Zusammenfassung korrigieren

Physinetz · Anmeldungsdatum: 21.09.2006 Beiträge: 41

Hii !

Wollte mich mal vergewissern, dass ich keine Fehler in meinen Text eingebaut habe, deshalb würde ich gerne eure Unterstützung dazu heranziehen.

Vielleicht könntet ihr ja freundlicherweise Verbesserungsvorschläge in Sachen Sprache/Grammatik/Stil angeben.

Hier meine Textproduktion:

The hard times, when there was war and everybody had to fight for a house and money , is over. Today, most of them are better off and satisfied because they own those mentioned things. That's why life doesn't matter to them and they live from one day to the next.

But the appearances are deceptive. Vandalism and violence are on the agenda. Despite, people act as if it is normal to ignore their surroundings.
They give a damn about anything or anyone.

The reason for this is the gutter press which tell the people to earn more and more money. Then the people are told , what to spend the money for. This way, they become happy and they dismiss the problems they are confronted with.
And thus, the aim of the gutter press, to cover up the problems, is achieved.

Jo das wars. Ich weiß , ziemlich lang aber wäre nett wenn sich trotzdem jemand finden würde der mir bei der Fehlersuche hilft.

Dankeschööön

Lieber Gruß

lady89 · Anmeldungsdatum: 27.09.2006 Beiträge: 4 Wohnort: Steinfurt

Hallöchen,

also ich find den text nicht mal so schlecht! ehrlich, bis auf kleine fehler, sieht´s ganz ok aus!

The hard times, when there was war and everybody had to fight for a house and money , is over. Today most of them are better off and satisfied, because they own those mentioned things. That's why (their) life doesn't really interest them/ isn´t so important for them and they live from one day to the next / from day to day/ from one day to an other.

But the appearances are deceptive. Vandalism and violence are on the agenda. Despite, people act as if it is normal to ignore their surroundings.
They give a damn about anything or anyone.

The reason for this is the gutter press, which tells/ orders/ prescribes the people to earn more and more money. Then the people are told how to spend their money. This way/ thereby, they become happy and they dismiss the problems they are confronted with.
And thus, the aim of the gutter press, to cover up problems, is achieved.

mfg
özlem

Physinetz · Anmeldungsdatum: 21.09.2006 Beiträge: 41

ok vielen dank, andere Meinungen vielleicht noch?

AllEyesOnMe · Anmeldungsdatum: 18.10.2006 Beiträge: 1

The hard times, when there was war and everybody had to fight for a (better his die kämpfen ja nicht um irgendein haus sondern um ihres oder??) house and money , is ove). Today, most of them are better off and satisfied because they own those mentioned things. That's why life(sicher dass ihnen ihr leben nichts bedeutet? Wenn man von einem zum anderen Tag lebt bedeutet dass doch dass man das Leben auskosten will weil es einem etwas bedeutet. Für mich ist das ein Widerspruch) doesn't matter to them and they live from one day to the next.

But the appearances are deceptive. Vandalism and violence are on the agenda. Despite, people act as if it is normal to ignore their surroundings.
They give a damn about anything or anyone.
(Finde ich zu umgangsprachlich "they don't care oder they are not interessted)

The reason for this is the gutter press which tell (tells -> wegen which) the people to earn more and more money. Then (was meinst du hier mit then?könntest du sprachlicher bestimmt besser formulieren) the people are told , what to spend the (their) (du meinst ja "wofür sie ihr geld ausgeben sollen")money for. This way, they become happy and they dismiss (was meinst du hier mit dismiss? viell. solltest du ein anderes wort benutzen) the problems they are confronted with.
And thus, the aim of the gutter press,to cover up the problems, is achieved. (besser has been achieved)

Aber muss noch was dazu sagen,da ich deinen Text nicht kenne und die Aufgabenstellung ist es schwer dann Ratschläge für bessere Formulierungen zu geben.