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fabpla
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.01.2011
Beiträge: 26
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 Verfasst am: 07. März 2011 17:58 Titel: Colour day! |
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Meine Frage:
Könnte mal einer in meinem Text jemand nach Grammatik und Rechtschreibfehlern suchen?
Danke!!! :)
Meine Ideen:
Colour day
I got up in the morning and knew straightaway - it was a dark day. I hate dark days. They are like torture. I'm sure this day will bring bad luck for me.
I got up and looked for my toothbrush but I didn't found it. I looked under my desk and on my desk. After a few minutes I stooped searching. I looked at the clock. It was half past seven, I must hurry up!
On the way to school I saw a black cat crossing the street. ?Oh no!!! A black cat!!!,? I thought. I hat black cats.
Right beside our school I saw our teacher Ms. Earner. She was wearing a lousy black coat. ?Such a stupid teacher!?
In the last lessen we had the first English test this year Ms. Darner explained everything to us but I was always thinking of the black cat and Mr. Earner's black coat.
This was the worst day in life. I hope tomorrow will be a green day. I love green days and maybe I get an A in my test.  |
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ruri14
Anmeldungsdatum: 28.11.2010
Beiträge: 63
Wohnort: Tirol
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| Verfasst am: 08. März 2011 09:51 Titel: Re: Colour day! |
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| fabpla hat Folgendes geschrieben: | Colour day
I got up in the morning and knew straight away - it was a dark day. I hate dark days. They are like torture. I'm (was) sure this day will bring bad luck for me. ( du musst dich entscheiden: Past oder Present...)
I got (After I got up) up and (I) looked for my toothbrush but I didn't found it. I looked under my desk and on my desk. After a few minutes I stooped searching. I looked at the clock. It was half past seven, I must hurry up!
On the way to school I saw a black cat crossing the street. "Oh no!!! A black cat!!!", I thought. I hat (hatte? nein: hate, ich würde aber schreiben: I don't like) black cats.
Right beside our school I saw our teacher Ms. Earner. She was wearing a lousy black coat. "Such a stupid teacher! " I thought
In the last lesson we had the first English test this year. Mrs. Darner explained everything to us but I was always thinking of the black cat and Mr. Earner's black coat.
(Sind Mrs. Darner und Mr. Earner unterschiedliche Personen?)
This was the worst day in my life. I hope tomorrow will be a green day. I love green days and maybe I get an A in my test. |
Ich habe es mal versucht 
Verbesserungen in Rot. |
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fabpla
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.01.2011
Beiträge: 26
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| Verfasst am: 08. März 2011 17:46 Titel: |
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Danke.
Die beiden Namen sind unterschiedlich! |
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ruri14
Anmeldungsdatum: 28.11.2010
Beiträge: 63
Wohnort: Tirol
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| Verfasst am: 08. März 2011 20:00 Titel: |
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Bitte gerne
Ok. Aber vielleicht kann noch jemand drüber schauen? Ich bin da auch nicht so der Profi
Bzw. mein Englisch ist nicht so gut
LG ruri |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 08. März 2011 22:25 Titel: Re: Colour day! |
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Ich korrigiere dann mal ein bisschen weiter - jetzt in blau:
| ruri14 hat Folgendes geschrieben: | | fabpla hat Folgendes geschrieben: | Colour day
I got up in the morning and knew straight away - it was a dark day. I hate dark days. Den Bindestrich finde ich da etwas komisch, aber egal. They are like torture. I'm (was) sure this day will bring bad luck for me. ( du musst dich entscheiden: Past oder Present...) Jau, bei Vergangenheit dann bitte aber auch "this day would bring...".
I got (After I got up) up and (I) looked for my toothbrush but I didn't find it. "didn't" ist ja schon past tense, da braucht's kein zweites Wort. I looked under my desk and on my desk. After a few minutes I stopped searching. I looked at the clock. It was half past seven, I had to hurry up! (Vergangenheit von "must" ist ungefähr "had to")
On the way to school I saw a black cat crossing the street. "Oh no!!! A black cat!!!", I thought. I hat (hatte? nein: hate, ich würde aber schreiben: I don't like) black cats.
Right beside our school I saw our teacher Ms. Earner. She was wearing a lousy black coat. "Such a stupid teacher! " I thought
In the last lesson we had the first English test this year. Mrs. Darner explained everything to us but I was always thinking of the black cat and Mr. Earner's black coat.
(Sind Mrs. Darner und Mr. Earner unterschiedliche Personen?)
This was the worst day in my life. I hope tomorrow will be a green day. I love green days and maybe I'll get an A in my test. Vielleicht auch da im Futur besser, aber es könnte sogar so gehen. |
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Gruß
MI |
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fabpla
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.01.2011
Beiträge: 26
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| Verfasst am: 09. März 2011 16:13 Titel: |
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Danke |
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fabpla
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.01.2011
Beiträge: 26
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| Verfasst am: 12. März 2011 13:55 Titel: |
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Okay, Ich hab den Text nocheinmal verbessert, bin mir aber nicht sicher, ob schon alle Fehler "umgebracht" wurden. 
Colour day
I got up in the morning and knew straightaway - it was a dark day. I hate dark days. They are like torture. I was sure this day would bring bad luck for me.
I got up and I looked for my toothbrush but I didn't find it. I looked under my desk and on my desk. After a few minutes I stopped searching. I looked at the clock. It was half past seven, I had to hurry up!
On the way to school I saw a black cat crossing the street. “Oh no!!! A black cat!!!” I thought. I don’t like black cats.
Right beside our school I saw our teacher Mrs. Earner. She was wearing a lousy black coat. “Such a stupid teacher!” I thought.
In the last lesson we had the first English test this year Mrs. Darner explained everything to us but I was always thinking of the black cat and Mrs. Earner's black coat.
This was the worst day in my life. I hope tomorrow will be a green day. I love green days and maybe I’ll get an A in my test. |
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fabpla
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.01.2011
Beiträge: 26
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| Verfasst am: 13. März 2011 08:42 Titel: |
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Kann bitte nochmal wer drüberlesen? |
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ruri14
Anmeldungsdatum: 28.11.2010
Beiträge: 63
Wohnort: Tirol
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| Verfasst am: 13. März 2011 11:51 Titel: |
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| fabpla hat Folgendes geschrieben: | Okay, Ich hab den Text nocheinmal verbessert, bin mir aber nicht sicher, ob schon alle Fehler "umgebracht" wurden.
Colour day
I got up in the morning and knew straightaway - it was a dark day. I hate dark days. They are like torture. I was sure this day would bring bad luck for me.
After I got up and looked for my toothbrush but I didn't find it. I looked under my desk and on my desk. After a few minutes I stopped searching. I looked at the clock. It was half past seven, I had to hurry up!
(Hm, ich würde das so schreiben:
After I got up, I looked for my toothbrush but I couln't find it.)
On the way to school I saw a black cat crossing the street. “Oh no!!! A black cat!!!” I thought. I don’t like black cats.
Right beside our school I saw our teacher Mrs. Earner. She was wearing a lousy black coat. “Such a stupid teacher!” I thought.
In the last lesson we had the first English test this year. Mrs. Darner explained everything to us but I was always thinking of the black cat and Mrs. Earner's black coat.
This was the worst day in my life. I hope tomorrow will be a green day. I love green days and maybe I’ll get an A in my test. |
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dfhkl
Gast
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| Verfasst am: 13. März 2011 12:25 Titel: |
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Würde sonst alles passen? |
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ruri14
Anmeldungsdatum: 28.11.2010
Beiträge: 63
Wohnort: Tirol
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| Verfasst am: 13. März 2011 14:58 Titel: |
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? bist du fabpla?
Nun, sonst habe ich nichts gesehen, aber mein Englisch ist auch nicht das beste in der 9. Klasse |
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dfhkl (fabpla)
Gast
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| Verfasst am: 13. März 2011 15:08 Titel: |
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Ich bin fabpla. 
DANKE!!!  |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 13. März 2011 20:21 Titel: |
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Ja, ich denke auch, dass das sonst ganz gut aussieht. Vielleicht besser "During the last lesson", aber das andere müsste auch passen.
Gruß
MI |
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fabpla
Anmeldungsdatum: 07.01.2011
Beiträge: 26
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| Verfasst am: 14. März 2011 17:53 Titel: |
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DANKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  |
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