisfacting work place work in the length of life in der Länge des Lebens?. My decision for the University of Utrecht is founded of on such statt of principles as international orientation and the innovative aims, which I can identify with with which I can identify. By my first visit On statt By I was so impressed of the building and the atmosphere that I definitely decided studying in Utrecht. Lass das mit dem Gebäude weg

That my mother always told me I am very diplomatic, that was the first point when I considered studying sociology eleganter: My mother always telling me that I am very diplomatic was the first point to consider studying sociology. Original Originally I came to the Netherlands to study psychology, but during my Au pair au pair klein schreiben time I changed my mind. I reflected on my future and couldn’t see myself as a psychologist. I was thinking how much fun I had in school in sociology. For that I must admit before I had the subject I didn’t care about political issues, but the last year in school awakes them again at that point I must admit that before I had sociology classes I didn't care about politics but the last school year awoke my interest. I think sociology creates a really good connection between policy and society and that is what really interesting interests[/color ]me, so as working with people and analyze everything around me [color=orange]and so does working with.... and analyzing .... What what is shown by my choice of main subjects in school: math, ... show my main subjects in school Math, Pedagogy, Biology and German. I see it it weglassen every day how cultures are clashing and I see how the Dutch society handles it or even even weglassen not. I hope the study will give me some answer of of ist falsch, nimmt to[/orange] the question I
already have in my mind since I live here. The fact I am from Germany I am seeing as an opportunity for me and not a disadvantage [color=orange]I see the fact that I am German as an opportunity and not as a disadvantage.. Much think [color=orange]nimm thoughts here are statt think are here[/color ]are here the same, but the longer I live here I also see little, but important differences which create a society. For me as a foreign person it's easier to see them.
Sociology is for me the opportunity to study something what [color=orange]that statt what[/color ]goes along with my interest and advocates my mind. So I am really looking forward to begin my study.
Should you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your reply.

Yours faithfully