| Autor |
Nachricht |
englishlover
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.11.2008
Beiträge: 9
|
 Verfasst am: 19. Nov 2008 22:44 Titel: Könntet ihr mir meinen Text korriegen bitte :):):) |
 |
|
Hallo liebe Boardies 
könntet ihr bitte meinen Text überfliegen und eventuell Verbesserungsvorschläge geben in Bezug auf die Satzformulierung etc.
Ich wäre euch echt dankbar
Danke im Voraus
Mit freundlichen Grüßen
englishlover
Good morning Ladies. Today I want to give you a presentation about Barack Obama, the new US president. My report consists of 3 parts. First of all, I want to tell you something about his life, and then I want to say something about his political activities and at the end you will get information about his political setting and plan in the future.
1.
Barack Obama became grown up from his single mother and his grandparents. They didn’t have a lot of money, but they trained him the standards of Kansas heartland where they grew up. He took advance to be able to finish the school. After the university he worked for Christian churches in Chicago, as an assistant for community. Obama and his wife Mrs. Michelle are parents of two daughters now, Sasha and Malia.
2.
2.1
In the state senate of Illinois there was important to work with the democrats as well as with the Republicans to be able to help working families. Barack Obama wanted to produce State earned incomes tax-free amounts to help the families. In addition, he voted for out an enlargement of the early youth education.
In the American senate Obama has concentrated upon it, which challenges of a globalized to occupy world of the 21st century with the fresh thinking and a politics which deals nich more with pointless things. His first law was agreed with Republican Tom Coburn. In this law it was about the fact that every American has the right to look on-line where his ten cent coin of his tax dollar lands.
2.2
On the 4th of November, 2008 hit Barack Obama John McCain and became the first Afro American president. In his victory speech, before a big audience, Obama informed publicly that "change to America has come."
Elective president Obama will start as the 44th president of the United States on the 20th of January, 2009.
Obama held his first press conference as an elective president on Friday 7th of November, 2008 in whom he discussed the economy, Iran, the constant crossing, and the search of his Family for the "first dog."
3
3.1
Obama was exactly from the beginning against the war next to Iraq, because this was absolutely stupid according to his opinion. He also said that it has been a silly war. Now he would like to pull back all US troops from Iraq.
Barack Obama is of the opinion to stop Iran in the production of nuclear weapons.
And He would also want the destruction of the Guantannamo, because He is completely against maltreatments and torture.
3.2
Barack Obama would also want the abolition of the Todesstafe, because he is completely against it. He means, many Todesurfälle happen by racist prejudices and bad penal defenders.
3.3
Obamas landlord's sheep politics orientates itself of the politics of the social state. He would like to place a lot of value of the budget. However, in addition the following things must be done: Tax reliefs, controls lowering packages, economy measures in the oil industry and the astronautics, help in the college education. Obamas of the most important economic advisers is Austan Goolsbee. |
|
 |
Goldenhind
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006
Beiträge: 399
|
| Verfasst am: 20. Nov 2008 20:25 Titel: Re: Könntet ihr mir meinen Text korriegen bitte :):):) |
|
|
| englishlover hat Folgendes geschrieben: | Good morning Ladies and Gentleman?. Today I want to give you a presentation about Barack Obama, the new US president. My report consists of 3 parts. First of all, I want to tell you something about his life, and then I want to say something about his political activities and at the end you will get information about his political setting and plan in the future.
1.
Barack Obama became grown up die Formulierung klingt für mich etwas gestelzt. Ich würde einfach sagen "was raised by" from his single mother and his grandparents. They didn’t have a lot of money, but they trained him the standards of Kansas heartland where they grew up. He took advance to be able to finish the school. After university he worked for Christian churches in Chicago, as an assistant for community. Obama and his wife Mrs. Michelle are parents of two daughters now, Sasha and Malia.
2.
2.1
In the state senate of Illinois vll sagen, wann er State Senator war?there was important to work with the democrats as well as with the Republicans to be able to help working families. Barack Obama wanted to produce State earned income tax-free amounts to help the families. In addition, he voted for out an enlargement of the early youth education.
In the American senate evtl. besser offiziell "United States Senate" Obama has concentrated upon it, which challenges of a globalized to occupy world of the 21st century with the fresh thinking and a politics which deals nich more with pointless things in dem Satz snd wohl einige Wörter durcheinandergeraten, oder?. His first law was agreed with Republican Tom Coburn. This law was/is about the fact that every American has the right to look besser "find out" o.ä. on-line where his ten cent coin of his tax dollar lands ich weiß nicht, ob man "to land" so verwenden kann. Evtl besser "ends up" o.ä..
2.2
On the 4th of November, 2008 Barack Obama beat John McCain and became the first African American president. In his victory speech, before a big audience, Obama informed publicly that "changehas come to America."
President elect Obama will start offiziell "be inaugurated" as the 44th president of the United States on the 20th of January, 2009.
Obama held his first press conference as a President elect on Friday 7th of November, 2008 in which he discussed the economy, Iran, the constant crossing wovon?, and the search of his Family for the "first dog."
3
3.1
Obama was against the war on Iraq from the very beginning, because this was absolutely stupid according to his opinion. He also said that it has been a silly war. Now he would like to pull back all US troops from Iraq.
Barack Obama is of the opinion that the production of nuclear weapons by Iran should be prevented (ich glaube, nach "... is of the opinion" kann keine Infinitivkonstruktion folgen, deshalb habe ich den Satz etwas umgestellt.
And He also wants/supports/calls for the [b]closing of (the) Guantannamo (Bay detention camp), because He is completely against maltreatments and torture.
3.2
Barack Obama would also want the abolition of the death penalty, because he is completely against it. He believes, many death sentences (du meinst Todesurteile, oder?) happen (besser "are caused" by racist prejudices and bad penal defenders. Soweit ich weiß, befürwortet Barack Obama die Todestrafe in manchen Fällen
3.3
Obamas landlord's sheep was willst du sagen? politics orientates itself of the politics of the social state. He would like to place a lot of value on the budget. However, in addition the following things must be done klingt jetzt so, als sei das deine persönliche Meinung: Tax reliefs, controls lowering packages, economy measures in the oil industry and the astronautics, help in the college education. [b](One of) The most important economic adviser(s) of Obama is Austan Goolsbee. |
Das ganze endet ziemlich abrupt, bist du schon fertig? |
|
|
englishlover
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.11.2008
Beiträge: 9
|
| Verfasst am: 20. Nov 2008 21:11 Titel: |
|
|
Vielen Dank Goldenhind.
Also ich muss es laut meiner Lehrerin nochmal überarbeiten. -->Ein paar Änderungen in der Gliederung. Ich poste dann meinen vollständigen Text nochmals rein:).
Danke für alles.
Echt super Board hier
+10
Mit freundlichen Grüßen
englishlover |
|
|
|
|
Registrieren
Login
FAQ
Suchen
