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[quote="Yellow"]Hi! Ich versuchs einfach mal mit deinem Text! Hoff es bringt dir was! [quote] THE AMERICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE It all started in the early 1600s when the British began to found colonies, by 1732 they had 13, in the "New Word", nowadays called America. For the reason that most of the colonists were loyal to the British crown, the relationship between the mother country and the colonists was good for both sides. The relationship was so good that the colonists fought side by side with the regular British troops, when Britain and France fought over land in America. In the end Britain won all the land east of the Mississipi River but still the war had proved expensive, so that Britain ws deeply in dept when it was over. That's why they had to think about how they xould take in money to pay their war dept.[/quote] [i]...so that Britain was deeply in [u]debt [/u]when it was over. That's why they had to think about how they could/how to [u]gain[/u] money to pay their war [u]debt[/u]. [/i] [quote]And they really found a way. The British wanted the colonies to pay a war dept for the reason that the war was fought for them. [/quote] [i]The British wanted the colonies to pay their [u]debts[/u] for the reason/as a consequence that the war was fought for them/in order to support them (or better: The British wanted the colonies to pay their debts in return for their support.)[/i] [quote]They also had to pay lots of taxes. The sugar act for example forced them to pay taxes on certain goods importes into America from outside the British Empire. [/quote] [i]They(who? the colonies?) also had to pay a lot of taxes. The sugar act,(?) for example, forced them to pay taxes/made them pay charges on certain goods that were imported into America from the British Empire.[/i] [quote]There was also a stamp act which force them to pay these taxes in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers. But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in British Parliament. And that's why they protest: No taxation without representation! [/quote] [i]There was also a stamp act(???) which [u]forced[/u] them to pay these fees in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers. (try to avoid the use of the word taxes. By the way, what do you mean by that? Druckgebühren??) But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in British Parliament. And that's why they [u]protested[/u]: No taxation without representation![/i] [quote](Und so kam es wie es kommen musste): the Boston massacre took place. The colonists began to protest against these taxes. The centre of this protest was Bosten and 4000 soldiers were sent there to calm down the troublemakers. And for the reason that soldiers shoot into the crowd after they had thrown stones of them and 5 people had to die this anti-British rot was called "a massacre". [/quote] [i]This followed an unavoidable consequence: As a result of the protests against taxes, an anti-British [u]riot[/u] took place. This revolt was later called the "Boston Massacre", firstly because the centre of this protests was Boston and secondly because the 4000 soldiers who had been sent there to calm down the troublemakers [u]shot [/u]into the crowd and thus killed five people after[u]some of the protestors had thrown [/u]stones [u]at[/u] them.[/i] [quote]The British react to this with a new law. Only the British-owned East India Company was able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because of the disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists threw tea from British ships into Boston Harbor to protest against all these wrongs. [/quote] [i]The British [u]reacted[/u] to this with a new law. Only the East Indian Companies owned by the British were able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because this disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists protested against the injustice again by throwing tea from British ships into Boston Harbor.[/i] [quote]Thus the Boston Tea Party marked the beginning of violence in the dispute between mother country and colonies. ´ The British wanted to arrest the anti-British leaders at Lexington and Concord and take away their guns. So British soldiers marched from Boston. But a signal from a lamp of the Boston church warned Paul Revere who rode to warn the people at Lexington and Concord and the first real battle of War of Independence took place and claimed 342 of lives. [/quote] [i]Another time, the British... So British soldiers marched from Boston(??What do you mean by that?). But one of the protestors was warned in time and managed to inform the people at Lexington and Concord (leave out unimportant details). (begin a new sentece here) Thus, the first [u]open[/u] battle of [u]the[/u] War of Independence took place(when?), which cost (why claimed??) 342 lives.[/i] [quote]In 1776 the thirteen colonies declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so. This "Declaration of Independence" contains a list of wrongs that should be righted. This time, the reaction by the British was more drastic: they declared war. [/quote] [i]...This "Declaration of Independence contained a list of injustices that should be put right. ...[/i] [quote]So, das war der Erste. Wir hatten Stichpunkte bekommen, um diesen Text zu verfassen. mit dem ersten Teil eines stichpunktes jedoch konnte ich nichts anfagen. was soll das bedeuten: "questions rights of kings: We hol...."[/quote] Das weiß ich auch nicht so genau, aber vielleicht soll das heißen dass die Macht der Könige, d.h. die Monarchie infrage gestellt wird? Vielleicht sozusagen ein erster Schritt in Richtung Demokratie? [quote]und der zweite Text handelt über MOHANDA GANDHI's FREIHEITSKAMPF: Indian got its independence after two centuries of colonial rule in 1947. Mohanda Gandhi, later he earned the title "Mahatma" which mean "Great Soul", was very important for this great success. He was the spiritual and political leader of India who led the struggle for India's independence from the British Empire, empowered by tens of millions of Indians. Throughout his life he opposed any form of terrorism or violence. His philosophy of nonviolence, has influenced national and international nonviolent resistance movements to this day. [/quote] [i]..."Mahatma", which [u]means[/u]... [/i] [quote]Gandhi's world-famous "Salt March" was an act of protest against the British salt tax in colonial India. Ghandi and many other Indian men set out, on foot, for a coastel village called Dandi some 240 miles away to make his own salt. This campaign should also explain the "civil disobedience" and was one of his most successful. [/quote] [i]...one of his most succesful [u]ones[/u].[/i] [quote]By "civil disobedience" he understand the courage not to obey an unjust law and not to attack or to kill somebody whatever happens, to beware the self-respect, not to strike a blow, but to receive them and to make others see their injustice through the pain of the (Gerechten). [/quote] [i]By civil disobedience he [u]understood[/u](whatch your tenses!)/ put an emphasize on the courage...[/i] Hoffe ich konnte dir damit helfen. Pass ein bisschen mit den Zeiten auf! Greets Yellow[/quote]
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J.R.
Verfasst am: 11. Dez 2005 15:06
Titel: EIN WENIG TROST, Anna
Hi Anna,
ich probiere dir (obwohl ich nicht mal hier Member bin) ein wenig unter die Arme zu greifen... schließlich wollen wir doch keine Enttäuschungen Anna, oder??
_____________________________
Hier meine Verbesserungen:
THE AMERICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE
It all started in the early 1600s when the British
began to find colonies
, by 1732 they had 13, in the "New Word", nowadays called America. For the reason that most of the colonists were loyal to the British crown, the relationship
between the native country and the
colonists was good for both sides.
The relationship
was even so goo
d that the colonists fought side by side with
the regular British troops, during the tussles against France for land in America.
At the
end Britain won all of the land to the east of the Mississipi River. The war had proved expensive, so that Britain was deeply in dept when it was over.
//ICH KANN MIT DEM WORT "Dept" NICHTS ANFANGEN. HEIßT ES RECHNUNG?? SCHULDEN??
VIELLEICHT MEINST DU AUCH "Debt" ALSO DIE "Finanzschulden bzw. Schudlen"
That's the reason why they had to think about how they could procure money to pay their war debt.
And they really found a way. The British commited the colonies to pay a war debt and justified it with the fact that the war was fought for them.
They also had to pay lots of taxes. The sugar act for example forced them to pay taxes on certain goods importes into America from outside the British Empire.
There was also a stamp act which force them to pay these taxes in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers.
But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in the British Parliament. And that's why they protested: No taxation without representation!
And it cames who it how to comes:
the Boston massacre took place. The colonists began to protest against the adhesion taxes. The centre of this protest was Bosten. More than 4000 soldiers were sent there to to put down the rebellions.
And for the reason that soldiers shoot into the crowd after they had thrown stones of them and 5 people had to die this anti-British rot was called "a massacre".
//DIESER SATZ MACHT KEINEN SINN... WAS MEINST DU?? SCHREIB ES AUF DEUTSCH...
The British
reacted
(behalte die Vergangenheit ein) to this with a new law. Only the British-owned East India Company was able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because of the disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists threw tea from British ships into Boston Harbor to protest against all these wrongs.
Thus the Boston Tea Party marked the beginning of violence in the dispute between the native country the and colonies. ´
The British wanted to arrest the anti-British leaders at Lexington and Concord and take away their guns. So British soldiers marched from Boston. But a signal from a lamp of the Boston church warned Paul Revere who rode to warn the people at Lexington and Concord and the first real battle of War of Independence took place and claimed 342 of lives.
In 1776 the thirteen colonies declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so.
This "Declaration of Independence" contains a list of wrongs that should be righted. This time, the reaction by the British was more drastic: they declared war.
So, das war der Erste. Wir hatten Stichpunkte bekommen, um diesen Text zu verfassen. mit dem ersten Teil eines stichpunktes jedoch konnte ich nichts anfagen. was soll das bedeuten: "questions rights of kings: We hol...."
//DARAUF HABE ICH AUCH LEIDER KEINE ANTWORT...
und der zweite Text handelt über MOHANDA GANDHI's FREIHEITSKAMPF:
Indian got its independence after two centuries of colonial rule in 1947. Mohanda Gandhi, later he earned the title "Mahatma" which mean "Great Soul", was very important for this great success. He was the spiritual and political leader of India who led the struggle for India's independence from the British Empire, empowered by tens of millions of Indians. Throughout his life he opposed any form of terrorism or violence. His philosophy of nonviolence, has influenced national and international nonviolent resistance movements to this day.
Gandhi's world-famous "Salt March" was an act of protest against the British salt tax in colonial India. Ghandi and many other
Indians
men set out, on foot, for a coastel village called Dandi 240 miles away to make his own salt.
This campaign should also explain the "civil disobedience" and was one of Gandhi´s most successful doings.
By "civil disobedience" he understood the courage not to obey an unjust law and not to attack or to kill somebody whatever happens, to beware the self-respect, not to strike a blow, but to receive them and to make others see their injustice through th
e pain of the who is fair-minded
.
ICH HOFFE ICH KONNTE DIR HELFEN...
J.R.
P.S. Das mach ich nur weil ich ne Freundin hab die Anna heißt
Yellow
Verfasst am: 11. Dez 2005 14:51
Titel:
Hi! Ich versuchs einfach mal mit deinem Text! Hoff es bringt dir was!
Zitat:
THE AMERICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE
It all started in the early 1600s when the British began to found colonies, by 1732 they had 13, in the "New Word", nowadays called America. For the reason that most of the colonists were loyal to the British crown, the relationship between the mother country and the colonists was good for both sides.
The relationship was so good that the colonists fought side by side with the regular British troops, when Britain and France fought over land in America.
In the end Britain won all the land east of the Mississipi River but still the war had proved expensive, so that Britain ws deeply in dept when it was over.
That's why they had to think about how they xould take in money to pay their war dept.
...so that Britain was deeply in
debt
when it was over. That's why they had to think about how they could/how to
gain
money to pay their war
debt
.
Zitat:
And they really found a way. The British wanted the colonies to pay a war dept for the reason that the war was fought for them.
The British wanted the colonies to pay their
debts
for the reason/as a consequence that the war was fought for them/in order to support them (or better: The British wanted the colonies to pay their debts in return for their support.)
Zitat:
They also had to pay lots of taxes. The sugar act for example forced them to pay taxes on certain goods importes into America from outside the British Empire.
They(who? the colonies?) also had to pay a lot of taxes. The sugar act,(?) for example, forced them to pay taxes/made them pay charges on certain goods that were imported into America from the British Empire.
Zitat:
There was also a stamp act which force them to pay these taxes in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers. But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in British Parliament. And that's why they protest: No taxation without representation!
There was also a stamp act(???) which
forced
them to pay these fees in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers. (try to avoid the use of the word taxes. By the way, what do you mean by that? Druckgebühren??)
But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in British Parliament. And that's why they
protested
: No taxation without representation!
Zitat:
(Und so kam es wie es kommen musste): the Boston massacre took place. The colonists began to protest against these taxes. The centre of this protest was Bosten and 4000 soldiers were sent there to calm down the troublemakers. And for the reason that soldiers shoot into the crowd after they had thrown stones of them and 5 people had to die this anti-British rot was called "a massacre".
This followed an unavoidable consequence: As a result of the protests against taxes, an anti-British
riot
took place. This revolt was later called the "Boston Massacre", firstly because the centre of this protests was Boston and secondly because the 4000 soldiers who had been sent there to calm down the troublemakers
shot
into the crowd and thus killed five people after
some of the protestors had thrown
stones
at
them.
Zitat:
The British react to this with a new law. Only the British-owned East India Company was able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because of the disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists threw tea from British ships into Boston Harbor to protest against all these wrongs.
The British
reacted
to this with a new law. Only the East Indian Companies owned by the British were able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because this disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists protested against the injustice again by throwing tea from British ships into Boston Harbor.
Zitat:
Thus the Boston Tea Party marked the beginning of violence in the dispute between mother country and colonies. ´
The British wanted to arrest the anti-British leaders at Lexington and Concord and take away their guns. So British soldiers marched from Boston. But a signal from a lamp of the Boston church warned Paul Revere who rode to warn the people at Lexington and Concord and the first real battle of War of Independence took place and claimed 342 of lives.
Another time, the British...
So British soldiers marched from Boston(??What do you mean by that?). But one of the protestors was warned in time and managed to inform the people at Lexington and Concord (leave out unimportant details). (begin a new sentece here) Thus, the first
open
battle of
the
War of Independence took place(when?), which cost (why claimed??) 342 lives.
Zitat:
In 1776 the thirteen colonies declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so.
This "Declaration of Independence" contains a list of wrongs that should be righted. This time, the reaction by the British was more drastic: they declared war.
...This "Declaration of Independence contained a list of injustices that should be put right. ...
Zitat:
So, das war der Erste. Wir hatten Stichpunkte bekommen, um diesen Text zu verfassen. mit dem ersten Teil eines stichpunktes jedoch konnte ich nichts anfagen. was soll das bedeuten: "questions rights of kings: We hol...."
Das weiß ich auch nicht so genau, aber vielleicht soll das heißen dass die Macht der Könige, d.h. die Monarchie infrage gestellt wird? Vielleicht sozusagen ein erster Schritt in Richtung Demokratie?
Zitat:
und der zweite Text handelt über MOHANDA GANDHI's FREIHEITSKAMPF:
Indian got its independence after two centuries of colonial rule in 1947. Mohanda Gandhi, later he earned the title "Mahatma" which mean "Great Soul", was very important for this great success. He was the spiritual and political leader of India who led the struggle for India's independence from the British Empire, empowered by tens of millions of Indians. Throughout his life he opposed any form of terrorism or violence. His philosophy of nonviolence, has influenced national and international nonviolent resistance movements to this day.
..."Mahatma", which
means
...
Zitat:
Gandhi's world-famous "Salt March" was an act of protest against the British salt tax in colonial India. Ghandi and many other Indian men set out, on foot, for a coastel village called Dandi some 240 miles away to make his own salt. This campaign should also explain the "civil disobedience" and was one of his most successful.
...one of his most succesful
ones
.
Zitat:
By "civil disobedience" he understand the courage not to obey an unjust law and not to attack or to kill somebody whatever happens, to beware the self-respect, not to strike a blow, but to receive them and to make others see their injustice through the pain of the (Gerechten).
By civil disobedience he
understood
(whatch your tenses!)/ put an emphasize on the courage...
Hoffe ich konnte dir damit helfen. Pass ein bisschen mit den Zeiten auf!
Greets Yellow
Anna
Verfasst am: 10. Dez 2005 20:15
Titel: Hilfe bei einem englischen Text über Independence
Hallihallo....
ehrlich gesagt bin ich ein wenig enttäuscht. als ich im internet zufällig auf diese site hier gestoßen bin, hab ich mich total gefreut und dachte, das wäre doch mal eine chance texte zum üben zu schreiben und nachgucken zu lassen. jetzt habe ich jedoch schon 2mal texte zu Independence in Amerika und Indien ins Forum gepackt, aber bekomme leider keine antworten. es wäre wirklich wichtig. zum glück ist die arbeit auf donnerstag verschoben worden. und ich hoffe, dass jemand nun so nett ist und meine texte bis dahin kurz durchlesen könnte. würde mich schon über ein paar korrekturen oder verbesserungsvorschläge freuen. mfg anna
THE AMERICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE
It all started in the early 1600s when the British began to found colonies, by 1732 they had 13, in the "New Word", nowadays called America. For the reason that most of the colonists were loyal to the British crown, the relationship between the mother country and the colonists was good for both sides.
The relationship was so good that the colonists fought side by side with the regular British troops, when Britain and France fought over land in America.
In the end Britain won all the land east of the Mississipi River but still the war had proved expensive, so that Britain ws deeply in dept when it was over.
That's why they had to think about how they xould take in money to pay their war dept.
And they really found a way. The British wanted the colonies to pay a war dept for the reason that the war was fought for them. They also had to pay lots of taxes. The sugar act for example forced them to pay taxes on certain goods importes into America from outside the British Empire.
There was also a stamp act which force them to pay these taxes in form of stamps on paper, including newspapers.
But although the colonists paid so much money, they were not represented in British Parliament. And that's why they protest: No taxation without representation!
(Und so kam es wie es kommen musste): the Boston massacre took place. The colonists began to protest against these taxes. The centre of this protest was Bosten and 4000 soldiers were sent there to calm down the troublemakers. And for the reason that soldiers shoot into the crowd after they had thrown stones of them and 5 people had to die this anti-British rot was called "a massacre".
The British react to this with a new law. Only the British-owned East India Company was able to sell tea without the usual colonial tax. Because of the disruption to American commerce was unacceptable to many, the colonists threw tea from British ships into Boston Harbor to protest against all these wrongs.
Thus the Boston Tea Party marked the beginning of violence in the dispute between mother country and colonies. ´
The British wanted to arrest the anti-British leaders at Lexington and Concord and take away their guns. So British soldiers marched from Boston. But a signal from a lamp of the Boston church warned Paul Revere who rode to warn the people at Lexington and Concord and the first real battle of War of Independence took place and claimed 342 of lives.
In 1776 the thirteen colonies declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so.
This "Declaration of Independence" contains a list of wrongs that should be righted. This time, the reaction by the British was more drastic: they declared war.
So, das war der Erste. Wir hatten Stichpunkte bekommen, um diesen Text zu verfassen. mit dem ersten Teil eines stichpunktes jedoch konnte ich nichts anfagen. was soll das bedeuten: "questions rights of kings: We hol...."
und der zweite Text handelt über MOHANDA GANDHI's FREIHEITSKAMPF:
Indian got its independence after two centuries of colonial rule in 1947. Mohanda Gandhi, later he earned the title "Mahatma" which mean "Great Soul", was very important for this great success. He was the spiritual and political leader of India who led the struggle for India's independence from the British Empire, empowered by tens of millions of Indians. Throughout his life he opposed any form of terrorism or violence. His philosophy of nonviolence, has influenced national and international nonviolent resistance movements to this day.
Gandhi's world-famous "Salt March" was an act of protest against the British salt tax in colonial India. Ghandi and many other Indian men set out, on foot, for a coastel village called Dandi some 240 miles away to make his own salt. This campaign should also explain the "civil disobedience" and was one of his most successful.
By "civil disobedience" he understand the courage not to obey an unjust law and not to attack or to kill somebody whatever happens, to beware the self-respect, not to strike a blow, but to receive them and to make others see their injustice through the pain of the (Gerechten).
nochmals danke, über eine rasch antwort würde ich mich freuen