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brian
Anmeldungsdatum: 18.07.2008 Beiträge: 6
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Verfasst am: 11. Sep 2008 20:08 Titel: bitte korrigiert mal folgenden text :) wäre super nett! |
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My goals in life and how I'm going to reach them:
My personal goals in life are not that many. First of all, i would like to be pretty successful in my career. But instead of being a manager who hasn't got much time for his family, I would prefer having a well-paid job that makes living, without worries, possible. Of course, having an employment that offers a high income costs quite an effort but this no reason for me why I should not be able to reach this goal. In general, finishingschool with acceptable grades and having a good education is very important to me. Therefore, I will try to give my best to achieve everything I wish for. Furthermore, becoming an old man who is still able to manage daily problems without any help, is another goal in my life I would like to reach. I already stopped smoking and I live quite healthy to make this become true. Obviously, there is a lot more left to do, but in my opinion, I'm on the right way. |
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Goldenhind Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399
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Verfasst am: 12. Sep 2008 16:04 Titel: Re: bitte korrigiert mal folgenden text :) wäre super nett! |
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brian hat Folgendes geschrieben: | My goals in life and how I'm going to reach them:
My personal goals in life are not that many. First of all, i would like to be pretty successful in my career. But instead of being a manager who hasn't got much time for his family, I would prefer having a well-paid job that makes living, without worries, possible ich würde das "possible" vom Gefühl eher direkt hinter "makes" setzen . Of course, having an employment that offers a high income costs quite an effort but this is no reason for me why I should not be able to reach this goal. In general, finishingschool with acceptable grades and having a good education is very important to me. Therefore, I will try to give Achtung Denglisch! besser "do" my best to achieve everything I wish for. Furthermore, becoming an old man who is still able to manage daily problems without any help, is another goal in my life I would like to reach "I would like to reach" würde ich rausnehmen, das impliziert doch bereits der Begriff "goal", oder hast du auch Ziele, die du nicht erreichen möchtest?. I have already stopped smoking and I live quite healthily to make this become true. Obviously, there is a lot more left to do, but in my opinion, I'm on the right way. |
Ich hoffe, dir ist bewusst, dass du eher umgangssprachlich schreibst (Kurzformen, Wörter wie "pretty") |
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brian
Anmeldungsdatum: 18.07.2008 Beiträge: 6
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Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 19:16 Titel: |
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danke schön!
mh,ist das denn sooo umgangssprachlich geschrieben?
du meinst, pretty sollte mit "decent" etc ersetzt werden? |
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Goldenhind Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399
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Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 19:59 Titel: |
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Statt "pretty" würde ich in diesem Fall z.B. "fairly" benutzen. Das störendste sind aber sicherlich die Kurzformen. |
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brian
Anmeldungsdatum: 18.07.2008 Beiträge: 6
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Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 20:07 Titel: |
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kurzformen?
also I'm?
hauptsächlich habe ich nämlich versucht, solche formen zu gebrauchen nur dachte ich mir hier, dass es eher ungewöhnlich ist "I am" zu schreiben |
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Goldenhind Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006 Beiträge: 399
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Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 20:40 Titel: |
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Ja genau, "I'm" und "hasn't" solltest du besser ausschreiben, weil es sonst eben Umgangssprache ist. |
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