Bitte um Kontrolle meines Textes

Hansy · Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2006 Beiträge: 46

Könntet ihr bitte meien Text kontrollieren:

So if I saw the watch was broken and the men cam towards me, I began to run away. The man begins to run after me, but I was quiet faster then the men. After this hard time I went to the apprentice house and there I found Esther. She says to me ‘Come on! Go in to our room!’. In this moment I was the first time really happy. Then I sad down to a chair, ask for a piece of paper and put out my penknife. At first I was opening my clock to look what them happens. Then I saw that the gear wheel was damaged. I know how to repair this, because I have an uncle and he is clockmaker. So I only need a little peace of metal.
But in this time there weren’t so little peaces of metal so I cut a little peace of the clock hand and repair the gear. Now it was working. In this moment the Machine Breakers knock on the door. I put Esther hand and use the Time-T-Watch. But the Machine Breakers was faster then the watch. In this moment as the Machine Breakers open the door I open my eyes and I saw I was only dreaming!

DANKE!

Ulli · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004 Beiträge: 1389

Hi Hansy

hier mein Korrekturvorschlag

When I saw the watch was broken and the men coming towards me, I began to run away. They began to run after me, but I was quite faster than the men. After that hard time I went to the apprentice’s house and there I found Esther. She said to me to come on! Go into our room!. At that moment I was really happy for the first time. Then I sat down on a chair, asked for a piece of paper and put out my penknife. At first I was opening my pocket watch to look what happens then??? . Then I saw that the gear wheel was damaged. I knew how to repair this, because my uncle is a clockmaker. That is why I only need a little piece of metal.
But in that time there weren’t so little pieces of metal so I cut a little piece of the clock hand and repaired the gear. Now it was finally working. At the same time the machine breakers knocked at the door. I put Esther’s hand ????and used the Time-T-Watch. But the machine breakers were faster than the watch. While they were opening the door I woke up and realized that I only had been dreaming.

Achte auf die Zeiten und auf Wortwiederholungen. Die Stellen, die ich mit ??? versehen haben, waren mir unklar. grübelnd

Hansy · Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2006 Beiträge: 46

Ulli · Ehrenmoderator Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004 Beiträge: 1389