Englischen Schultext Korriegiern

DieEnglischLaie · Anmeldungsdatum: 23.05.2011 Beiträge: 1

Hallo , dieser text hier ist für meine Englisch Mappe (9 Klasse). Würde mich freuen wenn ihr vllt mal drüberlesen könntet und auf grammatik und rechtschreibung (wenn ihr ganz ganz lieb seit auch formulierungen) korriegieren könntet. Wäre echt super nettt smile

With this sentence is meant that a boy who did a crime in his life is a “bad boy” and is turning into a good boy with hard work every day.
A similar method is often used in “boot camps”. It is an alternative for young offenders instead of going into the jail. The Juvenile Crimes are doing hard work to come on their physical and mental limits. Then they have to do therapies. Supporters are saying they are more effective after the hard work
But there are no therapies in Camp Green Lake just the very hard work. Because of this I think this method is not sensible. The hard work is just useful if the Persons also are doing therapies. In addition in my opinion it´s not very smart to let them do every day the same work because this makes the persons maniac sometime. Only positive point is that they perhaps aren´t doing a crime again because they are afraid of coming to such a camp again. To put it in a nutshell I don´t think Camp Green Lake is a good place to punish persons.
I think there are several possibilities to punish Juvenile Crimes. I think boot camps can be effective if the part of work is combined with the at least as important part of the therapies. But they have to be tested because they are often exploited. A Juvenile Detention is also sensible because the Juvenile Criminals can continue to come to special schools. So they can still make their graduation and starting a job after coming out of the jail. Another method which is very effective I think is to forbid them thinks which are in their own interest for example doing their driver´s license.

Danke shcon mal im voraus Fröhlich

MI · Administrator Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005 Beiträge: 1140 Wohnort: München

Rot = Fehler, Grün = Stilvorschläge.

Du hast häufiger noch eine etwas zu deutsche Satzstellung und arbeitest teilweise mehr mit Satzfragmenten als mit wirklich runden Sätzen.

Gruß
MI