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Tatjana1990
Anmeldungsdatum: 10.04.2007
Beiträge: 1
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 Verfasst am: 10. Apr 2007 18:33 Titel: bitte um korrekturlesen |
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Ich hoffe ihr könnt ihr könnt mir bei meinen zwei aufsätzen weiterhelfen! Danke im Voraus!
1) Inner Monolog:
„ Why couldn’t I help her? If I only had known! Why didn’t she talk to me? Couldn’t she? Didn’t she want to? I don’t know…She could hide her disease really well…But…But I should have noticed something!! Should have, should have, should have, but NOW it’s too late!! Oh my God, now she’s in the hospital… I’ve read so many books about anorexia, but when my best friend is anorexic, I notice nothing! She did lose a few pounds, but wasn’t she normal…Hmm…But what’s normal?? Models are all skin and bones and nobody says something against it!!!!! That’s not normal! Oh no! It’s not normal that girls stop eating to look beautiful! No… that’s not normal…I think…Maybe I shouldn’t reproach…Not even her parents have noticed anything…But…I wanted to talk to her, but she blocked…I wasn’t adamantine…I just didn’t want to gamble with our friendship…I just wish everything would not had happened…But I think…I think I should let bygones be bygones…Yes, it’s was not my fault…I hope it wasn’t…I couldn’t help her at that time, but now I can…Yes…Now I have to help her finding her way back to life… I should go to the hospital…Yes, I really should go to visit her…She now needs every support she can get!
2) Tagebucheintrag
Dear Diary! 10.04.1912
For so many people the Titanic is the deluxe-ferry…But for me, for me it’s my ruin, in New York I’ll meet him, my husband Michel Bowling, a tall, handsome and above all rich man. “The perfect husband!” mother said, but I don’t want to have a husband, I’m not ready for a marriage! I know, after father’s death, we lost all the money, and mother says that the marriage Michel would be the only way out! I don’t want to let my family down, I am the oldest daughter it’s my duty to help Sarah, Mary and mother. I am depressed but with a heavy heart I take this burden.
Dear Diary! 13.04.1912
“A woman in your position shouldn’t have feelings like that!” mother says, after she saw me with Victor talking. I told her that there’s nothing between us, but deep in my heart I feel there’s more, there’s love. He’s the only man who sees me, how I really am. He is the one I want to live with he is my tall, handsome guy!! Every time I’m with him, I forget my family, I forget my duty…I just want to break out of cage I’m in, I want to live!! But nevertheless I know what I have to do, there will never be a life with Victor…He cannot hedge me and my family…It may not forget about my sisters…This marriage is the only way out!
Dear Diary! 14.04.1912
I cannot suffer this pain! There’s so much pressure on me, I am not up to this…Everyday I pray that for a sign, please God tell me what to do!! Ohhhh…What a noise! I think I should get out to see what’s going on… I’ll write as soon as I can… |
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Goldenhind
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006
Beiträge: 399
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| Verfasst am: 10. Apr 2007 19:28 Titel: Re: bitte um korrekturlesen |
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| Tatjana1990 hat Folgendes geschrieben: | 1) Inner Monolog:
„ Why couldn’t I help her? If I only had known! Why didn’t she talk to me? Couldn’t she? Didn’t she want to? I don’t know…She could hide her disease really well…But…But I should have noticed something!! Should have, should have, should have, but NOW it’s too late!! Oh my God, now she’s in the hospital… I’ve read so many books about anorexia, but when my best friend is anorexic, I don't notice anything! She did lose a few pounds, but wasn’t she normal…Hmm…But what’s normal?? Models are all skin and bones and nobody says anything against it!!!!! That’s not normal! Oh no! It’s not normal that girls stop eating to look beautiful! No… that’s not normal…I think…Maybe I shouldn’t reproach…Not even her parents have noticed anythinghier wohl besser past simple, oder haben die Eltern immer noch nichts bemerkt?…But…I wanted to talk to her, but she blocked…I wasn’t adamantine…I just didn’t want to gamble with our friendship…I just wish everything had not happened…But I think…I think I should let bygones be bygones…Yes, it was not my fault…I hope it wasn’t…I couldn’t help her at that time, but now I can…Yes…Now I have to help her finding her way back to life… I should go to the hospital…Yes, I really should go to visit her…She now needs every support she can get!
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Ihatemusic
Anmeldungsdatum: 13.04.2007
Beiträge: 1
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| Verfasst am: 13. Apr 2007 18:10 Titel: Re: bitte um korrekturlesen |
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ich würde das datum über deinem eintrag auch anpassen...
| Tatjana1990 hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
2) Tagebucheintrag
Dear Diary! 10.04.1912
For so many people the Titanic is the deluxe-ferry…But for me, for me it’s my ruin, in New York I’ll meet him, my husband Michel Bowling, a tall, handsome and above all rich man. “The perfect husband!” mother said, but I don’t want to have a husband, I’m not ready for marriage(ohne a ist besser)! I know, after father’s death, we lost all the money, and mother says that to marry Michel would be the only way out! I don’t want to let my family down, I am the oldest daughter it’s my duty to help Sarah, Mary and mother. I am depressed but with a heavy heart I take this burden.
Dear Diary! 13.04.1912
“A woman in your position shouldn’t have feelings like that!” mother says, after she saw me talking to Victor. I told her that there’s nothing between us, but deep in my heart I feel there’s more, there’s love. He’s the only man who sees me, how I really am. He is the one I want to live with he is my tall, handsome guy!! Every time I’m with him, I forget my family, I forget my duty…I just want to break out of cage I’m in, I want to live!! But nevertheless I know what I have to do, there will never be a life with Victor…He cannot hedge me and my family…It may not forget about my sisters…This marriage is the only way out!
Dear Diary! 14.04.1912
I cannot suffer this pain! There’s so much pressure on me, I am not up to this…Everyday I pray for a sign, please God tell me what to do!! Ohhhh…What a noise! I think I should get out to see what’s going on… I’ll write as soon as I can… |
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