Könnt ihr mal schauen ob der Text so ok ist...

Pittiblatsch · Anmeldungsdatum: 12.09.2008 Beiträge: 3 Wohnort: Ingolstadt

oder ob ich was weglassen bzw. was dazu schreiben soll.

Vielen Dank im Voraus.

Can organizations like the United Nations prevent war? What do you think of concepts such as “balance of power” and “deterrence”? Can they guarantee world peace?

The United Nations (UN) is an international organization whose stated aims are to facilitate cooperation in international law, international security, economic development, social progress, human rights, and achieving world peace. The UN was founded in 1945 after World War II to replace the League of Nations, to stop wars between countries and to provide a platform for dialogue.
On 25 April 1945, the UN Conference on International Organization began in San Francisco, attended by 50 governments and a number of non-governmental organizations involved in drafting the Charter of the United Nations. The UN officially came into existence on 24 October 1945 upon ratification of the Charter by the five permanent members of the Security Council — France, the Republic of China, the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom and the United States — and by a majority of the other 46 signatories. There are currently 192 member states.
In my opinion the UN is a very important institution. It gives every member state the opportunity to introduce their own opinions in crisis and gives the chance to discuss how to prevent war or other crisis.
Regular conferences of the member states will help to show problems early and that gives enough time to find solutions against them. Anyway I’m of the opinion that United Nations don’t have influence on everything, because there have been so often heads of state decided high-handed to began with war. For Example die United Nations can’t control the famine all over the world, therefore one have to move the people to reflect about these problems. Everybody should develop a certain sense of responsibility for every human being, and also everybody should know how to handle with our resources carefully. Of course a organization like the UN can try to make the humans more sensible, but if the members in this organization are not willing to pull together it will surely get hard to manage. Also it is important that every member state get heard and all opinions should have the same weight.
Finally I would like to say that we couldn’t go without the United Nations. There would be much more political unrests if this organization would not exist.

LG,

Pittiblatsch
grübelnd

Goldenhind · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399

Hallo pittiplatsch.
Irgendwie werde ich das Gefühl nicht los, dass du den Anfang deines Textes irgendwo rauskopiert hast. Er ist nämlich soweit ich das sehe sprachlich einwandfrei und auf ziemlich hohem Niveau, während der Schluss dann deutlich abfällt. Das würde dein Lehrer sicher auch bemerken....

Pittiblatsch · Anmeldungsdatum: 12.09.2008 Beiträge: 3 Wohnort: Ingolstadt

Danke erstmal für deine erste Einschätzung.

Ja den ersten Teil habe ich tatsächlich nicht alleine gemacht, denn mir ist ums Verrecken nichts eingefallen. Werde diesen Teil aber nochmal überarbeiten.

LG,

Pittiblatsch