Bitte um Textkorrektur Lord of the Flies 2

Kantige Bergeule · Anmeldungsdatum: 16.03.2007 Beiträge: 26 Wohnort: Siegen

Lord of the Flies tells the story of a group of English schoolboys marooned on a tropical island after their plane is shot down during a war. Though the novel is fictional, its exploration of the idea of human evil is at least partly based on Golding’s experience with the real-life violence and brutality of World War II. Free from the rules and structures of civilization and society, the boys on the island in Lord of the Flies descend into savagery. As the boys splinter into factions, some behave peacefully and work together to maintain order and achieve common goals, while others rebel and seek only anarchy and violence. In his portrayal of the small world of the island, Golding paints a broader portrait of the fundamental human struggle between the civilizing instinct—the impulse to obey rules, behave morally, and act lawfully—and the savage instinct—the impulse to seek brute power over others, act selfishly, scorn moral rules, and indulge in violence.
In Golding´s view,the human impulse towards civilization is not deeply rooted as the human impulse toward savagery.The monster on the Island is not the beast, it is the sense of savagery in the mind of every human being.The boys are dehumanized by the fear,because they are afraid from their life they dehumanized themselves.
The central concern of Lord of the Flies is the conflict between two competing impulses that exist within all human beings: the instinct to live by rules, act peacefully, follow moral commands, and value the good of the group against the instinct to gratify one’s immediate desires, act violently to obtain supremacy over others, and enforce one’s will. This conflict might be expressed in a number of ways: civilization vs. savagery, order vs. chaos, reason vs. impulse, law vs. anarchy, or the broader heading of good vs. evil. Throughout the novel, Golding associates the instinct of civilization with good and the instinct of savagery with evil.
Lord of the Flies is an allogorial novel,because Golding conveys many of his main ideas and themes through symbols,characters and objects.As the novel progresses,Golding shows how different people feel the influences of the instincts of civilization and savagery to different degrees.The boys lose their innocence by becoming evil throught the savagery in their minds.In spite of this civilization can mitigate,but never wipe out the innate evil that exisits within all human beings.

Vielen Dank im vorraus schonmal!
MfG
Kantige Bergeule

Goldenhind · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399

Also ich finde der Text ist dir insgesamt ziemlich gut gelungen. Mir sind praktisch keine Fehler aufgefallen.
Den Satz: "The boys are dehumanized by the fear,because they are afraid from their life they dehumanized themselves." verstehe ich nicht,was willst du da sagen?
An einigen Stellen wiederholst du dich finde ich etwas, z.B. "Golding paints a broader portrait of the fundamental human struggle between the civilizing instinct—the impulse to obey rules, behave morally, and act lawfully—and the savage instinct—the impulse to seek brute power over others, act selfishly, scorn moral rules, and indulge in violence." und dann
"The central concern of Lord of the Flies is the conflict between two competing impulses that exist within all human beings: the instinct to live by rules, act peacefully, follow moral commands, and value the good of the group against the instinct to gratify one’s immediate desires, act violently to obtain supremacy over others, and enforce one’s will." Du brauchst diese Instinkte denke ich nicht zwei mal so ausführlich und fast mit den selben Worten beschreiben...
Ansonsten gibt es die Regel Namen von Büchern kursiv zu schreiben, bzw. wenn man mit der hand schreibt, wo das nicht geht, dann sollte man sie unterstreichen.

Kantige Bergeule · Anmeldungsdatum: 16.03.2007 Beiträge: 26 Wohnort: Siegen

puhhhh dann bin ich ja beruhigt...ich hoffe der text kann mir dann auch im abi am mittwoch helfen!ok dann streich ich das "golding paints a..." raus.

ich hoffe der text über dehumanization is genauso gut geworden...

ich seh schon in den nächsten tagen werdet ihr von mir viel zu korrigieren kriegen... höhöh und ich kann mich gut aufs abi vorbereiten

dat kann ja dann nur wat gutes werden,hoffentlich Prost