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[quote="brian"]My goals in life and how I'm going to reach them: My personal goals in life are not that many. First of all, i would like to be pretty successful in my career. But instead of being a manager who hasn't got much time for his family, I would prefer having a well-paid job that makes living, without worries, possible. Of course, having an employment that offers a high income costs quite an effort but this no reason for me why I should not be able to reach this goal. In general, finishingschool with acceptable grades and having a good education is very important to me. Therefore, I will try to give my best to achieve everything I wish for. Furthermore, becoming an old man who is still able to manage daily problems without any help, is another goal in my life I would like to reach. I already stopped smoking and I live quite healthy to make this become true. Obviously, there is a lot more left to do, but in my opinion, I'm on the right way.[/quote]
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Goldenhind
Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 20:40
Titel:
Ja genau, "I'm" und "hasn't" solltest du besser ausschreiben, weil es sonst eben Umgangssprache ist.
brian
Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 20:07
Titel:
kurzformen?
also I'm?
hauptsächlich habe ich nämlich versucht, solche formen zu gebrauchen nur dachte ich mir hier, dass es eher ungewöhnlich ist "I am" zu schreiben
Goldenhind
Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 19:59
Titel:
Statt "pretty" würde ich in diesem Fall z.B. "fairly" benutzen. Das störendste sind aber sicherlich die Kurzformen.
brian
Verfasst am: 14. Sep 2008 19:16
Titel:
danke schön!
mh,ist das denn sooo umgangssprachlich geschrieben?
du meinst, pretty sollte mit "decent" etc ersetzt werden?
Goldenhind
Verfasst am: 12. Sep 2008 16:04
Titel: Re: bitte korrigiert mal folgenden text :) wäre super nett!
brian hat Folgendes geschrieben:
My goals in life and how I'm going to reach them:
My personal goals in life are not that many. First of all, i would like to be pretty successful in my career. But instead of being a manager who hasn't got much time for his family, I would prefer having a well-paid job that makes living, without worries, possible
ich würde das "possible" vom Gefühl eher direkt hinter "makes" setzen
. Of course, having an employment that offers a high income costs quite an effort but this
is
no reason for me why I should not be able to reach this goal. In general, finishingschool with acceptable grades and having a good education is very important to me. Therefore, I will try to give
Achtung Denglisch! besser "do"
my best to achieve everything I wish for. Furthermore, becoming an old man who is still able to manage daily problems without any help, is another goal in my life I would like to reach
"I would like to reach" würde ich rausnehmen, das impliziert doch bereits der Begriff "goal", oder hast du auch Ziele, die du nicht erreichen möchtest?
. I
have
already stopped smoking and I live quite health
ily
to make this become true. Obviously, there is a lot more left to do, but in my opinion, I'm on the right way.
Ich hoffe, dir ist bewusst, dass du eher umgangssprachlich schreibst (Kurzformen, Wörter wie "pretty")
brian
Verfasst am: 11. Sep 2008 20:08
Titel: bitte korrigiert mal folgenden text :) wäre super nett!
My goals in life and how I'm going to reach them:
My personal goals in life are not that many. First of all, i would like to be pretty successful in my career. But instead of being a manager who hasn't got much time for his family, I would prefer having a well-paid job that makes living, without worries, possible. Of course, having an employment that offers a high income costs quite an effort but this no reason for me why I should not be able to reach this goal. In general, finishingschool with acceptable grades and having a good education is very important to me. Therefore, I will try to give my best to achieve everything I wish for. Furthermore, becoming an old man who is still able to manage daily problems without any help, is another goal in my life I would like to reach. I already stopped smoking and I live quite healthy to make this become true. Obviously, there is a lot more left to do, but in my opinion, I'm on the right way.