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| Flo6346 |
 Verfasst am: 16. Jun 2014 15:49 Titel: Kleine Anmerkung |
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| MI hat Folgendes geschrieben: | So, ich habe mal ein bisschen korrigiert. Grün sind nur Vorschläge. Hoffentlich habe ich da ansonsten nicht zu viel übersehen  .
Gruß
MI
| lilli: hat Folgendes geschrieben: | ich habs mal selbst umgeändert
The short story „Locker 160” written by Lee Busselman treats the subject of harassment at school.
The two girls Karen and Julie decide to bully their classmate Miriam. At the beginning, they just play little tricks on Miriam by putting hate notes in her locker. mEn heißt es "to play tricks on sb." The girls find the reaction of their victim funny and can’t stop annoying her. Thus, they treat their classmate bad by writting notes or making a vodoo doll of her almost every day Meiner Meinung nach hört sich die Zeitangabe am Satzende besser an. Statt "they treat ... bad" könntest du auch "they mistreat their classmate" schreiben.
However this isn’t enough for them, they want to have more fun and because of this their tricks get worse. "more worse" ist doppelt gemoppelt. Zu Deutsch "mehr schlechter" - wäre es auch nicht gut.
They write a note to her which declares that she’s weird and is hated by all of her classmates, below this note they copy the signatures of their classmates.
While they wait for Miriam’s reaction in biology they realize that she won’t come (on) this day "today" heißt heute, meint aber das eher das Heute des Lesers, während man in Geschichten meist eher "this day", was quasi heute, aber nicht der Tag des Lesers meint, schreibt. Later they find out that Miriam has comitted suicide, but even then they find it funny and can’t restrain their laughter. |
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Eine inhaltliche Frage: Meines Verstehens nach hat Miriam zwar versucht Selbstmord zu begehen, allerdings gelang es ihr nicht: "She turned on the gas from all four stoves. They got her out just in time". Daher sollte der letzte Satz in deiner Zusammenfassung doch eher heißen: "…Miriam has TRIED to commit suicide." |
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| lilli: |
| Verfasst am: 16. Okt 2009 12:19 Titel: |
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| danke für deine hilfe |
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| MI |
| Verfasst am: 15. Okt 2009 18:11 Titel: |
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So, ich habe mal ein bisschen korrigiert. Grün sind nur Vorschläge. Hoffentlich habe ich da ansonsten nicht zu viel übersehen .
Gruß
MI
| lilli: hat Folgendes geschrieben: | ich habs mal selbst umgeändert
The short story „Locker 160” written by Lee Busselman treats the subject of harassment at school.
The two girls Karen and Julie decide to bully their classmate Miriam. At the beginning, they just play little tricks on Miriam by putting hate notes in her locker. mEn heißt es "to play tricks on sb." The girls find the reaction of their victim funny and can’t stop annoying her. Thus, they treat their classmate bad by writting notes or making a vodoo doll of her almost every day Meiner Meinung nach hört sich die Zeitangabe am Satzende besser an. Statt "they treat ... bad" könntest du auch "they mistreat their classmate" schreiben.
However this isn’t enough for them, they want to have more fun and because of this their tricks get worse. "more worse" ist doppelt gemoppelt. Zu Deutsch "mehr schlechter" - wäre es auch nicht gut.
They write a note to her which declares that she’s weird and is hated by all of her classmates, below this note they copy the signatures of their classmates.
While they wait for Miriam’s reaction in biology they realize that she won’t come (on) this day "today" heißt heute, meint aber das eher das Heute des Lesers, während man in Geschichten meist eher "this day", was quasi heute, aber nicht der Tag des Lesers meint, schreibt. Later they find out that Miriam has comitted suicide, but even then they find it funny and can’t restrain their laughter. |
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| lilli: |
| Verfasst am: 15. Okt 2009 13:40 Titel: |
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ich habs mal selbst umgeändert
The short story „Locker 160” written by Lee Busselman treats the subject of harassment at school.
The two girls Karen and Julie decide to bully their classmate Miriam. At the beginning they just play little tricks to Miriam by putting hate notes in her locker. The girls find the reation of their victim funny and can’t stop annoying her. So because of this they almost everyday treat their classmate bad by writting notes or making a vodoo doll of her.
However this isn’t enough for them, they want to have more fun and because of this their tricks get more worse.
They write a note to her which declares that she’s weird and is hated by all of her classmates, under this note they copy the signatures of their classmates.
While they wait for Miriam’s reaction in biology they realize that she won’t come today. Later they find out that Miriam has comitted suicide, but even then they find it funny and can’t restrain their laughter. |
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| lilli: |
| Verfasst am: 11. Okt 2009 14:56 Titel: short story/summary |
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hey
kann mir jemand bitte meine inhaltsangabe zur geschichte Locker 160 korrigieren? veränderungsvorschläge wären auch nicht schlecht
der text:iroesner.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/locker-160.doc
The short story „Locker 160” written by Lee Busselman is about two girls named Karen and Julie who bully their classmate Miriam by playing bad tricks on her.
At the beginning the two girls play little tricks on her like putting hate notes in Miriam’s locker. They find the reaction of their victim funny and can’t stop annoying her.
So they almost everyday treat her bad by putting marbles in her locker or making a vodoo doll of Miriam which they put in her locker. They enjoy the reaction of their vicitm and the tricks get more worser.
The girls write a note to her including the names of their classmates which declares that Miriam is weird and that they hate her. But while the girls wait for Miriam in biology class she doesn’t come. Later they find out that Miriam has comitted suicide, but that she is still alive. Even then they find the situation funny. |
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