HaloHIMself
Anmeldungsdatum: 11.02.2007 Beiträge: 1
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Verfasst am: 11. Feb 2007 23:08 Titel: Korrekturlesen / Benötige Hilfe zur später Stund |
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Hallo,
habe folgendes Problem und zwar bin ich nicht so gut in Englisch und brauche jemanden, der diesen folgenden Text auf Fehler untersucht.
Bin über jede Hilfe dankbar!
Der Text:
By the family Bhamra and her religion to the Sikhismus there are some important values after which the Indians live on account of her tradition. At the beginning of the sequence of the film Mr. and Mrs. Bhamra with her daughter sit together. It becomes clear that the Bhamras still live in an old-fashioned world and the traditional role of a woman is very important for them. Their daughter Jess should become a good housewife who cook, can iron, clean etc. This is the foundation-stone for a wedding. A marriage ceremony has at the Indians and her religion a special value. Therefore the mother doesn't like at all that Jess plays football in a women's team and gets to know the modern world. Jess should learn to cook rather really in Indian, be competent and be well-arranged. This is at family Bhamra the picture of a right woman who could also be a creditable daughter-in-law sometime. In addition, the football clothes also interfere to the mother. She says that the shorts are too short and she walks around too freely. By that you can recognises an other important value in the traditional world, namely the abstinence. Therefore Jess should wear clothes which are closed, show little skin and cover especially her scar. So that, a men doesn't come her to near and doesn't touch she at all. After thatMrs. Bhamra appells also at the fact that she should be serious, finally, and not plays further is allowed because the life is not easy, it is always hard. Besides, there speaks Mrs. Bhamra from own experience. In addition, becomes evident that the Bhamras women's football do not accept and as the pointless play depreciate. In her world women's football is not emancipated yet and has no future. In the middle of the sequence where Jess and her team companions change in the covering she explains to them that Indian women may marry only Indian, no Muslims, blacks or white. Also here becomes clear that the family Bhamra puts very big value on tradition and religion and get close before new, a modern coloured world, in which everybody can marry everybody because of love, equal wich colour of skin they have. At the end of the sequence, as Jess comes home from her shoping travel with Jules, it also appears that Indian women may not smoke because it offends against the apprenticeships of the Sikhism. Indians should live with nature in harmony and dirty them not further. These are the essential values of the Famile Bhamra and the Sikhismus. Besides, is still to be mentioned that although the woman takes the traditional role of a housewife, woman and men ahve the same rights at the Indians.The Equality of man and woman, justice and salary by hard work are especially important values of the Sikhism.
MFG |
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MI Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005 Beiträge: 1140 Wohnort: München
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Verfasst am: 12. Feb 2007 20:31 Titel: Re: Korrekturlesen / Benötige Hilfe zur später Stund |
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HaloHIMself hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
At the Bhamra family and her religion, Sikhism, there are some important values which the Indians follow on account of their tradition Satzstruktur ist immer noch nicht schön... Ich würde den Satz komplett anders schreiben.. . At the beginning of the film sequence Mr. and Mrs. Bhamra sit together with her daughter Englische SATZSTRUKTUR BITTE BEACHTEN. Einfache Satzstruktur ist doch nicht so schwer . It becomes clear that the Bhamras still live in an old-fashioned world and that the traditional role of a woman is very important for them. Their daughter Jess should become a good housewife who cooks, irons, does the cleaning, etc. This is the headstone for a wedding "foundation-stone" wird NUR für Bauarbeiten benutzt! . A marriage ceremony has a special value for the Indians and their religion. Therefore the mother doesn't like at all that Jess plays football in a women's team and gets to know the modern world. Jess should learn to cooking as well as being cmpetent and well-aranged like real Indians. |
Hier einmal ein Anfang - mehr Zeit hab ich leider nicht! |
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