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Chocolate
Anmeldungsdatum: 20.09.2011
Beiträge: 8
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 Verfasst am: 20. Sep 2011 19:27 Titel: Writing a charakterprofile |
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Meine Frage:
Writing a charakerprofile
about Shug is a charaker from the bool the couler pourple
Meine Ideen:
Her real name is Lillie. Now she is called Shug, because she is so sweet.
One thing, Shug?s mother hated about her was how much she love to fuck. She never love to do so nothing has anything to do with touching nobody. As she try to kiss her, she turn her moth away. Her daddy love her kiss and hug., but her mother did not like the looks of that.
She is following in love with Albert. But his father did not allow Albert to marry her. Because she is three children, by the way Albert is the father but Albert?s father dd not believe. After her birth of her three children they turned her out. Shug stayed with her mother wilder sister in Memphis, she is like Shug she drink, she fight, she love mens to death.
And as Albert married a other woman she did not take care. She fuck him also. Shug loves her freedom. Enjoys her live and fight for things she love and want to have. She loves singing and dancing.
I think she is a very strong person she say what she things and I like people who do that.
wäre toll, wenn mir jem. die Fehler sagen würde, und ob es so passt oder auch noch etw. am Inhalt ändern soll. |
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Eris
Anmeldungsdatum: 25.08.2011
Beiträge: 73
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| Verfasst am: 20. Sep 2011 22:50 Titel: Re: Writing a charakterprofile |
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| Chocolate hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Her real name is Lillie. Now she is called Shug, because she is so sweet.
One thing, Shugs mother hated about her was how much she loves to fuck.
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Ist halt die Frage ob es in der Vergangenheit stehen soll, oder Gegenwart, so oder so muss am Ende von "love" entweder ein "d" hin für Vergangenheit oder ein "s" für simple present.
| Zitat: | | She never love to do so nothing has anything to do with touching nobody. |
Den Satz verstehe ich nicht.
| Zitat: |
As she try to kiss her, she turn her moth away. Her daddy love her kiss and hug., but her mother did not like the looks of that.
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When she tried (or tries für present) to kiss her, she turned (or turnes) her mouth away. Her daddy loves to kiss and hug her but her mother doesn't like to see this happen.
| Zitat: |
She is following in love with Albert. But his father did not allow Albert to marry her. Because she is three children, by the way Albert is the father but Albert?s father dd not believe. After her birth of her three children they turned her out.
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Weil sie drei Kinder ist? Was meinst du damit?
| Zitat: |
Shug stayed with her mother wilder sister in Memphis, she is like Shug she drink, she fight, she love mens to death. |
Die Verben "like" "drink" "fight und "love" mit s, also likes, drinks, fights and loves.
Men dagegen ohne s, weil es bereits Mehrzahl ist und kein s mehr braucht.
| Zitat: |
And as Albert married an other woman she did not take care. She fucked him also. Shug loves her freedom. Enjoys her live and fights for things she loves and wants to have. She loves singing and dancing.
I think she is a very strong person she says what she thinks and I like people who do that.
wäre toll, wenn mir jem. die Fehler sagen würde, und ob es so passt oder auch noch etw. am Inhalt ändern soll. |
Du musst mehr auf die dritte Person Singular im Präsenz achten, da ist immer ein "s": she does, she likes, she drinks, she thinks (übrigens mit einem "k", denn mit "g" heißt es "Ding" und nicht "denken". |
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Chocolate
Anmeldungsdatum: 20.09.2011
Beiträge: 8
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| Verfasst am: 22. Sep 2011 19:18 Titel: |
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okay vielen Dank 
bist du so lieb und korrigierst du mir diesen Text auch noch?
würde mich sehr freuen
The first scene
In my opinion was the beginning of the text very shocking. The father of Celie have a very dominant character trait. The behavior to her wife show it. She has even get birth and he only thing he thinks was him. He did not take consideration, He want having sex, but she was not ready. And so Celie must do what her mother did not wanted. He told Celie to trim his hair in a room, nobody normally came in and suddenly he have sex with her.
And has she get pregnant her daddy told to her mother that she has a boyfriend. So she get angry white Celie. As she did she was in fear of her sister. So she told her she should marry Mr. But her father did it not allow because Celie is the older one so she should marry first. And Nette should to schooling things. It came that Mr. married Celie. |
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Eris
Anmeldungsdatum: 25.08.2011
Beiträge: 73
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| Verfasst am: 22. Sep 2011 23:21 Titel: |
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| Chocolate hat Folgendes geschrieben: | okay vielen Dank
bist du so lieb und korrigierst du mir diesen Text auch noch?
würde mich sehr freuen
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Kein Problem.
| Zitat: |
The first scene
In my opinion the beginning of the text is very shocking. The father of Celie has a very dominant character trait. The behavior to his wife shows it. She has given birth just lately and the only thing he thinks of is himself. He does not take consideration, he wants to have sex, even though she is not ready. And so Celie must do what her mother does not want to do. He told Celie to trim his hair in a room, nobody normally came in and suddenly he has sex with her.
And as she gets pregnant her daddy told her mother that she has a boyfriend. So she gets angry with
Celie.
As she did she was in fear of her sister.(verstehe den Satz nicht)
So she told her she should marry Mr. But her father did not allow it because Celie is the older one so she should marry first. And Nette should do schooling things. It came that Mr. married Celie. |
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Chocolate
Anmeldungsdatum: 20.09.2011
Beiträge: 8
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| Verfasst am: 23. Sep 2011 05:10 Titel: |
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Vielen Dank |
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