brauche hilfe!! der text muss korrigiert werden

jil · Anmeldungsdatum: 14.05.2007 Beiträge: 4

hallo wäre super wenn jmnd den text gegen lesen könnte bzw ihn korrigieren könnte.muss den text abgeben und er wird benotet.brauch aber ein bisschen hilfe von euch danke schon mal

discussion essay topic:shall our school introduce a schooluniform

shall our scholl introduce a schooluniform?in the last month this question was often discussed by politicans and the headmasters of schools.there are a lot of views and meanings about this question to intriduce a uniform or not.in this essay i will wight pro and counterarguments.after that you will see that introducing a schooluniform is unreasonable.
on the one hand if we introduce a uniform social relations of the people will be oppresed.so you dont see how the financial situation of the concerned person looks like.and to reach equal treatment of every people the uniform must be introduce on every school in this region.in other reason to indtroduce a uniform is that people which are in a bad financial situation,wont be discriminated any longer because all people are required to wear tge same clothes.if the people are discriminated could it be that they are not willing to go to school and so they arent able to get good marks.among these reasons there is an ohter fact.if we have a uniform on our school and every other school have one then you can clearly see from which school the people come from. so there isnt any confusion any more.but otherwise there are a lot of facts in favour against a uniform.for instance you are comitte to wear the uniform even if you are not willing to wear that clothes because it isnt your style . as well your personality and your style will be oppressed by the uniform. and this is the fact which i find very convincing not to introduce a schooluniform at schools because how i said the personality of the individuums are lost and the unfolding isnt possible any more.that means that every people will look like the same and you see no changes between these persons.
in conclusion it is unreasonable to intoduce a uniform at schools because this will destroy the most important personal qualties of an person and your not the same people without your own style.

Goldenhind · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399

jil · Anmeldungsdatum: 14.05.2007 Beiträge: 4

okay danke hat mir ech geholfen bis denni dann