Verfasst am: 18. Apr 2010 21:44 Titel: braucht hilfe beim text korrigeren
Meine Frage:
also ich muss vom einem Buch (Holes - Löcher ) ein Kapitel zusammen fassen aus der Sicht einer Eidechse. Ich bitte euch mein Text zu verbesser da ich sonst niemnad habe den ich fragen kann
Hi I am Toxin. I am a lizard. All my friends call me Toxin because I am very dangerous and I can kill my enemies with my deadly Toxin. Now I tell you about a special day at the desert. Ones day I was searching food for my family, than I saw a lots of humans kids who were digging holes. And there as dangerous looking man to, he had got a gun. The dangerous looking man was eating seeds. After a while the guys stop working an went to the man. The man filled water in the canteen of the kids. Than I could saw I boy was steeling the sack with the seed out of the back of the man. After the man finished filling the canteens he droved with a car away. Then the boy who stole the seeds was sharing the seeds with the other guys. Only some minutes the chip came back. The guys did not know where to hid the seeds so they poured it into a holes. I think this holes belonged to the guy who jumped in the holes und bury the seeds hastily. Than the man came back and goes to the hole where the sunflowers seeds was. He goes to the boy and and asking him what he were bury. He said nothing but the man did not believe him and dug. After he found the seeds he took the boy into his chip an drove away
Meine Ideen:
recht schreibung und grammatikk sind wahrschein lich viele dabei ^^
kokoro Gast
Verfasst am: 19. Apr 2010 14:22 Titel:
Zitat:
Hi I am Toxin. I am a lizard. All my friends call me Toxin because I am very dangerous and I can kill my enemies with my deadly [T]toxin. Now I tell you about a special day at the desert. One[s] day I was searching food for my family, when [than] I saw a lots of human[s] kids who were digging holes. [And t] There was also a dangerous looking man [to, he] who had got a gun[. The dangerous looking man] and was eating seeds. After a while the guys stopped working and went to the man. The man filled water in the kid's canteen [of the kids]. Than I could saw a [I] boy was steeling the sack with the seed out of the back of the man. (Ich bin mir nicht sicher, was du damit sagen willst ?)After the man finished filling the canteens he drove[d with a car] away. Then the boy who stole the seeds was sharing the seeds with the other guys. Only some minutes later the chip (chap? man?) came back. The guys did not know where to hide the seeds so they poured it into a hole[s]. I think this holes belonged to the guy who jumped in the holes und bury the seeds hastily. (und was willst du damit sagen? Tut mir Leid, aber ich kenn das Buch nicht...)Than the man came back and [goes] went to the hole where the sunflower[s] seeds [was]were. He [goes]went to the boy and [and asking] asked him what he [were bury]had buried. He said nothing but the man did not believe him and dug. After he found the seeds he took the boy into his chip an drove away
Ich hab jetzt mal versucht zumindest die mir offensichtlichen Fehler zu verbessern.
Da sollte aber trotzdem nochmal jemand anderes drüberschauen.
Nur noch zwei kurze Fragen: was soll "chip" bedeuten? Das hab ich in dem Zusammenhang noch nie gehört
Und in welcher Klasse bist du? Dann kann ich deine Kenntnisse besser einschätzen
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