Coming of Age - Reunion

Unknown student · Anmeldungsdatum: 18.01.2012 Beiträge: 3

Meine Frage:
Hallo,
ich habe mal einen Text verfasst, den wir für unseren Englisch Leistungskurs (Klasse 11 ) freiwillig schreiben konnte. Es geht um das Buch "Coming of Age". Ich habe über das Klassentreffen nach 10 Jahren aus der Sicht von Erika geschrieben. Ich würde mich über inhaltliche (evtl.) und sprachliche Verbesserungsvorschläge freuen. Vielleicht findet ihr auch noch Wendungen die mehr Slang enthalten. Danke schonmal.

Meine Ideen:
Erika

Today, I took a look into the mailbox. I thought that would not be anything interesting for me inside of it, but I was wrong. There was a very classic envelope. Normally, I am not receiving letters like this.
I was very wired up about the content so I cannot wait until I am in the house again. So I opened it very fast. It was a letter from the ex-student-councilors. They invited ME to the alumni reunion. That must me Ruthie?s idea. Nobody else is so forgiving as she is. I know ten years ago I would not have thought like this but we are all older now. Well, most of us are. I remember our fight before our graduation but I cannot remember when I was more agro than during this time. She took my boyfriend! He was the only one I had in this time. I was alone. I was a nobody and it was really hard to accept this. Ruthie was right when I was wrong. I was violent, I was young and inexperienced but now I know my bads. This time is gone but mistakes are not forgiven just because time goes by. Even if it will be hard to go there, I will go to the reunion and meet the others.

Four weeks later I was ready to face all my ex-friends and rivals. The assembly hall was not far away from where I live now with my husband and my son.
I decided to leave them at home, because I did not know how Ruthie, AJ and all the others will react.
Resolved, that I will make peace with the others and of course with myself, I started driving but then, some minutes away from the assembly hall, I was chickenhearted because I do not know what will happen this evening.
(Das ist nur ein Teil, morgen schreibe ich weiter)

Pinpal · Anmeldungsdatum: 20.01.2012 Beiträge: 3

Ich bin jetzt selbst nicht soooo der Englischprofi, aber ich hab dir mal ein paar Sachen angestrichen, die ich persönlich anders gemacht hätte smile

Today, I took a look into the mailbox. I thought there would not be anything interesting for me inside of it, but I was wrong. There was a very classic envelope. Normally, I am not receiving letters like this.
I was so wired up about the content that I could not wait until I was in the house again. So I opened it very fast. It was a letter from the ex-student-councilors. They invited ME to the alumni reunion. That must be Ruthie's idea. Nobody else is so forgiving as she is. I know ten years ago I would not have thought like this but we are all older now. Well, most of us are. I remember our fight before our graduation but I cannot remember when I was more wrathful than during this time. She took my boyfriend! He was the only one I had in this time. I was alone. I was a nobody and it was really hard for me to accept this. Ruthie was right when I was wrong. I was violent, I was young and inexperienced but now I know my bads. This time is gone but mistakes are not forgiven just because time goes by. Even if it will be hard to go there, I will go to the reunion and meet the others.

Four weeks later I was ready to face all my ex-friends and rivals. The assembly hall was not far away from where I live now with my husband and my son.
I decided to leave them at home, because I did not know how Ruthie, AJ and all the others would react.
Resolved, that I will make peace with the others and of course with myself, I started driving but then, some minutes away from the assembly hall, I was chickenhearted because I did not know what was going to happen this evening.

Das fette sind meine Anmerkungen, ohne Garantie auf Vollständigkeit und absolute Richtigkeit smile

Unknown student · Anmeldungsdatum: 18.01.2012 Beiträge: 3

Vielen Dank.
Das Meiste konnte ich unter eigener Dummheit verbuchen. Deswegen bi ich umso dankbarer wenn jemand meine Fehler findet.