Hilfe bei einem englischen Text über Independence

Anna · Gast

Hallihallo....

ehrlich gesagt bin ich ein wenig enttäuscht. als ich im internet zufällig auf diese site hier gestoßen bin, hab ich mich total gefreut und dachte, das wäre doch mal eine chance texte zum üben zu schreiben und nachgucken zu lassen. jetzt habe ich jedoch schon 2mal texte zu Independence in Amerika und Indien ins Forum gepackt, aber bekomme leider keine antworten. es wäre wirklich wichtig. zum glück ist die arbeit auf donnerstag verschoben worden. und ich hoffe, dass jemand nun so nett ist und meine texte bis dahin kurz durchlesen könnte. würde mich schon über ein paar korrekturen oder verbesserungsvorschläge freuen. mfg anna

THE AMERICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE

It all started in the early 1600s when the British began to found colonies, by 1732 they had 13, in the "New Word", nowadays called America. For the reason that most of the colonists were loyal to the British crown, the relationship between the mother country and the colonists was good for both sides.
The relationship was so good that the colonists fought side by side with the regular British troops, when Britain and France fought over land in America.
In the end Britain won all the land east of the Mississipi River but still the war had proved expensive, so that Britain ws deeply in dept when it was over.
That's why they had to think about how they xould take in money to pay their war dept.
And they really found a way. The British wanted the colonies to pay a war dept for the reason that the war was fought for them. They also had to pay lots of taxes. The sugar act for example forced them to pay taxes on certain goods importes into America from outside the British Empire.
There was also a stamp act which force them to pay these taxes in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers.
But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in British Parliament. And that's why they protest: No taxation without representation!
(Und so kam es wie es kommen musste): the Boston massacre took place. The colonists began to protest against these taxes. The centre of this protest was Bosten and 4000 soldiers were sent there to calm down the troublemakers. And for the reason that soldiers shoot into the crowd after they had thrown stones of them and 5 people had to die this anti-British rot was called "a massacre".
The British react to this with a new law. Only the British-owned East India Company was able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because of the disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists threw tea from British ships into Boston Harbor to protest against all these wrongs.
Thus the Boston Tea Party marked the beginning of violence in the dispute between mother country and colonies. ´
The British wanted to arrest the anti-British leaders at Lexington and Concord and take away their guns. So British soldiers marched from Boston. But a signal from a lamp of the Boston church warned Paul Revere who rode to warn the people at Lexington and Concord and the first real battle of War of Independence took place and claimed 342 of lives.
In 1776 the thirteen colonies declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so.
This "Declaration of Independence" contains a list of wrongs that should be righted. This time, the reaction by the British was more drastic: they declared war.

So, das war der Erste. Wir hatten Stichpunkte bekommen, um diesen Text zu verfassen. mit dem ersten Teil eines stichpunktes jedoch konnte ich nichts anfagen. was soll das bedeuten: "questions rights of kings: We hol...."

und der zweite Text handelt über MOHANDA GANDHI's FREIHEITSKAMPF:

Indian got its independence after two centuries of colonial rule in 1947. Mohanda Gandhi, later he earned the title "Mahatma" which mean "Great Soul", was very important for this great success. He was the spiritual and political leader of India who led the struggle for India's independence from the British Empire, empowered by tens of millions of Indians. Throughout his life he opposed any form of terrorism or violence. His philosophy of nonviolence, has influenced national and international nonviolent resistance movements to this day.
Gandhi's world-famous "Salt March" was an act of protest against the British salt tax in colonial India. Ghandi and many other Indian men set out, on foot, for a coastel village called Dandi some 240 miles away to make his own salt. This campaign should also explain the "civil disobedience" and was one of his most successful.
By "civil disobedience" he understand the courage not to obey an unjust law and not to attack or to kill somebody whatever happens, to beware the self-respect, not to strike a blow, but to receive them and to make others see their injustice through the pain of the (Gerechten).

nochmals danke, über eine rasch antwort würde ich mich freuen smile

Yellow · Anmeldungsdatum: 05.10.2005 Beiträge: 27

Hi! Ich versuchs einfach mal mit deinem Text! Hoff es bringt dir was!

J.R. · Gast

Hi Anna,

ich probiere dir (obwohl ich nicht mal hier Member bin) ein wenig unter die Arme zu greifen... schließlich wollen wir doch keine Enttäuschungen Anna, oder??

_____________________________

Hier meine Verbesserungen:
THE AMERICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE

It all started in the early 1600s when the British began to find colonies, by 1732 they had 13, in the "New Word", nowadays called America. For the reason that most of the colonists were loyal to the British crown, the relationship between the native country and the colonists was good for both sides.
The relationship was even so good that the colonists fought side by side with the regular British troops, during the tussles against France for land in America.
At the end Britain won all of the land to the east of the Mississipi River. The war had proved expensive, so that Britain was deeply in dept when it was over.

//ICH KANN MIT DEM WORT "Dept" NICHTS ANFANGEN. HEIßT ES RECHNUNG?? SCHULDEN??
VIELLEICHT MEINST DU AUCH "Debt" ALSO DIE "Finanzschulden bzw. Schudlen"

That's the reason why they had to think about how they could procure money to pay their war debt.
And they really found a way. The British commited the colonies to pay a war debt and justified it with the fact that the war was fought for them. They also had to pay lots of taxes. The sugar act for example forced them to pay taxes on certain goods importes into America from outside the British Empire.
There was also a stamp act which force them to pay these taxes in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers.
But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in the British Parliament. And that's why they protested: No taxation without representation!
And it cames who it how to comes: the Boston massacre took place. The colonists began to protest against the adhesion taxes. The centre of this protest was Bosten. More than 4000 soldiers were sent there to to put down the rebellions. And for the reason that soldiers shoot into the crowd after they had thrown stones of them and 5 people had to die this anti-British rot was called "a massacre".

//DIESER SATZ MACHT KEINEN SINN... WAS MEINST DU?? SCHREIB ES AUF DEUTSCH...

The British reacted (behalte die Vergangenheit ein) to this with a new law. Only the British-owned East India Company was able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because of the disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists threw tea from British ships into Boston Harbor to protest against all these wrongs.
Thus the Boston Tea Party marked the beginning of violence in the dispute between the native country the and colonies. ´
The British wanted to arrest the anti-British leaders at Lexington and Concord and take away their guns. So British soldiers marched from Boston. But a signal from a lamp of the Boston church warned Paul Revere who rode to warn the people at Lexington and Concord and the first real battle of War of Independence took place and claimed 342 of lives.
In 1776 the thirteen colonies declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so.
This "Declaration of Independence" contains a list of wrongs that should be righted. This time, the reaction by the British was more drastic: they declared war.

So, das war der Erste. Wir hatten Stichpunkte bekommen, um diesen Text zu verfassen. mit dem ersten Teil eines stichpunktes jedoch konnte ich nichts anfagen. was soll das bedeuten: "questions rights of kings: We hol...."

//DARAUF HABE ICH AUCH LEIDER KEINE ANTWORT...

und der zweite Text handelt über MOHANDA GANDHI's FREIHEITSKAMPF:

Indian got its independence after two centuries of colonial rule in 1947. Mohanda Gandhi, later he earned the title "Mahatma" which mean "Great Soul", was very important for this great success. He was the spiritual and political leader of India who led the struggle for India's independence from the British Empire, empowered by tens of millions of Indians. Throughout his life he opposed any form of terrorism or violence. His philosophy of nonviolence, has influenced national and international nonviolent resistance movements to this day.
Gandhi's world-famous "Salt March" was an act of protest against the British salt tax in colonial India. Ghandi and many other Indians men set out, on foot, for a coastel village called Dandi 240 miles away to make his own salt. This campaign should also explain the "civil disobedience" and was one of Gandhi´s most successful doings.
By "civil disobedience" he understood the courage not to obey an unjust law and not to attack or to kill somebody whatever happens, to beware the self-respect, not to strike a blow, but to receive them and to make others see their injustice through the pain of the who is fair-minded .

ICH HOFFE ICH KONNTE DIR HELFEN...
J.R.

P.S. Das mach ich nur weil ich ne Freundin hab die Anna heißt Wink