summary / korrektur / hilfe

franzi17 · Anmeldungsdatum: 26.11.2006 Beiträge: 1

hallo,

leider bin ich nicht grad ein genie in sachen englisch
wäre euch deshalb sehr dankbar wenn ihr mal drüber schauen könntet und auch kritik aüßern würdet..

The text is about the history of immigration in the USA. The Untited States are a nation of immigrants. Only the American Indians are "real" native Americans. There are three important periods of the history of American immigration. The "colonial" period from the early 1600´s to 1776 is the first period. In this time the most immigrants came from England, Scotland, Germany and Netherland. Huge numbers of slaves from Africa were also brouht to America. "Old immigration" is the second period, between 1776 and 1890. The largest number of immigrants arrived in this time.
The reasons for that were the plant disease in Ireland and the freeland that was given away by the Homestead Act of 1862. The most of the immigrants came from China to build the railroads or to work in goldmines but it also came thousand of german, swedish and norweigan people.
The next period is the "new immigration" that started in 1980 and early 1900´s. The most people that immigrate in this period came from Europe.
The people were attracted by the exagerated stories of wealth.
They hope to escape the poverty and overpopulation of their countries.
After 1885 the US goverment build a new immigration Center on Ellis Island to cope with the large number of immigrants. On Ellis Island were decided whether immigrants can stay in the US or must leave.
Thats the reason why is Ellis Island called "the Isle of Tears".
When immigrants arrive Ellis Island the guards tied tags on the immigrants coats and seperate them to smaller groups. Then the immigrant were checked by a doctor. People who suffering diseases were
marked with a letter on their back. Those people were often sent back in their country on the fastest way. People who passed the medical check were tested of their skill and abilities. Most of the people were allowed to immigrate. Only 2 percent were sent back.
The immigrants usually need some years to adjust to the new life and to learn the new language. The American people exploit the immigrants because they had to take every job they could find.
So the buisness-people can keep the wages low.
1921 was the immigration law passed by the Congress under pressure from Labor Unions and other groups. This law limited the number of immigrants and get up a quota system.
In the next years far fewer people arrived Ellis Island. That was the reason why was Ellis Island closed in 1954. 1984 started a convertion into a museum which end in 1990. Many of the guests have personal ties to this place because, 40 percent of all Americans have a direct acestor who arrive America through Ellis Island.

habt vielen dank

Goldenhind · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399

In den Einleitungssatz einer Summary gehören immer die Quellenangaben, soweit bekannt (Textname, Textart, Autor, Erscheinungsdatum etc.).

Es heißt "the Netherlands".
Das "the" vor "most immigrants" usw. muss weg. Das ist ein typisch "denglischer" Fehler.
"It also came" kann man nicht sagen. Es muss lauten:
"but thousands of German, Swedish and Norwegian people came also" Beachte, dass man bei Ländernamen im Englischena uch die Adjektive groß schreibt. Ich würde übrigens eher "thousands of Germans, Swedish and Norwegians" sagen.
"Exaggerated" mit zwei g.
"On Ellis Island it was decided ..."
"That is the reason"
"When immigrants arrived on Ellis Island"
"the immigrants' coats"
"separated them"
"the immigrants were examined by a doctor"
"who suffered from diseases"
"on their backs"
"The American people exploited"
"the businessmen could keep"
"in 1921 the immigration law was passed"
"and got up a quota system"
"why Ellis Island was closed"
In 1984 a (oder the) convertion into a museum started, ending in 1990"
"ancestor who arrived in America on Ellis Island"

Du musst unbedingt aufpassen, dass du mit den Zeiten nicht durcheinander kommst.
Im Laufe deines Textes wird der Bezug zum Originaltext nicht mehr wirklich deutlich. Du solltest zwischendurch immer mal wieder so etwas wie "accrding to Autor des Textes einfügen.
Ich würde außerdem nochmal mit deinem Lehrer klären, ob ihr in Summaries Zeilenangaben machen sollt. Manche Lehrer sagen, Zeilenangaben gehören nicht in Zusammenfassungen, andere wollen sie unbedingt haben.

MfG Goldenhind