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Philipp Sobotta
Gast
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 Verfasst am: 03. Apr 2011 15:13 Titel: Letter of application Korrekturlesen |
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Hallo liebe Forumscommunity,
ihr habt mir schon so oft und so toll geholfen, dass ich zwecks einer letzten schulischen Hausaufgabe eure Hilfe zum vorerst letzten Mal in in Anspruch nehmen muss. Ich musste ein Berwerbungsschreiben mit angehängtem Lebenslauf verfassen. Nun bitte ich euch mir Verbesserungsvorschläge und Korrekturen zu nennen bzw. zu zeigen. Die äußere Form entspricht natürlich nicht dem Endzustand, ging hier nun aber nicht besser zu gestalten, ich bitte deshalb um Nachsicht.
Ich Danke euch dafür schonmal im Voraus.
MfG, Philipp
Hier nun der Text:
[Rechtsbündig:]{ Musterstraße 5
02625 Bautzen
Germany }
03 December 2011
HIT – Computers
12 London Road
Brighton
BN6 8KL
England
Application for an internship
Dear Sir or Madam
As part of my studies at the Technical University in Ilmenau, I am required to have a second foreign work experience. I am therefore hoping to find a position as an intern for about two months from July to September next year, and would like to ask you to consider my application for a position in your company.
Your address was given to me by a docent who works in my University and he is responsible for the work experiences at TU Ilmenau. As I want to go into the computer industry when I get my Master, I thought an internship with you would be ideal.
As you see from the enclosed CV, I have a good school-leaving certificate.
I also have IT skills (Pascal, C+, C#, HTML, CSS, MS Office 2010) and reasonably fluent English.
If possible, I would like to spend in addition also a part (three to five weeks) of my vacation at your firm. However, if the above dates are not possible, please suggest other periods.
Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me by phone, Skype or email. I would like to work in Brighton and look forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully
Philipp Sobotta
Philipp Sobotta
Enc. CV
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ab hier CV ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Philipp Sobotta
Personal details
Name Philipp Sobotta
Address Musterstraße 5, 02625 Bautzen, Germany
Date and place of birth 24 July 1992, Bautzen
Nationality German
Daytime phone number +49-3591-123456
Email address (also for Skype) [email protected]
Education
08/2011 – present TU Ilmenau, 7-semester Bachelor-course in Computer science engineering + 3-semester Master-course
07/2009 – 06/2011 Sorbisches Gymnasium Bautzen (Gymnasium SEK II); Abitur, grade average: 2.7
07/2003 – 07/2009 Sorbisches Gymnasium Bautzen (Gymnasium SEK I); school-leaving certificate, grade average: 2.3 on a 6-point scale from 1 (very good) to 6 (very unsatisfactory)
07/1999 – 07/2003 Sorbische Grundschule Bautzen (Primary School)
Work experience
Summer 2011 first work experience for studies, TechnoTeam Bildverarbeitung GmbH, Ilmenau
Since 01/2011 Small entrepreneur, Internet and mail order business
Summer 2010 vocation job, Switzerland, Zurich (as roofer)
2003 – 03/2011 prospect distributor, Bautzen (mini-job)
Skills and Competences
Languages English, advanced (some knowledge of business English); French, intermediate; Sorbian, intermediate
IT skills Pascal, C+, C#, HTML, CSS, MS Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, ...), NVU, some PC skills
Other driving license, Certificate in English Communication Skills
References references can be supplied on request |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 06. Apr 2011 18:12 Titel: Re: Letter of application Korrekturlesen |
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Wenn's noch akutell ist, habe ich das mal kurz überflogen. Die Feinheiten der Art und Weise, wie Briefe geschrieben werden kenne ich nicht genau, daher gibt es dazu leider keine Kommentare meinerseits:
| Philipp Sobotta hat Folgendes geschrieben: | Hallo liebe Forumscommunity,
Application for an internship
Dear Sir or Madam
As part of my studies at the Technical University in Ilmenau, I am required to have a second foreign work experience. I am therefore hoping to find a position as an intern for about two months from July to September next year, and would like to ask you to consider my application for a position in your company.
Your address was given to me by a university lecturer/tutor who works in my University and he is responsible for the work experiences at TU Ilmenau. "docent" habe ich noch nie gehört. As I want to go into the computer industry when I finish my Master's degree, I thought an internship with you would be ideal.
As you can see from the enclosed CV, I have a good school-leaving certificate.
I also have IT skills (Pascal, C++, C#, HTML, CSS, MS Office 2010) and reasonably fluent English.
If possible, I would like to spend also a part (three to five weeks) of my vacation at your firm in addition to the required internship. Ich finde deine Satzstellung da nicht so schön und bin mir nicht ganz sicher, ob das überhaupt geht, daher einmal umgestellt. However, if the above dates are not possible, please suggest other periods.
Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me by phone, Skype or email. I would like to work in Brighton and look forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully
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