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mathias22
Anmeldungsdatum: 24.09.2007
Beiträge: 2
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 Verfasst am: 24. Sep 2007 16:10 Titel: Summary: Cat in the Rain |
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hi,
ich habe eine Summary dazu geschrieben. ist si Ok. Sind Fehler drinn?
Summary: “Cat in the Rain”
The short story “Cat in the Rain” was written by E. Hemmingway in 1938 and focuses on an young American couple that spends their honeymoon in an Italian Hotel. It is raining outside, when the young girl sees an cat outside, that protect under a Table. She wants to help that Cat and so she runs outside and on their way she meets the Hotelkeeper, she likes. But when she is outside there is no Cat anywhere. So she returns into her room and has a conversation with her husband and wants to change her whole Life. At last there stands the maid in front oft the door with a cat in her arms. |
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Goldenhind
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006
Beiträge: 399
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| Verfasst am: 24. Sep 2007 16:23 Titel: Re: Summary: Cat in the Rain |
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| mathias22 hat Folgendes geschrieben: | | The short story “Cat in the Rain” was written by E. Hemmingway in 1938 and focuses on a young American couple that spends ich würde "who spend" hier schöner finden their honeymoon in an Italian hotel. It is raining outside, when the young girl "young girl" ist vermutlich nicht ganz die treffende Bezeichnung für eine verheiratete Frau... sees a (an nur vor Vokalen)cat outside, that seeks shelter under a table (im Englischen nur Eigennamen groß schreiben, keine normalen Substantive). She wants to help that cat and so she runs outside and on her way she meets the hotelkeeper, (whom) she likes. But when she is outside there is no cat anywhere. So she returns into her room and has a conversation with her husband and wants to change her whole life. At last the maid stands in front of the door with a cat in her arms. |
Das Wort "outside" benutzt du für meinen Geschmack ein wenig zu oft, das kannst du in dne meisten Fälklen weglassen. Außerdem sind die Konjuktionen, die du benutzt nicht sonderlich abwechslungsreich. Statt "so" kann man am Satzanfang z.B. auch gut "therefore" schreiben. |
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mathias22
Anmeldungsdatum: 24.09.2007
Beiträge: 2
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| Verfasst am: 24. Sep 2007 16:40 Titel: |
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hier nochmal die neue Version:
The short story “Cat in the Rain” written by E. Hemmingway in 1938 focuses on a young American couple who spend their honeymoon in an Italian hotel. It is raining, when the girl sees a cat outside, that seeks shelter under a table. Wanting to help that cat and so she runs outside. On her way she meets the hotelkeeper, in which she is interested in. But when she is outside there is no cat anywhere. So she returns into her room and has a conversation with her husband and wants to change her whole life. At last the maid stands in front of the door with a cat in her arms. |
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Goldenhind
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 17.08.2006
Beiträge: 399
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| Verfasst am: 24. Sep 2007 21:38 Titel: |
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Das "wanting to help" geht so nicht. Deine ursprüngliche Version war hier in Ordnung.
Bei "in which she is interested" ist das "which" falsch, das man nicht für Personen verwendet; stattdessen hier "whom". |
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