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Goldenhind
Verfasst am: 11. Mai 2009 19:02
Titel: Re: Bitte korrigieren
panasync17mm hat Folgendes geschrieben:
Christopher Columbus and the discovery of America
Columbus was born in Italy in 1451. First he went to the
king of Italy
to ask him to spend
money
on
his expedition but
the king
said no and so
Columbus (wenn du ständig "he schreibst, weiß man irgendwann nciht mehr, wen du meinst)
went to the Spanish King. The Spanish king and his queen were interested in finding a sea-route to India and so they
were willing
to spen
d
a lot of money. But Columbus didn’t find India, he discovered America.
Columbus was born in Genoa. His father was a weaver and many people think that Columbus
had been (past perfect
a weaver when he was young, too. We don’t know when Columbus started being a sailor. It is possible; that Columbus sailed already
when
he was young, because Genoa had a big seaport. In 1476 he sailed together with some other ship to England. But they didn’t arrive
in
England. His ship sank but he could save himself and so he arrived
in
Lisbon. Since this moment he lived there. His brother lived and worked there, too. In 1479 he married the daughter
of
the governor of the island Porto Santo. The single child in this marriage was Diego Columbus.
In 1486 he met Queen Isabella. At this time he had lost his wife. He met Beatriz Enriquez and later he married her. Then
his second son Ferdinand was
born. The king didn’t want to help him. But he didn’t give up and so he was successful. In April
of
1492
the queen and the king told
him, that they would finance the expedition.
The expedition
consisted
of three ships. They started
on
the
3rd of August 1492
in Spain in a group of 90 men. In the evening of
October, the 12th
they could see land. And at the next day in the early morning they disembarked at an island. Later they called it San Salvador. A few weeks later they disembarked at Cuba and Haiti. Columbus thought, that
those
Islands were next to Asia. In December one ship was broken. The two other ships started the
journey back in
January in the year 1493. They arrived home in March. The king was happy and Columbus
got the privileges which they/he had promised
him.
In the last months of his life he was ill. He was really rich. He died in the year 1506 in Spain. He was a great man.
Ich habe jetzt nur die schwerwiegenden grammatikalischen Fehler berichtigt. Stilistisch ist der Text m.E. ebenfalls nicht sehr gelungen, zumal er eigentlich nur eine Aneinanderreihung von Hauptsätzen ohne verbindende Konjunktionen ist. Je nachdem, in welche Klasse du gehst, kann das aber noch in ordnung sein.
MfG Goldenhind
panasync17mm
Verfasst am: 11. Mai 2009 16:57
Titel: Bitte korrigieren
Kann mir jemand diesen Text korrigiern. Danke. Es ist dringend!
Hier ist der Text:
Christopher Columbus and the discovery of America
Columbus was born in Italy in 1451. First he went to the Italy’s king to spent money in his expedition but he said no and so he went to the Spanish King. The Spanish king and his queen were interested in finding a sea-route to India and so they would like to spent a lot of money. But Columbus didn’t find India, he discovered America.
Columbus was born in Genoa. His father was a weaver and many people think that Columbus has been a weaver when he was young, too. We don’t know when Columbus started being a sailor. It is possible; that Columbus sailed already he was young, because Genoa had a big seaport. In 1476 he sailed together with some other ship to England. But they didn’t arrive England. His ship sank but he could save himself and so he arrived Lisbon. Since this moment he lived there. His brother lived and worked there, too. In 1479 he married the daughter by the governor of the island Porto Santo. The single child in this marriage was Diego Columbus.
In 1486 he met Queen Isabella. At this time he had lost his wife. He met Beatriz Enriquez and later he married her. Then was his second son Ferdinand born. The king didn’t want to help him. But he didn’t give up and so he was successful. In April in 1492 told the queen and the king him, that they would finance the expedition.
The expedition existed of three ships. They started at the 3. August 1492 in Spain in a group of 90 men. In the evening of the 12.October they could see land. And at the next day in the early morning they disembarked at an island. Later they called it San Salvador. A few weeks later they disembarked at Cuba and Haiti. Columbus thought, that this Islands were next to Asia. In December one ship was broken. The two other ships started the return-journey at January in the year 1493. They arrived home in March. The king was happy and Columbus get the privileges with they had promise him.
In the last months of his life he was ill. He was really rich. He died in the year 1506 in Spain. He was a great man.