Englisch-Text korrigieren

lala1430 · Anmeldungsdatum: 01.09.2009 Beiträge: 5

Hallo
ich muss diesen Text morgen abgeben. Es wäre nett wenn mir jmd bei der Korrektur helfen könnte.

Hier mein Text:
Dreamily he looked by the area. Nevertheless, a player passes him the ball but he did not react. “Do not dream. Tomorrow such a thing may not happen to you! “, shouted the trainer. The dreamy boy is Jack Steward a 16-year-old teenager who loves playing football. His parents have moved two years ago here in Cambridge because his father was moved. He visits the High school in Cambridge. He has only one thing in his head: Football, football, football. He wants to become a professional footballer.
"For today we are finished. From in the cabins. We will discuss the tomorrow's play“, shouted the trainer. Jack and the other footballers went from the sports field. On moving the discussion started.
Finally, Jack start back for home. His tired expression signals a hard training. He looked once again to the sports field. He had a nasty feeling. "Tomorrow is the play … It becomes very difficult. We have the home advantage. The likelihood is to be lost virtually zero. “, he thought.
Submerged in thoughts, he did not notice that he was pursued by some players of the opposing team. These were Charlie, David and Daniel. Latter from the three ones was the opponent of Jack. As unobtrusively as only possibly he tries to catch a look to see what the boys plan. They got closer to him laughing. However, Jack became quicker. The laughter of three became always louder, so that the granny in the other street edge complained. "Hey Jack“, shouted Daniel with a creaky voice. Jack stopped. All of a dither he turned round. “Why are you in a great hurry?“, said Charlie. Daniel added: "Tomorrow you will lose very high! “ Jacks face became pale. "Arrogance comes before the case“, murmured Jack.
A car met and honked. The boys looked to the car. "Jack jump purely!“, shouted a close voice. "Dad", said Jack. "Guys excuses me then I have to go“, said Jack smiling. Jack went in the car. "Dad what are you doing here?“ asked Jack relieving. "I had early end“, answered Mr. Steward. “Thankfully!“ Why? “. "Oh nothing! “

Danke im vorraus

Irmaa · Gast

Dreamily he looked at the area. Nevertheless, a player passes him the ball but he did not react. “Do not dream. Tomorrow such a thing may not happen to you! “, shouted the trainer. The dreamy boy is Jack Steward a 16-year-old teenager, who loves playing football. His parents have moved to Cambridge two years ago.Because his father was decided so.
Jack visits the High school in Cambridge but he has only one thing in his head: Football, football, football.
He wants to become a professional footballer.
"We finished for today. From in the cabins(?)(Before going into the cabines?)What do you mean?
We will discuss the tomorrow's play“, shouted the trainer.
Jack and the other footballers went from the sports field. On moving the discussion started.(?)What do you mean?(Before the discussion started).
Finally, Jack went home. His tired expression signals a hard training.(WHAT?)
He looked once again to the sports field. He had a bad feeling.
"Tomorrow is the match … It becomes very difficult. We have the home advantage. The likelihood is to be lost virtually zero. “(What?), he thought.
Submerged in thoughts, he did not notice that he was pursued by some players of the opposing team.
These were Charlie, David and Daniel. The latter of the three guys was the opponent of Jack.

As unremarkably as possible he tried to glance over to see what the boys were planning.
They were laughing loudly and approached Jack.
However, Jack went on quickly.
The laughter of the guys became louder and louder whereupon an old lady complained from the corner of the other street.
"Hey Jack“, shouted Daniel with a creaky voice. Jack stood rooted to the ground( blieb wie angewurzelt stehen). After a while he turned around.
“Why are you hurrying?“, asked Charlie.
Daniel added arrogantly and self-confidentially: "Tomorrow you will lose,Dude! “ Jacks face became pale. "Arrogance comes before the case“,he murmured.

In the meantime a car appeared and hooted.
The boys looked wonderingly at the car.
"Come in Jack!“, shouted a deep voice. "Dad", said Jack. "Guys excuse me.I have to go“, said Jack smilingly.
Jack went in the car. "Dad what are you doing here?“ asked Jack relievingly. "I had an early knock-off“, answered Mr. Steward. “Luckily!“ Why? “.
"Oh nothing! “ :-) and smiled.

lala1430 · Anmeldungsdatum: 01.09.2009 Beiträge: 5

„Das war’s für heute. Ab in die Kabinen." Das mein ich mit dem Satz. ich konnte das nicht so gut ausdrücken.

lala1430 · Anmeldungsdatum: 01.09.2009 Beiträge: 5

What do you mean?(Before the discussion started).
=Nach dem Umziehen fing die Besprechung an.

His tired expression signals a hard training.(WHAT?)
=Sein müder Gesichtsausdruck signalisiert ein hartes Training.

The likelihood is to be lost virtually zero. “(What?)
=Die Wahrscheinlichkeit zu verlieren ist so gut wie Null

Danke für die Verbesserung smile