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could someone check my eurocom topic please?
 
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simkess



Anmeldungsdatum: 02.12.2005
Beiträge: 3

BeitragVerfasst am: 02. Dez 2005 16:09    Titel: could someone check my eurocom topic please? Antworten mit Zitat

Hi,
In a few days I have my eurocom topic, so it would be pretty cool if someone could check my text.

Hello together, my name is xxxxxx. I come from Ennetach. It’s near Mengen and between the lake of constance and Stuttgart. My hobbies are computers, the rifle club, walking with my dog and partys. Today I will present you my topic “the american dream”.
First I’ll explain you what the american dream is, then from where it comes and after that for which persons it became true. At the end I will show some artist and poets who wrote about this topic and why.



The american dream


What is the american dream?

There isn’t a definition for all, but generally you can say that it’s the dream from getting rich only with your work power and a big believe. I think you all now the famous sentence “from dishwasher to millionaire”. That’s the meaning behind the american dream. But for sure everybody has another point of view. For some people it’s just the dream of living in freedom, for others the dream of getting rich. The believe off this, oppurtunity and freedom let many immigrants came to america. They searched for gold or just worked hard to get rich. Many of them also came to america because they were hunted in their countries. So they hoped of a better life in america. The myth that all is possible is today always alive. Sure it may got true some people, but in my opionion you can go also to germany. There you have almost the same chances to get much money for your work. Today the work situation in the USA isn’t good like the most people maybe think.


From where comes the american dream?

The american dream had his peak season in the first half of the 20th century while the economy upswing of the USA. It was for many emigrants the hope of a new better life in the USA. The american dream has been brought to the USA by the Pilgrim Fathers. They were settlers who escaped from their countries because in their home countries they couldn’t do their religion. At the 5th of August 1620 they started their journey in a big ship called “Mayflower”. A lot of the Pilgrim Fathers died at this long journey. But the people alive build a settlement. About 11 million people followed the Pilgrim Fathers over the Atlantic to america.


For which persons did the american dream become true?

Sure, this big dream of freedom and beeing rich hadn’t become true for all who believed in this. In the first half of the 20th century, when the upswing of the economy of the USA was, the american dream got for many people true. They could search for gold, because in this time the train had been invented and so they could search in a big area for gold. Many found gold and became rich, but the heavy opposite of this was that a lot of gold seekers died in mines by searching gold. Some couldn’t get enough from gold, they got adicted to the search of gold. So many destroyed their lifes.
Today the american dream has transformed into a kind of nightmare. In the society of the 21th century you can only become rich if you have rich parents with a shop or so or you have a good school education. But a good school education is very expensive and so you must have enough money. It’s a doom loop.
The idea behind the american dream is that you have to work had to get money. So the people with money say, that the poor people were lazy. That’s a big problem and the cause that the USA hasn’t a social net like germany.


Important artists/poets who wrote about this topic.

Some artists and poets worked with this topic. I want to show you some and explain you why they did it.





----------

I just need some poets and artist which worked with this topic. Can you tell me a website with this?
Gast






BeitragVerfasst am: 03. Dez 2005 23:18    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

sorry, don´t have much time, but i´ll try to do my best Augenzwinkern


am besten du vergleichst dann einfach mal....
by the way: was ist eigentlich eurocom? Augenzwinkern
____________________________________________________



Hello together, my name is xxxxxx. I´m from Ennetach. It’s near Mengen and between the lake of Constance and Stuttgart. My hobbies are computers, the rifle club, walking with my dog and going to partys. Today I´m going to present you my topic “the American Dream”.
First I’ll explain you what the american dream is, then where it comes from and after that for which persons it became true. At the end I will show you some artist and poets who wrote about this topic and why.



The American Dream


What is the American Dream?

There isn’t a definition for all, but generally you can say that it’s the dream from getting rich only with your work power and a big believe. I think you all now the famous sentence “from a dishwasher to a millionaire”. That’s the meaning behind the American Dream. But for sure everybody has another point of view. For some people it’s just the dream of living in freedom, for others the dream of getting rich. The believe in this oppurtunity and freedom let many immigrants come to America in former times. They searched for gold or just worked hard to get rich. Many of them also came to America because they were hunted in their home countries. So they hoped for a better life in America. The myth that everything is possible is still alive today. Sure it may got true for some people, but in my opionion you can also go to Germany. There you have almost the same chances to get much money for your work. Today the work situation in the USA isn’t as good as most people maybe think.


Where does the American Drean come from?

The American Dream had his peak season in the first half of the 20th century during the economy upswing (?!) of the USA. For many emigrants it was the hope of a new better life in the USA. The american dream has been brought to the USA by the Pilgrim Fathers. They were settlers who escaped from their countries because in their home countries they couldn’t live their religion. On the 5th August 1620 they started their journey in a big ship called “Mayflower”. A lot of the Pilgrim Fathers died on this long journey. But the people alive built a settlement. About 11 million people followed the Pilgrim Fathers over the Atlantic Ocean to America.


For which persons did the American Dream become true?

Sure, this big dream of freedom and beeing rich didn´t become true for all who believed in it. In the first half of the 20th century, when the upswing of the economy of the USA was, the american dream got true for many people. They could search for gold, because in this time the train had been invented and so they could search for gold in a big area. Many found gold and became rich, but the opposite of this was that a lot of gold seekers died in mines while they were searching for gold. Some couldn’t get enough gold and so they got addicted to the search of gold. So many destroyed their lifes.
Today the American Dream has changed into a kind of a nightmare. In the society of the 21th century you can only become rich if you have rich parents with a shop or if you have a good school education. But a good school education is very expensive and so you must have enough money. It’s a doom loop.
The idea behind the american dream is that you have to work hard to get money. So the people who have money say, that the poor people just were lazy. That’s of course a big problem and the cause why the USA hasn’t got a social net like Germany.


soooo hatte jetzt wie gesagt nich viel zeit, aber hab zumindest das gröbste, was ich so auf den ersten blick gesehen hab korrigiert. hoffe, ich konnte dir helfen

liebe Grüße, SJAS Wink
Ulli
Ehrenmoderator


Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389

BeitragVerfasst am: 04. Dez 2005 12:38    Titel: Re: could someone check my eurocom topic please? Antworten mit Zitat

simkess hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Hi,
In a few days I have my eurocom topic, so it would be pretty cool if someone could check my text.

Hello together, my name is xxxxxx. I come from Ennetach. It’s near Mengen and between the lake of constance and Stuttgart. My hobbies are computers, the rifle club, walking with my dog and partys. Today I will present you my topic “the american dream”.
First I’ll explain you what the american dream is, then from where it comes and after that for which persons it became true. At the end I will show some artist and poets who wrote about this topic and why.



The american dream


What is the american dream?

There isn’t a definition for all, but generally you can say that it’s the dream from getting rich only with your work power and a big believe. I think you all now the famous sentence “from dishwasher to millionaire”. That’s the meaning behind the american dream. But for sure everybody has another point of view. For some people it’s just the dream of living in freedom, for others the dream of getting rich. The believe off this, oppurtunity and freedom let many immigrants came to america. They searched for gold or just worked hard to get rich. Many of them also came to america because they were hunted in their countries. So they hoped of a better life in america. The myth that all is possible is today always alive. Sure it may got true some people, but in my opionion you can go also to germany. There you have almost the same chances to get much money for your work. Today the work situation in the USA isn’t good like the most people maybe think.


From where comes the american dream?

The american dream had his peak season in the first half of the 20th century while the economy upswing of the USA. It was for many emigrants the hope of a new better life in the USA. The american dream has been brought to the USA by the Pilgrim Fathers. They were settlers who escaped from their countries because in their home countries they couldn’t do their religion. At the 5th of August 1620 they started their journey in a big ship called “Mayflower”. A lot of the Pilgrim Fathers died at this long journey. But the people alive build a settlement. About 11 million people followed the Pilgrim Fathers over the Atlantic to america.


For which persons did the american dream become true?

Sure, this big dream of freedom and beeing rich hadn’t become true for all who believed in this. In the first half of the 20th century, when the upswing of the economy of the USA was, the american dream got for many people true. They could search for gold, because in this time the train had been invented and so they could search in a big area for gold. Many found gold and became rich, but the heavy opposite of this was that a lot of gold seekers died in mines by searching gold. Some couldn’t get enough from gold, they got adicted to the search of gold. So many destroyed their lifes.
Today the american dream has transformed into a kind of nightmare. In the society of the 21th century you can only become rich if you have rich parents with a shop or so or you have a good school education. But a good school education is very expensive and so you must have enough money. It’s a doom loop.
The idea behind the american dream is that you have to work had to get money. So the people with money say, that the poor people were lazy. That’s a big problem and the cause that the USA hasn’t a social net like germany.


Important artists/poets who wrote about this topic.

Some artists and poets worked with this topic. I want to show you some and explain you why they did it.





----------

I just need some poets and artist which worked with this topic. Can you tell me a website with this?




Das ist mir aufgefallen Big Laugh Augenzwinkern

between the lake of Constance ......ohne of


smile

_________________
LG Ulli

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Spanish proverb
kikira
Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 04. Dez 2005 16:38    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

@Ulli

Schon ein bisserl wenig, was dir da aufgefallen ist, Ulli. Vor allem deshalb, weil das einzige, das du ausgebessert hast, noch dazu falsch ausgebessert ist. Konstanz ist eine Stadt und der Satz soll lauten:

Der See bei Konstanz (= Bodensee)

@Simkess
Here's what I found about your mistakes:


Hello together, my name is xxxxxx. I´m from Ennetach. It’s near Mengen and between the lake of Constance and Stuttgart. My hobbies are computers, the rifle club, walking with my dog and going to partys. Today I´m going to present you my topic “the American Dream”.
First I’ll explain you what the american dream is, then where it comes from and AFTERWARDS for which persons it became true. FINALLY I will show you some ARTISTS and poets who wrote about this topic and why.



The American Dream


What is the American Dream?

There isn’t a definition for all (WAS WOLLTEST DU DA SAGEN? - DEN SINN DES SATZES VERSTEH ICH NICHT), but generally you can say that it’s the dream OF getting rich only BY your MANPOWER (Arbeitsleistung) and a big BELIEF . I think you all Know the famous sentence “from a dishwasher to a millionaire”. That’s the meaning behind the American Dream. But for sure everybody has another point of view. For some people it’s just the dream of living in freedom, for others IT IS the dream of getting rich. The BELIEF in this oppurtunity and freedom MADE many immigrants come to America in former times. They searched for gold or just worked hard to get rich. Many of them also came to America because they were PERSECUTED in their home countries. So they hoped for a better life in America. The myth that everything is possible is still alive today. Sure it may got true for some people, but in my opionion you can also go to Germany. There you have almost the same chances to get much money for your work. Today the work situation in the USA isn’t as good as most people maybe think.


Where does the American DREAM come from?

The American Dream had his peak season in the first half of the 20th century during the ECONOMIC UPTURN (?!) of the USA. For many emigrants it was the hope FOR a new better life in the USA. The american dream has been brought to the USA by the Pilgrim Fathers. They were settlers who escaped from their countries because they couldn’t live their religion IN THEIR HOME COUNTRIES. On the 5th August 1620 they started their journey in a big ship called “Mayflower”. A lot of the Pilgrim Fathers died on this long journey. But the people alive built a settlement. About 11 million people followed the Pilgrim Fathers over the Atlantic Ocean to America.


For which persons did the American Dream become true?

Sure, this big dream of freedom and BEING rich DIDN'T become true for all who believed in it. In the first half of the 20th century, when the ECONOMIC UPTURN TOOK PLACE, the American dream BECAME true for many people. They could search for gold, because in this time the train had been invented and so they could search for gold in a big area. Many found gold and became rich, but the opposite of this was that a lot of gold seekers died in mines while SEARCHING for gold. Some couldn’t get enough gold and FINALLY got addicted to the search of gold. So many destroyed their LIVES.
Today the American Dream has changed into a kind of a nightmare. IN OUR SOCIETY you can only become rich if you have rich parents with a shop or if you have a good school education. But a good school education is very expensive and so you must have enough money. It’s a doom loop.
The idea behind the American Dream is that you have to work hard to get money. So THOSE people who have money say, that poor people (BETTER: THAT THE POOR) ARE JUST LAZY. That’s of course a big problem and the MAIN REASON why the USA hasn’t got a social net like Germany. (--> Die Aussage des Satzes ist unlogisch. Du sagst, dass Amerika deswegen kein soziales Netz hat, weil die Reichen sagen, dass die Armen nur faul sind. >> Und das kann nicht stimmen!!!!)


Mir ist ein genereller Fehler bei dir aufgefallen:

the people = das Volk

Wenn du aber im Englischen "Leute" sagen willst, dann MUSS "people" ohne Artikel stehen.

Hoff, ich hab dir helfen können und alle Fehler gefunden:

lg kiki
simkess



Anmeldungsdatum: 02.12.2005
Beiträge: 3

BeitragVerfasst am: 04. Dez 2005 17:27    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

Big THX! Echt super vielen Dank. Ich brauch nur noch ein paar Dichter/Gedichte und Künstler oder so die über den american dream schrieben.
simkess



Anmeldungsdatum: 02.12.2005
Beiträge: 3

BeitragVerfasst am: 06. Dez 2005 15:05    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

juhu eurocom ist vorbei und ich will euch meine note nicht vorenthalten: 1,1!
Thx für eure Hilfe.
SJAS



Anmeldungsdatum: 03.12.2005
Beiträge: 4
Wohnort: Nordhessen

BeitragVerfasst am: 06. Dez 2005 17:06    Titel: Antworten mit Zitat

hey das freut mich für dich

hast aber auch gute vorarbeit geleistet Augenzwinkern

_________________
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are
--- Joseph Campbell


~~~I LOVE ENGLAND~~~
debbiebp
Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 07. Dez 2005 19:57    Titel: fix my text Antworten mit Zitat

I think I can help you. I teach English in the US, and just happened upon your text when I was looking for a definition of a German word. Good luck finding some supporting artists. You might want to include people like Donald Trump or the Rockefellers to illustrate wealthy people. I'm sure if you look for Appalachian art (poor people in the mountains who work in coal mines) , that would illustrate poor people who work hard. GOOD LUCK!!! Below is the correction:

Hello together, my name is xxxxxx. I come from Ennetach. It’s near Mengen and between the Lake Constance (don't put "of" between the lake and the name) and Stuttgart. My hobbies are computers, the rifle club, walking with my dog and parties (y changes to i before you make it plural). Today I will present my topic “the American dream”.
First I’ll explain to you what the American dream is, then where it comes from (I think you probably learned to never put a preposition at the end, but this IS what Americans do) and after that for which persons it came true. At the end I will present some artists and poets who wrote about this topic and why they did.



The American dream


What is the American dream?

There isn’t a definition for all, but generally you can say that it’s the dream to get rich with only your work ethic and a big belief that you will succeed. I think you all know the famous sentence “from dishwasher to millionaire”. That’s the meaning behind the American dream. But for sure everybody has another point of view. For some people it’s just the dream of living in freedom, for others the dream of getting rich. The belief in this oppurtunity and freedom led many immigrants to come to America. They searched for gold or just worked hard to get rich. Many of them also came to America because they were persecuted in their countries. So they hoped for a better life in America. The myth that all is possible is today still alive. Sure it may be true for some people, but in my opionion you can go also to Germany. There you have almost the same chances to earn much money for your work. Today the work situation in the USA isn’t as good as many people may think.


Where comes the American dream from?

The American dream had his peak season in the first half of the 20th century when the economy upswing of the USA. (Actually, the American dream has roots in the 17th and 18th centuries) It was for many emigrants the hope of a new better life in the USA. The American dream was brought to the USA by the Pilgrims. They were settlers who escaped from their countries because in their home countries they couldn’t practice their religion. On the 5th of August 1620 they started their journey in a big ship called the “Mayflower”. A lot of the Pilgrims died during this long journey. But the people who survived built a settlement. About 11 million people followed the Pilgrims over the Atlantic to America during the next couple centuries.


For which persons did the American dream become true?

Sure, this big dream of freedom and beeing rich hadn’t come true for all who believed in it. In the first half of the 20th century, when the economy was in an upswing, the American dream came true for many people. They could search for gold, because in this time the train had been invented and so they could search in the west for gold. Many found gold and became rich, but the downfall of this was that a lot of gold seekers died in mines by searching gold. Some couldn’t get enough from gold, they got adicted to the search of gold. Therefore, many destroyed their lifes.
Today the american dream has been transformed into a kind of nightmare. In the society of the 21th century you can only become rich if you have rich parents with a shop or if you have a good school education. But a good school education is very expensive and so you must have enough money. It’s a vicious circle.
The idea behind the American dream is that you have to work hard to get money. So the people with money say, that the poor people are lazy. That’s a big problem especially because the USA doesn't have as wide a social net as germany.


Important artists/poets who wrote about this topic.

Some artists and poets worked with this topic. I want to show you some and explain you why they did it.
kikira
Gast





BeitragVerfasst am: 11. Dez 2005 16:27    Titel: Re: fix my text Antworten mit Zitat

debbiebp hat Folgendes geschrieben:
I think I can help you. I teach English in the US, and just happened upon your text when I was looking for a definition of a German word. Good luck finding some supporting artists. You might want to include people like Donald Trump or the Rockefellers to illustrate wealthy people. I'm sure if you look for Appalachian art (poor people in the mountains who work in coal mines) , that would illustrate poor people who work hard. GOOD LUCK!!! Below is the correction:

Hello together, my name is xxxxxx. I come from Ennetach. It’s near Mengen and between the Lake Constance (don't put "of" between the lake and the name) and Stuttgart. My hobbies are computers, the rifle club, walking with my dog and parties (y changes to i before you make it plural). Today I will present my topic “the American dream”.
First I’ll explain to you what the American dream is, then where it comes from (I think you probably learned to never put a preposition at the end, but this IS what Americans do) and after that for which persons it came true. At the end I will present some artists and poets who wrote about this topic and why they did.



The American dream


What is the American dream?

There isn’t a definition for all, but generally you can say that it’s the dream to get rich with only your work ethic and a big belief that you will succeed. I think you all know the famous sentence “from dishwasher to millionaire”. That’s the meaning behind the American dream. But for sure everybody has another point of view. For some people it’s just the dream of living in freedom, for others the dream of getting rich. The belief in this oppurtunity and freedom led many immigrants to come to America. They searched for gold or just worked hard to get rich. Many of them also came to America because they were persecuted in their countries. So they hoped for a better life in America. The myth that all is possible is today still alive. Sure it may be true for some people, but in my opionion you can go also to Germany. There you have almost the same chances to earn much money for your work. Today the work situation in the USA isn’t as good as many people may think.


Where comes the American dream from?

The American dream had his peak season in the first half of the 20th century when the economy upswing of the USA. (Actually, the American dream has roots in the 17th and 18th centuries) It was for many emigrants the hope of a new better life in the USA. The American dream was brought to the USA by the Pilgrims. They were settlers who escaped from their countries because in their home countries they couldn’t practice their religion. On the 5th of August 1620 they started their journey in a big ship called the “Mayflower”. A lot of the Pilgrims died during this long journey. But the people who survived built a settlement. About 11 million people followed the Pilgrims over the Atlantic to America during the next couple centuries.


For which persons did the American dream become true?

Sure, this big dream of freedom and beeing rich hadn’t come true for all who believed in it. In the first half of the 20th century, when the economy was in an upswing, the American dream came true for many people. They could search for gold, because in this time the train had been invented and so they could search in the west for gold. Many found gold and became rich, but the downfall of this was that a lot of gold seekers died in mines by searching gold. Some couldn’t get enough from gold, they got adicted to the search of gold. Therefore, many destroyed their lifes.
Today the american dream has been transformed into a kind of nightmare. In the society of the 21th century you can only become rich if you have rich parents with a shop or if you have a good school education. But a good school education is very expensive and so you must have enough money. It’s a vicious circle.
The idea behind the American dream is that you have to work hard to get money. So the people with money say, that the poor people are lazy. That’s a big problem especially because the USA doesn't have as wide a social net as germany.


Important artists/poets who wrote about this topic.

Some artists and poets worked with this topic. I want to show you some and explain you why they did it.


Dear Debbie,

Constance is not the name of the lake, but it is the name of the town nearby. So there MUST be an "of".



Do you really think, that addicted is spelt like that?: adicted

And the word "being" is not spelt: beeing

THE POOR PEOPLE is not correct.

Furthermore it is: Germany - not germany.

And finally:
It must be: their liVes - not: their lifes.

Do you really teach English? Hard to believe.

lg kiki
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