letter of motivation - Famulatur

Lebkuchen · Gast

Meine Frage:
Hallo zusammen!
Ich brauch für eine Famulatur in China ein Motivationsschreiben auf Englisch, bin mir aber leider bei einigen Formulierungen nicht so ganz sicher. Wär also super wenn jemand mal drüberlesen könnte smile

Meine Ideen:
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am currently enrolled as a third-year medical student at the Julius-Maximilians-University of Würzburg and I was very interested, when I heard about the partnership between our university and the faculty Tongji medical College Wuhan in China.
Not only the nine-year lessons at the secondary school, but also the five-week attendance at the language school ?Kaplan International College? in Cairns, Australia, helped me to acquire my good command of English. Moreover I was able to deepen my knowledge during a journey to England and a three-week stay in the USA. Besides I intend to take part in the course ?Medical English? in one of the following semesters.
I have always been interested in foreign countries, cultures and languages. This is the reason I have started to learn Spanish besides my studies and I am going to use the coming semesters to acquire basic knowledge in Chinese.
Of all the professional medical fields I am most interested in surgery, that I already got to know during a part of my internship in nursing as well as during the workshop ?Chirurgie zum Mitmachen?, which was organized by the ?Association Of German Surgeons?.
On the whole I intend to use the time in China not only for a clinical elective and to extend my medical knowledge, but also to gain international experience and an insight into the traditional country and the culture, which was formed in thousands of years.
I really look forward to a positive response.

Yours faithfully,

Schoko_Keks · Anmeldungsdatum: 11.01.2014 Beiträge: 2

Hallo Lebkuchen :) cooler Nickname! Ich glaube wir verstehen uns!

Also zu deinem Letter of motivation:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am currently enrolled as a third-year medical student at the Julius-Maximilians-University of Würzburg and I was very interested, when I heard about the partnership between our university and the faculty Tongji medical College Wuhan in China.
Not only have I learned English for 9 years in school, I have also attended a language school in Cairns, Australia, which helped to acquire my good language skills. Moreover, I was able to [color=red]improve my English during a journey to England and a three-week stay in the USA. Besides, I intend to take part in the Medical English Course at my university which will be offered in the following semester. I have always been interested in foreign countries, cultures and languages. This is the reason why I have started learning Spanish in my spare time and I aim to expand my basic knowledge in Chinese next semester as well.
Of all the professional medical fields I am most interested in surgery, which I already got to know during my internship in nursing as well as during the workshop Chirurgie zum Mitmachen, being organized by the ?Association Of German Surgeons.
I intend to use the time in China not only for a clinical elective and to expand my medical knowledge, but also to gain international experience and an insight into China's culture and traditions.
I really look forward to a positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Hallo Lebkuchen,
dein Anschreiben an sich ist nicht übel. Ich habe einige Formulierungen veränder. Allerdings solltest du viel konkreter darauf eingehen, warum du an diesem Partnerschaftsprogramm zwischen China und Deutschland teilnehmen möchtest. Du sagst gar nicht, was dich an China interessiert. Schreibe warum du unbedingt nach China möchtest, inwiefern deine persönliche/berufliche/akademische Entwicklung dadurch profetiert. Formuliere deine Erwartungen und warum du ein geeigneter Kandidat für das Programm bist. Auch solltest du genauer ausführen, was dich an dem Bereich Chirugie so fasziniert. Also baue dein Motivationsschreiben bitte noch etwas aus, um dich von der Masse abzuheben. Ich wünsche dir viel Glück! Alles Liebe
Schoko