 Verfasst am: 23. Aug 2009 22:16 Titel: Kann jemand meinen Text korrigieren? :S Wäre super :) |
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Hallo  Ich muss als Hausaufgabe eine Storyline zu der Kurzgeschichte "saturday afternoon" schreiben. Da mein Englisch nicht wirklich gut ist, wäre es nett wenn ihr meinen Text auf grammatik Fehler untersuchen könntet und wer die Geschichte kennt, mir vielleicht auch ein paar inhaltliche Tipps geben kann?! Danke schonmal im voraus. Mit freundlichen Grueßen Sunny1809  Storyline: Tom Denny is a butcher and always strechted out on the meatblock in his butchershop. The meatblock is the only comfortable place in the butcher shop so Tom relaxed awhile. There is no other butcher shop in the town. Tom brushed the flies off his face and tool a little snooze. Tom champs on his tobacco during he lies on his meatblock. The juice of his tobacco flow his throat down. He spit it out. As Tom had a snooze, Jim Baxter came from the Barbershop to Tom`s Butchershop. They were partner. Jim helps him on busy days. Jim and Tom spoke about to going down to the creek and kill the negro. Tom bound his shoesnand ran through the street behind Jim. Tom had his shotgun under his armm, and Jim had pulled the chooper from the meatblock. Tom get into a car, which drives down to the creek. Will was a smart guy and earns a lot of money with his cotton. He earns more money than Jim and Tom. Because of that, people donnt like him. As they found will, Tom shot at him with his shotgun as fast as he could. All the other men who comes with Tom and Jim had guns, too. They shot at Will. Wills body was filled with bullets.His body sagged from the neck where the trace chain held him up. After the massacre of Will, they put his body up in a tree.the the dead man hung on a limb. Tom and Jim went back to his town. They were in haste. They were several hours away and nobody was in their shops. It was almost 4 o`clock and the customers want to buy some meat. They workes together.[/b] |
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