Fizzy Bottled Water
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2007
Beiträge: 1
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 Verfasst am: 22. Jan 2007 16:44 Titel: Englischkorrektur |
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Rita is sitting in Frank's office reading a book, when Frank comes in. He’s drunk and vociferously frets about the students who complained about him during his lecture. He’s totally confused. Rita explains him that this may have happened because he’s so drunk (benutzt man als Prädikativum afaik eher als "drunken" and the students dismiss Ich weiß nicht, ob das hier die passende Vokabel ist, "dismiss" hat ja als Grundbedeutung "entlassen" und das können die Studenten/Schüler wohl nicht... a drunken teacher. But Frank doesn’t accept it as a reason hier gehört wohl irgendein Satzzeichen hin he’s still blustering about the students. Rita realizes that he won’t understand it and decides to go, but before she can leave the room Frank is holding her back. He wants her to stay.
All of a sudden he seems to be sober and begins to talk about Rita’s essay. He shows her a part in here essay where she interprets the poem “The Blossom” completely different bin mir nicht sicher, ob hier statt differnet nicht differently stehen müsste than he would have done. They begin to discuss about the poem and their different interpretations of it. In Ritas opinion this poem is about sexuality, she tries to explain her interpretation to Frank. But he still tries to convince her of his own interpretation – because in his opinion this poem doesn’t have a deeper meaning. But when Rita asks what sort of mark she would get in an exam for this essay and Frank answers that she would get a good mark for this essay, Rita doesn’t understand why he’s making such a trouble of it.
In this moment she realizes that Frank can’t handle the situation that Rita has an different opinion like him about something.
Rita begins to explain that it’s good for her to have her own opinion and that this is exactly what he taught her all the time – being objective. She shows him by this conversation that she’s no longer the girl she was when she came to him for the first time.
In the end of this scene Frank tells Rita that he has read her book “Rubyfruit Jungle” and that he thinks it's amazing but Rita only laughs and says that it’s hardly excellent – then she leaves the room.
Anmerkung meinerseits: Das soll ja wohl offensichtlich eine freie Textproduktion sein.
Der Satzbau ist extrem einfach gehalten und oftmals sind Nebensätze unverbunden. Außerdem ist auffällig, dass viele Sätze gleich anfangen ("he" "Frank" "but" etc.).
Prinzipiell würde man also von einfallslosem Stil sprechen, aber ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob du das absichtlich machst.
Ach ja: Nebensätze ständig mit "that" einzuleiten ist typisches Englisch von Deutschen, native speaker machen das viel weniger.
MfG Goldenhind |
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