 Verfasst am: 13. Apr 2011 18:32 Titel: Bitte um Korrektur!!!! |
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| Meine Frage: ich musste eine Geschichte aus einer anderer Perspektive schreiben. Kann mir jemand korrigieren und mir sagen was isch besser machen kann? Dankeschön My sister and I lay on top of our beds our supposedly doing homework. Above each bed hung a charcoal portrait our father had drawn. He had finished them just before he died. Now, only Jenny?s was a good likeness. Suddenly, I asked her if I can read her diary. ?Not now,? replied Jenny, closing the book and capping her ball point pen. I thought what a hell. ?Why I can?t read her diary. We?ve always read each other?s diaries.? ?You can read mine?, suggested I. ?I know what your diary says ? Ooh, I found a new mole today on my new body. Ooh, don?t my new armpits smell divine?? ?I don?t understand what she means. Does she find my new body ridiculous or does she mean I talk too much about my new body? No, probably she has got a secret and that?s way she talks like this. But why she doesn?t tell me the secret?? So, I said: ?Come on. What do you have, some secret in there?? ?I have to get to know you better?, replied she and slipped her diary between her mattress and box spring. ?Whaaat?! Doesn?t she trust me? Does she think I?m not the same person like before? I don?t understand the world. I?m still the same Alice. My mind is the same. My character is the same. Everything is the same apart from my body. Why Jenny doesn?t understand me. Why she think I?m a different person?? But I didn?t want show her that I was disappointed. So I said with a smile: ?Yeah, right.? But I realize that I wasn?t joking. ?What, fourteen years wasn?t enough?? I enquired further. ?You were in the hospital a long time, that?s all I mean?, was her answer. Meine Ideen: - |
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