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Coccinellidae
Gast
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 Verfasst am: 22. Nov 2011 23:28 Titel: Motivation letter |
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Meine Frage:
Hallo Leute,
ich bin neu hier und brauche für eine Bewerbung im Ausland einen englischsprachigen motivation letter. Da mein Englisch nicht immer so perfekt klingt, wäre es super, wenn mal jmd drübe schauen kann. Vielen Herzlichen Dank schon mal im voraus.
LG Julia  :)
Meine Ideen:
My name is Julia..., I'm from ..., Germany. I've always been very interested in medicine and the natural sciences. At school, I loved the natural sciences, especially biology. It was always clear to me: when I was a little child, someone asked me what I want to work when I'm adult, I give the same answer 20 years later: medical practitioner. This profession is not just a job for me, it is my vocation and passion.
I want to work later worldwide in several countries and do not want to stay in Germany my whole life, because my second passion besides medicine is to travel to foreign countries and people to get to know other cultures, customs and manners. Therefore I would like to study in English language to have better qualifications and more opportunities. The (Name der Uni) to Germany has a very, very good reputation, so I've decided me to complete my education there. And I would be delighted if u would give me this unique opportunity.
Latvia, especially Riga is a cosmopolitan, modern city where I would be very happy, with a lot of national and international students, this international exchange is also very important for me.
I am very social, can be very good with people, and I am emphatically determined. My interest lies primarily in the natural sciences and the psychology, where I also wrote the best school leaving examination of my grade.
In my spare time I am committed to the welfare of animals, so I also have three cats and I am active in sports, especially jogging, Pilates and swimming.
I would like to work later as a surgeon, especially in my already completed training as an dental assistant, I noticed that I prefer this medicine section. It is very interesting and fascinating for me. Several hours to work in a highly concentration, presents no problem for me.
Another challenge in this job I see for me is to educate oneself constantly and never stop learning. I would like to improve myself permanently and get always new experiences to become better steady.
I?m looking forward to be able to help people one day, to rescue life and improve life quality. That is what I want to do.
I dream my dream for a long time, help me to come my dream a giant step closer. Give me the opportunity of my life, a skilled English medical education at the (Name der Uni). |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 25. Nov 2011 23:12 Titel: Re: Motivation letter |
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Generell gilt: Deutsche Satzstellung vermeiden, Kurzformen "I'm" in formalen Texten vermeiden. Falls das Anschreiben in Briefform gestaltet ist, vielleicht die üblichen Floskeln für das Ende verwenden (wobei Regards denke ich nicht ganz falsch ist - wäre aber unüblich für einen eher geschäftlichen Brief (soweit ich weiß)).
Gruß
MI
| Coccinellidae hat Folgendes geschrieben: | My name is Julia..., I'm from ..., Germany. I've always been very interested in medicine and the natural sciences. At school, I loved the natural sciences, especially biology. Das "natural" kannst du beim wiederholen weglassen. "natural science" wird meistens mit "science" synonym verwandt. It was always clear to me: when I was a little child, someone asked me what I wanted to do when I was grown up and I give the same answer 20 years later: I want to be a medical practitioner. Ich bin der Meinung, dass hier backshift of tenses nötig ist oder zumindest geläufiger ist. Ansonsten habe ich das etwas geglättet. This profession is not just a job for me, it is my vocation and passion.
I later want to work worldwide in several countries and do not want to stay in Germany my whole life, because my second passion besides medicine is to travel to foreign countries and people, to get to know other cultures, customs and manners. Therefore, I would like to study in English to have better qualifications and more opportunities. The (Name der Uni) in ? Germany has an extremely good reputation, so I have decided to complete my education there and I would be delighted if you would give me this unique opportunity.
Latvia, especially Riga, is a cosmopolitan, modern city where I would be very happy, with a lot of national and international students, this international exchange is also very important for me. Das stimmt so leider nicht (die letzten beiden Teile). Vielleicht machst du zwei Sätze draus?
I am very social, I can be very good with people, and I am emphatically determined. My interest lies primarily in the natural sciences and psychology, where I also wrote the best school leaving examination of my grade. Kein Artikel vor Psychologie.
In my spare time I am committed to the welfare of animals, so I also have three cats and I am active in sports, especially jogging, Pilates and swimming.
I would like to work as a surgeon later, especially in my already completed training as a dental assistant; I noticed that I prefer this area of medicine. It is very interesting and fascinates me. Moreover, I have no problem with working under pressure for several hours without breaks. Die Satzstruktur kann Deutscher gar nicht sein.
Another challenge in this job I see for me is to educate myself constantly and never stop learning. I would like to keep improving every day, getting better with all the experience I gather.
I am looking forward to be able to help people one day, to rescue life and improve life quality. That is what I want to do.
I dream my dream for a long time, help me to get a lot closer to reaching it. Give me the opportunity of my life, a skilled English medical education at the (Name der Uni). |
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