kimchi
Anmeldungsdatum: 24.02.2009 Beiträge: 1
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Verfasst am: 24. Feb 2009 20:08 Titel: HILFE! letter of motivation :) |
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hallo, ich muss auch ein motivationsschreiben für einen aufenthalt in seoul verfassen. es wäre wirklich toll, falls jemand drüberschauen könnte, ich habe so gar keine ahnung ob er halbwegs in ordung ist. bitte helft mit! vielen lieben dank schonmal!
kimchi
Dear sir or madam,
My name is XXX and i am studying materials sciences at technical university of Gießen.
I am very exited to spend an academic year at the seoul national university.
There are lots of reasons for me to study at SNU. I think the SNU offers me to combine my personal aims with the academic advancement.
The SNU enjoys a good reputation and is considered to be the best university in South Korea. With my interests the SNU affords me the right conditions to advance my studies. Especially in materials sciences there are many fields of research. The special faculties at SNU offer me an appropriate opportunity to enhance my knowledge in other branches. For instance I am interested in polymers and organic materials.The department of material sciences and engineering at SNU offers diverse courses in these topics. Because many lectures are offered in english I also can improve my technical terminology in english languageas well as achieve my aim to lern the korean language.
Another important point for me to choose SNU was the positive experience of the Ph.D. student I work for as a Student Assistant (research assistant?). She has been a visiting researcher at SNU for 3 months. Her experieces in university as well as in every day life enhanced my wish to spend my academic exchange year at SNU.
But academic advantage is not the only reason for the wish to study at SNU.
The Asian culture fascinates me since a long time. Spending a year in Seoul gives me the chance to receive a profound impression of the culture, the people and the life in South Korea.
I think this year in Soul will develop my personality and broaden my horizon while at the same time advace my academic studies.
I am sure that studying abroad in South Korea will be a unique and unforgettable experience which will definitely enrich my life!
Thank you very much for your considering my request. If there are any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.
I am looking forward for hearing from you soon. |
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MI Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005 Beiträge: 1140 Wohnort: München
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Verfasst am: 26. Feb 2009 17:19 Titel: Re: HILFE! letter of motivation :) |
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Einige Dinge, die mir aufgefallen sind, habe ich verbessert. Hoffentlich habe ich auch das meiste gefunden und nichts verschlimmbessert .
Des Weiteren war ich so frei, das Thema zu spalten.
Gruß
MI
kimchi hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is XXX and I am studying material sciences at technical university of Gießen. Nicht eher "material sciences" statt "materials sciences"?
I am very exited to spend an academic year at the Seoul National University. Eigennamen, etc. groß
There are lots of reasons for me to study at SNU. Welche? So klingt es seltsam I think the SNU offers me to combine my personal aims with academic advancement. "advancement" klingt in meinen Augen seltsam - aber auf jeden Fall würde ich keinen Artikel benutzen.
The SNU enjoys a high reputation and is considered to be the best university in South Korea. With my interests the SNU affords me the right conditions to advance my studies. Der Satz klingt extrem seltsam. Was möchtest du damit sagen? Especially in material sciences, there are many fields of research. The special faculties at SNU offer me an appropriate opportunity to enhance my knowledge in other branches. For instance, I am interested in polymers and organic materials.The department of material sciences and engineering at SNU offers diverse courses in these topics. As many lectures are offered in English I can also improve my technical terminology in English languages as well as achieve my aim to lern the Korean language. Ein "Because"/"Weil" am Satzanfange klingt in meinen Augen immer seltsam.
Another important point for me to choose SNU was the positive experience of the Ph.D. student I worked for as a Research Assistant. Entweder beides Vergangenheit, oder beides Gegenwart. Ansonsten denke ich, dass "Research Assistant" in Ordnung wäre - aber was genau hast du da gemacht? She has been a visiting researcher at SNU for three months bis zwölf ausschreiben . Her experieces with university as well as every day life strengthened my wish to spend my academic exchange year at SNU. "enhanced" klingt in dem Kontext ganz seltsam - "strengthened" zumindest besser.
However, academic possibilites are not my only reasons to apply for staying at the SNU. Ein Vorschlag meinerseits, da der Satz etwas schräg schien
The Asian culture has been fascinating for me for a long time. Besser past perfect progressive (bis in die Gegenwart andauernd) und auf jeden Fall ein "for" - "since" benötigt einen Zeitpunkt. Spending a year in Seoul gives me the chance to receive a profound impression of the culture, the people and the life in South Korea.
I think a year in Soul will develop my personality and broaden my horizon while at the same time advance my academic studies.
I am sure that studying abroad in South Korea will be a unique and unforgettable experience which will definitely enrich my life.
Thank you very much for your considering my request. If there are any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.
I am looking forward for hearing from you soon. |
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