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Harry Schlotter
Anmeldungsdatum: 26.04.2007
Beiträge: 1
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 Verfasst am: 26. Apr 2007 20:33 Titel: My texts |
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hi ich würde mich freuen wenn ihr diesse texte korrigieren könntet und mir sagen könntet ob sie sehr gut sind...
ich brache nämlich eie 1 (niveau:8.klasse)
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IMMIGRANTS
In former times, there were many persons who wanted to immigrate in the USA.These humans were often out of work and had a very hard life.Some of them were even persecuted in their native countries, because of political or religious reasons.Anyway,everyone hoped for better living conditions.That's why they all put up with a ver uncomfortable and unhygienicle way to the U.S.But when the immigrants finally arrived Ellis Island, they all forgot their suffers.Being on Ellis Island and beeing allowed to immigrate was very important for everyone.But unfortunately people didn't get a permisson, if they were sick, illiraters or previosly convicted.
NeWYoRk
I want to visit New York sometime, because I think seeing such a giant town would be a great and unique expierience for me.Furthermore I'd also like to see its incredible sights,like for example the "Empire State Building, which is really high or the Statue of Liberty that takes place on Liberty Island.Unfortunately, I am not able to see the twin towers- because of 9/11, but nevertheless I'd like to view its monuments.Additionly I would visit some famous museums, if I was in New York.I think I'd be facinated, if I watched the National Museum of Art or the Hall of fame.
To sum up, I'd like to visit NewYork, because I think it would be a great and wonderful expierience for me. |
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Jack
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 09.04.2006
Beiträge: 549
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| Verfasst am: 28. Apr 2007 18:30 Titel: Re: My texts |
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| Harry Schlotter hat Folgendes geschrieben: | IMMIGRANTS
In former times, there used to be (klingt besser) many people ("people" ist die korrekte Mehrzahl von "person") who wanted to immigrate to the USA. These humans (humans klingt finde ich noch nicht ganz perfekt, besser "immigrants" oder ähnliches nehmen) were often out of work and had a very hard life. Some of them were even persecuted in their home countries because of political or religious reasons. Anyway, everyone hoped for better living conditions. That is (ohne Kurzformen ist immer besserer Stil) why they all put up with a very uncomfortable and unsanitary way to the U.S. (Was genau soll der Satz bedeuten? Ist mir nicht ganz klar) But when the immigrants finally arrived at Ellis Island, they all forgot their suffering. Being on Ellis Island and being allowed to immigrate was very important to everyone. But unfortunately people did not get a permisson if they were sick, illiraters (meinst du "illiterates"?) or previosly convicted.
NeWYoRk
I want to visit New York sometime because I think seeing such a giant town would be a great and unique expierience for me. Furthermore, I would like to see its incredible sights, like the "Empire State Building for example, which is really high, or the Statue of Liberty that can be found on Liberty Island. Unfortunately, I will not be able to see the twin towers because of 9/11, but nevertheless I would like to view the monuments. Additionally, I would visit some famous museums if I was in New York. I think I would be fascinated if I watched the National Museum of Art or the Hall of Fame.
To sum up, I would like to visit NewYork, because I think it would be a great and wonderful experience for me. |
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