Bitte Korrekturlesen !

mariamagdalene · Anmeldungsdatum: 10.08.2010 Beiträge: 10

hey leute,
ich will mich in london bewerben und brauche dringend jmd der mal über meine bewerbung schauen kann...
bin für jeden ratschlag dankbar !!!
ich bin der meinung, dass es viel zu lang is aber weiß auch net was überflüssig ist .... bitte helft mir !!!

Dear …

Practical Placement

I am writing to ask if it would be possible for me to take up a practical training-term in your company for a period of five or ten months, beginning in March 2011. I would be particularly interested in working in economic law, as I already have experience in that area.

I am in my seventh term as a student of an international degree course (postgraduate education) in International Taxation and Business Law, with the focus on Business Law at ... (University of Applied Sciences), Germany and a practical placement is an integral part of my course. Our core-curriculum includes Income Tax Law, statutory provisions relating to the tax balance sheets, International Accounting and Reporting, Internal Law of Taxation, Taxation of Corporations and Partnerships, European Law, Banking and Insurance Law, Private Business Law, Commercial, Corporation, Company and Partnership Law, Insolvency Law, Languages, Key Skills and Team Projects.

To gain international experience I have determined to do both of my practical terms abroad. The importance of international mobility for students is becoming more and more emphasized and I am very eager to gain practical experience by perform my practical training in England. I am convinced that living and working in your country will be an opportunity to broaden my horizon and to learn more about your culture and country.

The company … has a very good reputation so it would be a great pleasure to do my practical placement with your company. From a placement within your company I expect to get a better insight into my field of studies. I am a motivated, determined student who can work in a team same as well as independently on my own. Moreover I am a flexible, punctual, hard-working and reliable person.
I am confident that I can contribute to your company.

As I have good working knowledge in English, I am convinced that I will fulfil your language and communication requirements. In addition, I am familiar with the entire Words, Excel, Power Point, Internet and database work.

Please feel free to call me at the number listed above or to contact me via email address to clarify any issues.

Thank you for your attention

Sincerely

robm447 · Anmeldungsdatum: 03.08.2010 Beiträge: 6

Alles scheint jetzt in guter Ordnung zu sein. Ihr Englisch ist sehr gut, flüssig und leicht zu verstehen...hab' nur eine Frage: der Zeitraum, den Sie im ersten Absatz erwähnt haben, ist 5 ODER 10 Monate und nicht 5 BIS 10 Monate? Ich vermute, Sie müssen ein Pratikum für 5 ODER 10 Monate machen, nicht? Viel Glück! Robert

Dear Sir/Madam,

Re: Practical Placement

I am writing to ask whether it would be possible for me to take up a practical training-term in your company for a period of five or ten months, beginning in March 2011. I would be particularly interested in working in Economic Law, as I already have experience in that area.

I am in my seventh term of an international degree course (postgraduate education) in International Taxation and Business Law, with the focus on Business Law at ... (University of Applied Sciences), Germany, and a practical placement is an integral part of my course. Our core curriculum includes Income Tax Law, statutory provisions relating to tax balance sheets, International Accounting and Reporting, Internal Law of Taxation, Taxation of Corporations and Partnerships, European Law, Banking and Insurance Law, Private Business Law, Commercial, Corporation, Company and Partnership Law, Insolvency Law, Languages, Key Skills and Team Projects.

To gain international experience, I have determined to do both of my practical terms abroad. The international mobility of students is becoming a more and more important issue and I am keen to gain practical experience by doing work experience training in England. I am convinced that living and working in your country will furthermore be an opportunity to broaden my horizons and to learn more about your culture and country.

Your company … has a very good reputation, so I would see it as a great honour to be able to do my practical placement with you. I would certaiinly hope that as a result of being able to work within your company, I would gain a more informed and broader insight into my own field of study. I am a motivated and determined student who can work as part of a team as well as independently. Moreover, I am considered to be a flexible, punctual, hard-working and reliable person. I am therefore sure that I would be able to make a worthwhile contribution to your company.

As I have good working knowledge of English, I am also convinced that I would fully meet your language and communication requirements. In addition, I am familiar with Word, Excel, Power Point, Internet and database work.

Please feel free to call me at the number listed above or to contact me via email address should there be any issues you need to discuss or have clarified.

Thank you in advance for your kind attention

Yours Faithfully,

robm447 · Anmeldungsdatum: 03.08.2010 Beiträge: 6

oops ein Fehler:

certainly im vierten Absatz

robm447 · Anmeldungsdatum: 03.08.2010 Beiträge: 6

auch im vorletzten Absatz: As I have a good working knowledge of English und NICHT As I have good working...............u.s.w.

Ich hoffe, das ist alles...

mariamagdalene · Anmeldungsdatum: 10.08.2010 Beiträge: 10

hey !!
danke, danke ... super ! das ist meine rettung ^^ Tanzen

und richtig, ich brauch ein praktikum für 5 ODER 10 monate...
sollte ich das noch irgendwie erläutern oder so ... ?

robm447 · Anmeldungsdatum: 03.08.2010 Beiträge: 6

Nein das geht genauso wie Sie das schon geschrieben haben -wenn Sie den Begriff erklären wollten, könnten Sie was in Klammern schreiben. Haben Sie die Wahl, zwei Zeiträume von 5 Monaten bei zwei verschiedenen Gesellschaften zu verbringen oder vielleicht 10 Monate bei derselben Firma? Wenn das der Fall ist, könnten Sie vielleicht schreiben: (We have the option of doing two placements of 5 months each at separate firms or one placement of 10 months at the same firm) Wie gesagt, was Sie schon geschrieben haben lässt sich leicht verstehn - die zusätzlichen Details wären fakultativ! Rob

mariamagdalene · Anmeldungsdatum: 10.08.2010 Beiträge: 10

Alles Klar!!
ich denke, ich lass es dann einfach so wie es ist. wenn die fragen haben können sie sich ja melden ;-)

dann danke nochmal für die schnelle hilfe ! Thumbs up!

mariamagdalene · Anmeldungsdatum: 10.08.2010 Beiträge: 10

oder hättest du vielleicht noch einen vorschlag wo ich einen kurzen satz unterbringen kann, der beinhaltet, dass ich meine diplomarbeit im bereich wirtschaftsstrafrecht schreiben will ...??
das fällt mir irgendwie gerade schwer ...

robm447 · Anmeldungsdatum: 03.08.2010 Beiträge: 6

I am in my seventh term of an international degree course (postgraduate education) in International Taxation and Business Law, with the focus on Business Law - this is also the field of my written dissertation - at...

mariamagdalene · Anmeldungsdatum: 10.08.2010 Beiträge: 10

ah ! sehr gut !

torgis · Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2010 Beiträge: 5

Typo:

Original: I would certaiinly hope that as a result

Corrected: I would certainly hope that as a result

Otherwise, that is very well written.