Letter of Motivation for University - bitte korrekturlesen

Dapil · Anmeldungsdatum: 02.02.2012 Beiträge: 1

Meine Frage:
Hallo,

Ich muss am Freitag Letters of Motivation für meine Bewerbung bei der Uni Maastricht abschicken (Studiengang International Business; max. 250 words/Frage).. Kann mir jemand diese Briefe Korrektur lesen? Das wäre sehr lieb!! :)

1) Why do you want to attend our University?
In my opinion, the Problem-Based Learning (which I got to know hands-on on several Experience-Days) is a modern and student-friendly concept which helps you on one hand to achieve your learning goals better. On the other hand I thinks it is useful to share your knowledge with others - and thus to keep things better in mind. With Problem-Based Learning you can improve your skills in a lot of different ways, which will definitely help you in your future career.

The University of Maastricht is famous for it's international character which makes it so attractive for me. My parents found it important to enable me as much as possible contact with other cultures and cultures. This is why we traveled about two times a year to other countries all around the world. Due to this I am fascinated by other cultures even more and I would really enjoy the international experience.

Going to school in Germany, I took English as an advanced course. Nevertheless, studying in this language is very attractive for my improvement in English.

When I found out about the good reputation of SBE, it sounded even more attractive to me.

Besides that, when I had a tour of the school I felt very comfortable and I can really imagine being there for the next three years; I made the choice that SBE is that School I want to attend for the next three years.

2) How will your BSc in IB help you in your Future career?

After my graduation I am looking forward to be able to understand the complexity of business and management.
I expect to learn more about managing human resources, markets and people.

Out of all the schools I visited I found Maastricht University to be the one that offers me exactly the right program I seek to go to for my future career.

I intend to achieve the Bachelor of Science, followed by the Master of Science in International Business. It is my clear aim to work in an international company or in an business consultancy.

To achieve this goal, preparations in terms of Consulting, Investment, Finance and Strategy departments of international corporations or furthermore help in setting up my own business are required.

In addition, the contact to other students from all over the world will be helpful for my future and I am sure that I will benefit from this connections.

Having said all that, I believe very strongly that the International Business Program will help me to reach my very personal career objectives.

Meine Ideen:
Danke schonmal an alle, die sich für mich bemühen! smile

Trak · Gast

Hallo,

etwas generelles ist, dass du oft das Wort "school" verwendest, dabei wäre es Wahrscheinlich besser, University zu schreiben (außer du sendest das Schreiben an eine Einrichtung, die mit School of ... betitelt ist)

Bei einigen Sätzen ist die Konstruktion etwas komisch:

Dalli · Gast

Hey,

Danke schonmal! smile

Wenn du dir die Mühe machen würdest, und mir auch inhaltlich Tips geben würdest, wäre ich dir Superdankbar!! Fröhlich

Dapi · Anmeldungsdatum: 02.02.2012 Beiträge: 1

Hey,

Danke schonmal! smile

Wenn du dir die Mühe machen würdest, und mir auch inhaltlich Tips geben würdest, wäre ich dir Superdankbar!! Fröhlich

Trak · Gast

Hi,

der zweite Teil ist ganz gut, aber der erste für mich noch zu unpersönlich:

Sätze wie:

Trak · Gast

P.S.

Sollten die Fragen einzelt beantwortet werden, oder soll ein kohärenter text entstehen?

flowii · Gast

Hey

Ich würde gerne wissen ob du mit deinem Letter of Motivation angenommen wurdest, da ich mich für kommendes Jahr auch gerne bewerben möchte.
Liebe Grüße