Referat -Bitte um Testkorrektur

Kim_A · Anmeldungsdatum: 09.12.2011 Beiträge: 1

Meine Frage:
Hallo zusammen, ich habe ein Problem...und zwar muss ich am nächsten Mittwoch ein Referat in Englisch halten über die zunehmende Studentenzahl in Deutschland. Mein Teil des Referates bezieht sich auf die Gründe der steigenden Studentenzahl und welche Lösungen es gibt um die ganzen Studenten in einer Uni unterzubringen.

Ich muss sagen, ich tue mich mit dem Thema sehr schwer. Da ich nicht gut Englisch kann und sehr unsicher mit manchen Wörtern bin. Bitte schaut Euch den Text doch mal an...
Vielen Dank im voraus!
Kim

Text:

Now, I´m going to inform you about the reasons for the problem. Why are there more students than ever before?

This growing number is a due to three points.

First, there is the elimination of the conscription call (Wehrpflicht?)
In the bar chart you can see that the number of conscripts (Wehrpflichtige?) is falling since 1980. But there are still 70.000 conscripts in 2009.
With the loss of the conscription call, these young people have to find out what they want to do after school. Most of them want to go to an university.

Second, there is the elimination of the civil service (Zivildienst?). With the loss of the conscription call, there is also the loss of the civil service. You can see on the chart, that there are about 90.000 people, how provided civil service in 2009.
Althought there are a lot of other volunteer or social work options, the most of them have the desire to study.

The last and third point is the double Abi-class G8/G9. This year ? only in Bavaria ? there are about 60.000 more abi-graduates than in 2010. And more than 70 % of them want to go to an university.

So, the next question is, what can an university do to handle all these students? Especially what can our university do?
We have made a look at other university and found some solutions.

The first solution is to outsource the lectures to have more space for all students. For example the university Kassel outsources their lectures already. The lectures taking place in churches or cinemas.
The students can follow the lectures directly or via video link. Moreover the university rent free space in hospitals or agencys.

Another solution is to expand the university. In Paderborn they have pitched large tents on the university area. Other universities construct new rooms or they upgrade their basement or attic.

Meine Ideen:
Bitte um Textkorrektur. Teilweise habe ich in Deutsch dahinter geschrieben, was ich damit meine :-)