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jiani90
Anmeldungsdatum: 02.12.2011
Beiträge: 2
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 Verfasst am: 05. Dez 2011 00:45 Titel: Letter of motivation for international business |
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Meine Frage:
Meine Frage:
Hallo liebe EB Community,
ich moechte gerne bei der CBS in koeln bewerben und muss vorher einen Letter of Motivation schreiben. Da ich nie einen sowas geschrieben habe, und ich bin mir nicht sicher ob es in dieser Form richtig ist.
Es waer sehr lieb, wenn ihr Verbesserungsvorschlaege habt.
Danke im Voraus.
Meine Ideen:
Dear Sir and Madam,
I am applying to your Bachelor program of "International Business" with specialization in "Marketing Management" starting in August 2011.
In the year 2009 I graduated at Willybrord Gymnasium in Emmerich and currently I am doing an internship called ?gelenktes Praktikum? at an advertising agency, which I will accomplish March 2012.<br>
Because of my knowledge of three different languages and cultures such as english, german and chinese I had the chance to work as a hostess and correspondent at exhibition during the past years. There I received experience in the field of Sales and Communication. Furthermore I realized how important my speaking skills in the field of Sales are. Since then I find this field of Marketing and Sales very interesting and I started to collect all information about it. In addition I attended the Marketing class at High school for one semester where I established my first impression in that field. Since I did a very good job at the exhibition as a correspondent, the company, I worked for, offered me a job as salesman and correspondent for Asia. Before I start my future career there I would like to take all my knowledge that I will learn at CBS with me. Moreover I am doing an internship in an advertising agency and there I experienced a lot about creating sell strategies and designing advertise. That reconfirms more my choice studying International Business with the specialization in Marketing Management.
Different cultures always fascinated me. That is why I participated in a High School Exchange Program and went to the USA for one semester in year 2006. I liked the American way of life so much which made me moved there for 8 months after graduating. During that time I have improved my English speaking skills a lot. Therefore I will have no big struggle in comprehend the entire English speaking course at CBS. Besides having the knowledge of American and German cultures, I also have the Chinese culture in me because I was born in China and grew up there till I am eight. Chinese economics increasing rapidly right now so knowing their cultures and language will help me much with my career progression. Moreover I am a diligent and determined person. If I set a goal I will work as hard as I can to achieve. Only with hard working one can make everything possible. In addition I am very communicative, sociable and creative. These are my strongest personal characteristics and I believe that only in this field of marketing I can apply those characteristic or even fit in this field pretty well.
International Marketing is my choice. Therefore it is important for me to discover a School who has an international program, which is held in English, having the specialization in Marketing. Through all the Schools in whole Germany I found Cologne business School that offers me exact the right program I would like to go for my future career. When I discovered that CBS even received a very good rating in the ?CHE Ranking? this Business School sounds more attractive to me. Furthermore the program contains a semester abroad in the fifth semester that I am very looking forward to. Beside that when I had a little tour in the school I feel very comfortable and I can imagine me being there for my three years of studies. Since I have already lived in Cologne and just love this beautiful city I made the choice that Cologne business School is that School I am going to intend for the next three years.
Thank you considering my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely
xxxxxxx |
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MI
Administrator
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2005
Beiträge: 1140
Wohnort: München
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| Verfasst am: 05. Dez 2011 22:12 Titel: Re: Letter of motivation for international business |
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Ein paar Korrekturen und viele Vorschläge habe ich mal eingebaut. Bei Fragen bitte.
Gruß
MI
| jiani90 hat Folgendes geschrieben: |
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am applying to your Bachelor program of "International Business" with specialization in "Marketing Management" starting in August 2011.
In the year 2009 I graduated at Willybrord Gymnasium in Emmerich and currently I am doing an internship at an advertising agency till March 2012. "called ..." einfach weglassen. Ich habe von so etwas noch nie gehört und könnte mir vorstellen, dass es dafür keine wörtliche Entsprechung gibt. Ferner ein Vorschlag für eine kleine Kürzung.
Because of my knowledge of three different languages and cultures, these are English, German and Chinese, I had the chance to work as a hostess and correspondent at exhibition during the past years. "such as" heißt "wie zum Beispiel". Wenn du sagst du kannst drei und dann drei aufzählst, ist das eher kein Beispiel. There I received experience in the field of Sales and Communication. Furthermore I realized how important my speaking skills in the field of Sales are. Since then I find this field of Marketing and Sales very interesting and I started to collect all information about it. In addition, I attended the marketing class at high school for one semester where I obtained a first impression of that field. Since I did a very good job at the exhibition as a correspondent, the company I worked for offered me a job as salesman and correspondent for Asia. Before I start my future career there I would like to take all my knowledge that I will learn at CBS with me. Der Satz geht so nicht, den müsstest du umschreiben. Was willst du sagen? Moreover I am doing an internship in an advertising agency and there I got many insights in creating sales strategies and designing advertisements. This further strengthens my wish to study International Business with the specialization in Marketing Management.
Different cultures always fascinated me. That is why I participated in a high school exchange program and went to the USA for one semester in the year 2006. I liked the American way of life so much which made me move there for eight months after graduating. Zahlen bis zwölf ausschreiben! During that time I have improved my English speaking skills a lot. Therefore I will have no problem whatsoever in comprehending the entire English speaking course at CBS. "in" braucht ein mEn ein Gerund hier. Das "struggle" hört sich in meinem Bauch etwas komisch an, daher ein etwas anderer Vorschlag. Vielleicht etwas umgangssprachlich, aber eigentlich müsste es gehen. Besides having the knowledge of American and German cultures, I also have deep knowledge of the Chinese culture because I was born in China and grew up there till I was eight. "Kultur in sich tragen" gibt's soweit ich weiß im Englischen nicht. Chinese economics is increasing rapidly right now so knowing their cultures and language will help me much with my career progression. Moreover I am a diligent and determined person. If I set a goal I will work as hard as I can to achieve it. Only with hard work one can make everything possible. In addition I am very communicative, sociable and creative. These are my strongest personal characteristics and I believe that only in the field of marketing I can develop and use all of these characteristics to great success. Dein Satz gefällt mir hier irgendwie gar nicht, aber das ist natürlich deine Entscheidung. Irgendetwas stört mich, aber ich kann gerade nicht sagen, was.
International Marketing is my choice. Therefore it is important for me to attend a school which has an international program, which is held in English, having the specialization in Marketing. Out of all the schools in all of Germany I found Cologne Business School to be the one that offers me exactly the right program I seek to go to for my future career. When I discovered that CBS even received a very good rating in the ?CHE Ranking? this Business School sounds more attractive to me. Kurzer Kommentar: Unis sehen diese Rankings häufig mit einem Stirnrunzeln, ich weiß nicht, ob ich das extra erwähnen würde. Vielleicht eher im Sinne von "When I found out about the good reputation of CPS, it sounded even more attractive to me." Furthermore the program contains a semester abroad in the fifth semester that I am very looking forward to. Beside that when I had a little tour of the school I felt very comfortable and I can imagine being there for my three years of studies. Since I have already lived in Cologne and just love this beautiful city I made the choice that Cologne business School is that School I am going to attend for the next three years.
Thank you considering my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
xxxxxxx |
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