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crossy
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.04.2011
Beiträge: 3
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 Verfasst am: 02. Mai 2011 12:17 Titel: Korrekturlesen meines "Personal Résumé's" für die |
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My name is .... and I’m .... years old. Together with my parents I’m living in ........ In the period from 1997 to 2001 I attended elementary school in ...... From year 2001 I went to the general- educating Gymnasium in ..... There I graduated successfully in summer 2010.
I always counted English, French, Mathematics and Sports to my favorite subjects. In Gymnasium I learned English for 9 and French for 7 years.
I’m able to carry on a conversation in both languages as well as author a text.
Moreover I owe my language skills to the participance in a three weeks long language holiday in Great Britain and a school exchange program with the United States for four weeks.
After graduating from school, I’ve spent almost seven months abroad (predominantly in Anglophone countries).
During this period I had again the opportunity to enhance my knowledge of the English language.
While being abroad I learned to solve problems and to organize things. Furthermore I’ve experienced a lot about foreign cultures and I coped the adventure to live in different, foreign cultures. I also expanded my horizon and spurred my intercultural competences on. All this helped to change my personality for the positive.
I was also able to get some work experience during my schooldays. In 2006 I completed a social practical course in a home for the elderly in ......... The year after I’ve spent one week in the police department in ....... where I gained some interesting insights.
In my free time I like to play sport, meet friends or read. For a long time I’ve been practicing apparatus gymnastics in the sport club of ...... For me the positive aspects in doing sports together are helping and motivating each other.
During the time between my stay abroad and the beginning of my studies in fall I’m working for the German post office where I’m delivering mail.
My colleagues characterize me as a motivated and of good repute young woman. |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 04. Mai 2011 22:37 Titel: Re: Korrekturlesen meines "Personal Résumé's" für |
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| crossy hat Folgendes geschrieben: | My name is .... and I’m .... years old. Together with my parents I’m living in ........ In the period from 1997 to 2001 I attended elementary school in ...... From year 2001 I went to the general- educating Gymnasium in ..... There I graduated successfully in summer 2010.
I always counted English, French, Mathematics and Sports to my favorite subjects. In Gymnasium I learned English for 9 and French for 7 years. Da würde ich eine der Standardübersetzungen wählen (high-school, secondary school, grammar school, etc. - aus dem einfachen Grund, weil "gymnasium" eben eine andere Bedeutung im Englisch hat.
I’m able to carry on a conversation in both languages as well as author a text.
Moreover, I owe my language skills to the participance in a three weeks long language holiday in Great Britain and a school exchange program with the United States for four weeks.
After graduating from school, I’ve spent almost seven months abroad (predominantly in Anglophone countries).
During this period I had again the opportunity to enhance my knowledge of the English language.
While being abroad I learned to solve problems and to organize things. Furthermore I’ve experienced a lot about foreign cultures and I coped the adventure to live in different, foreign cultures. Das geht mEn nicht. Wenn, dann "to cope with sth." - aber selbst da wird mir nicht ganz klar, was du sagen möchtest, bzw. es hört sich irgendwie komisch an. I also expanded my horizon and spurred my intercultural competences on. Schlechte Wortwahl meiner Meinung nach. "spur" wird nach meiner Recherche (ich kannt das Wort tatsächlich nicht) mehr im Zusammenhang mit "antreiben" (Pferde) benutzt. All this positively influenced my personality.
I was also able to get some work experience during my schooldays. In 2006 I completed a social practical course in a home for the elderly in ......... The year after I’ve spent one week in the police department in ....... where I gained some interesting insights.
In my free time I like to do sports, meet friends or read. For a long time I’ve been practicing apparatus gymnastics in the sport club of ...... For me the positive aspects in doing sports together are helping and motivating each other.
During the time between my stay abroad and the beginning of my studies in fall I’m working for the German post office where I’m delivering mail.
My colleagues characterize me as a motivated young woman. Das "of good repute" hört sich so an, als ob du irgendwelche schlechten Eigenschaften ausgleichen möchtest. Ich denke, das sollte man sich sparen. |
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klarowahro
Gast
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| Verfasst am: 06. Mai 2011 16:59 Titel: Re: Korrekturlesen meines "Personal Résumé's" für |
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Noch ein paar zusätzliche Dinge, die mir aufgefallen sind.
| crossy hat Folgendes geschrieben: | My name is .... and I’m .... years old. Together with my parents I’m living I live in ........ In the period from 1997 to 2001 I attended elementary school in ...... From year 2001 I went to the general- educating Gymnasium in ..... There I graduated successfully in summer 2010.
I always counted English, French, Mathematics and Sports to my favorite subjects. In At the Gymnasium I learned English for 9 and French for 7 years.
I’m able to carry on a conversation in both languages as well as author a text.
Moreover I owe my language skills to the participance in a three weeks long lasting language holiday in Great Britain and a school exchange program with the United States for four weeks.
After graduating from school, I’ve spent almost seven months abroad (predominantly in Anglophone countries).
During this period I had again the opportunity to enhance my knowledge of the English language.
While being abroad I learned to solve problems and to organize things. Furthermore I’ve experienced a lot about foreign cultures and I coped the adventure to live of living in different, kein komma! foreign cultures. I also expanded my horizon and spurred my intercultural competences on. All this helped to change my personality for the positive.
I was also able to get some work experience during my schooldays. In 2006 I completed a social practical course in a home for the elderly in ......... The year after I’ve spent one week in the police department in ....... where I gained some interesting insights.
In my free time I like to play sport, meet friends or and read. For a long time I’ve been practicing apparatus gymnastics in the sport club of ...... For me the positive aspects in doing sports together in a group/team are helping and motivating each other.
During the time between my stay abroad and the beginning of my studies in fall I’m working for the German post office where I’m delivering mail.
My colleagues characterize me as a motivated and of good repute young woman. |
Ich weiß nicht, wofür du es brauchst, aber sollte es was offizielles werden, dann solltest du die ganze 've und andere Abkürzungen ausschreiben. Einige Ausdrücke ließen eher den Schluss zu, dass du alles etwas locker siehst, aber das kann ja auch sehr positiv sein. Ansonsten finde ich es etwas selbstherrlich (kann ebenfalls positiv sein) und manchmal etwas kurz (interssting insight?? welche denn? oder zumindest in welchem rahmen?) |
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