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Lischen
Anmeldungsdatum: 16.07.2004
Beiträge: 32
Wohnort: Wolfsburg
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 Verfasst am: 29. Sep 2004 17:45 Titel: |
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| Zitat: | | ....they made plans how they could get to the .... |
...spring of eternal youth, which they read about in... |
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 29. Sep 2004 19:42 Titel: |
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| Lischen hat Folgendes geschrieben: | | Zitat: | | ....they made plans how they could get to the .... |
...spring of eternal youth, which they read about in... |
... an internet based bulletin board called "englischboard", where ... |
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Ulli
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389
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| Verfasst am: 30. Sep 2004 13:40 Titel: |
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| norb hat Folgendes geschrieben: | | Lischen hat Folgendes geschrieben: | | Zitat: | | ....they made plans how they could get to the .... |
...spring of eternal youth, which they read about in... |
... an internet based bulletin board called "englischboard", where ...
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.....all the magic hints were given they needed for their special...
LG Ulli 
_________________
LG Ulli
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb |
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 03. Okt 2004 20:01 Titel: Once upon a time ... |
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Once upon a time there was a little dwarf who lived in a dark cave but suddenly the cave was left open by the creatures, who fed him delicious cheese muffins made by his very old grandmother who is normally sitting in a rocking chair close to the entrance but today she was very busy baking for the guests which she had invited yesterday for the annual Halloween party at Tubby's her favorite fast-food restaurant in 7th Street near the graveyard where all her best friends were buried and where a nice dwarf whom she fancied was keeper of the keys. She used to visit him every week and during those visits they made plans how they could get to the spring of eternal youth, which they read about in an internet based bulletin board called "englischboard", where all the magic hints were given they needed for their special ...
... plan. The little dwarf meanwhile, innocent as a child that he still was and unaware of
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Thomas
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 18.06.2004
Beiträge: 221
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| Verfasst am: 03. Okt 2004 20:27 Titel: |
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... the awaiting dangers ... |
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Ulli
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389
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| Verfasst am: 03. Okt 2004 21:24 Titel: |
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... the awaiting dangers ...
....he felt to come soon. That's why the little dwarf rushed to....
LG Ulli
_________________
LG Ulli
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb |
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Gast
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| Verfasst am: 03. Okt 2004 22:58 Titel: |
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| Ulli hat Folgendes geschrieben: | ... the awaiting dangers ...
....he felt to come soon. That's why the little dwarf rushed to....
LG Ulli |
Tubby´s. Simmering with excitement at the thought of ... |
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Ulli
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389
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| Verfasst am: 04. Okt 2004 10:12 Titel: |
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...Tubby´s. Simmering with excitement at the thought of ...
....the arrival of the ten best-known and most feared....
LG Ulli 
_________________
LG Ulli
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb |
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 04. Okt 2004 15:11 Titel: Once upon a time ... |
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....the arrival of the ten best-known and most feared....
... heckawhits and whickslingers who live in the dark woods east of Loch Darioth until ...
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Lischen
Anmeldungsdatum: 16.07.2004
Beiträge: 32
Wohnort: Wolfsburg
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| Verfasst am: 04. Okt 2004 16:03 Titel: |
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| Zitat: | | ... heckawhits and whickslingers who live in the dark woods east of Loch Darioth until ... |
... yesterday, when big, loud, stinky, fearfull ...
_________________
~{Lischen}~ |
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 04. Okt 2004 17:22 Titel: Once upon a time ... |
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... yesterday, when big, loud, stinky, fearfull ...
Crooch delivered grandma´s invitation. Hastily ... |
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 18. Okt 2004 14:59 Titel: Once upon a time ... |
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| Zitat: | Prompter:
Couch - harruph - couch
Hastily .... 
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 27. Okt 2004 09:39 Titel: Once upon a time ... |
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Seems that the story goes down the  Bye! |
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Ulli
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389
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| Verfasst am: 27. Okt 2004 10:53 Titel: story |
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You're right norb, that's what I've been thinking the last couple of days.
Maybe it's too much fantasy  , it's also hard for me to continue.
Let's wait another day... 
LG Ulli
_________________
LG Ulli
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb |
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 27. Okt 2004 14:57 Titel: Once upon a time ... |
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I´m just a bit disapointed. I must admit that I instantly fell in love with the concept and how the story was evolving. It´s sad that, without assistance of the others, the story will remain in the dark. The figures are not even half alive - yet not dead. I think they have a right to live! Call me romantic, but that´s just the way I feel about it. Nonetheless it´s not right to begin something and then leave it half finished.
It´s also been fun to test my limited English and improve it (again) sentence by sentence, idea by idea. I´d really appreciate it if someone could give the story a new chance. If it´s become too difficult, i´d suggest a twist in a way that enables us to discuss the story and it´s fate in a way that keeps the rule. Maybe like this:
Hastily ... . Ted, who had written the first sentences of his story within just a few minutes, paused, even held his breath, while he thought about how he could continue...
Let´s see .... |
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Thomas
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 18.06.2004
Beiträge: 221
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| Verfasst am: 27. Okt 2004 22:04 Titel: |
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I'm sorry, that i don't hace any clue how to continue. Perhaps we should translate it into german and then go on?
Greetings,
Thomas |
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Ulli
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389
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| Verfasst am: 28. Okt 2004 10:08 Titel: Story |
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Perhaps it takes too much time to read the entire story before anyone has an idea how to continue?
LG Ulli
_________________
LG Ulli
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb |
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norb
Anmeldungsdatum: 29.09.2004
Beiträge: 12
Wohnort: Neuburg/Do.
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| Verfasst am: 28. Okt 2004 14:28 Titel: Once upon a time ... |
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Maybe like this:
| Zitat: | Hastily ... . Ted, who had written the first sentences of his story within just a few minutes, paused, even held his breath, while he thought about how he could continue...
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but ... before poor Ted dies from asphyxiation ... let him take a deep breath while he starts reading:
| Zitat: |
Once upon a time there was a little dwarf who lived in a dark cave but suddenly the cave was left open by the creatures, who fed him delicious cheese muffins made by his very old grandmother who is normally sitting in a rocking chair close to the entrance but today she was very busy baking for the guests which she had invited yesterday for the annual Halloween party at Tubby's her favorite fast-food restaurant in 7th Street near the graveyard where all her best friends were buried and where a nice dwarf whom she fancied was keeper of the keys. She used to visit him every week and during those visits they made plans how they could get to the spring of eternal youth, which they read about in an internet based bulletin board called "englischboard", where all the magic hints were given they needed for their special plan. The little dwarf meanwhile, innocent as a child that he still was and unaware of the awaiting dangers he felt to come soon. That's why the little dwarf rushed to Tubby´s. Simmering with excitement at the thought of the arrival of the ten best-known and most feared heckawhits and whickslingers who live in the dark woods east of Loch Darioth until yesterday, when big, loud, stinky, fearfull Crooch delivered grandma´s invitation. Hastily ...
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... having finally reached the end of the story´s first sentence Ted though: "What a monster! Seems that Molly Bloom inspired me". He smiled. "Or is this .. sort of a brain damage?"
... we could use *Ted* to explain things, think about, even delete parts of the story. Maybe we could use Hyperlinks to explain things. What is your opinion?? |
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Ulli
Ehrenmoderator
Anmeldungsdatum: 03.07.2004
Beiträge: 1389
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| Verfasst am: 28. Okt 2004 16:45 Titel: story |
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Hi norb,
You're thinking a lot to improve the story's continuation, great. In my opinion it would be better to wait how everything will develop, on the other hand you shouldn't make it too difficult. Do you understand what I mean?
LG Ulli
_________________
LG Ulli
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb |
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